Hi girls 🙋 Taking breaks from Susan's brings me back to reality from what can be described as obsessing at times.  It only takes a short bit.  To have your transition on your mind constantly can lead you away from life.  Susan's Place can be a form of an addictive substance.  I'm not saying that in a derogatory fashion.  Maybe better said would be to liken it to a medication that is necessary for your well being, that I'm searching for the right dosage. For me it's important to have my feet firmly planted.  There are 2 realities that I struggle between, both have firm footing.  With my imperfect understanding of gender fluidity, I feel there must be firm footing in between. 
I've been down the rabbit hole of being male.  I didn't like who I had to portray because of my genitalia.  What I don't want is to fall down the rabbit hole of being female.  I want to be able to keep who I am, which has always been a mix of both as I stroll to my happy place down somewhere on the path, much more female.

((Hugs)) Jessica 💁

the internet is addicting. Doesn't matter how good or bad a place is, it can begin to rule you a bit. It's always good to take some time to self-adjust.

This includes everything. The biggest one is phones. Go off somewhere, leave your phone at home .. it's good for you.

Hi Jess,
   Who says you can't be you? We sometimes get caught up in other people's expectations. It's easy to do. Be yourself, whatever that looks like to others. More power to ya. I am a mix of old and new me, but I kept the parts I liked and tossed what I didn't like.
Moni

Quote from: Faith on January 17, 2018, 09:40:43 AM
the internet is addicting. Doesn't matter how good or bad a place is, it can begin to rule you a bit. It's always good to take some time to self-adjust.

This includes everything. The biggest one is phones. Go off somewhere, leave your phone at home .. it's good for you.

Leave my phone at home!!! I can't do that. What if I need to call someone while I need to call someone or someone wants to call me or something funny happens? I wouldn't have my phone to get a picture. What if the GPS in my car broke? Without the GPS on my phone I wouldn't know where I was going. What would I do while waiting at the drs office without my phone? What if I fell out or something or someone got hit by a bus? I couldn't call 911. I'm sorry but going out without your phone isn't safe.

Definitely be who you are, whoever you determine that to be.  The joy of this journey is the freedom to be yourself.

While my true self is firmly on the female side of the spectrum, it is not right at the edge of it.  I liken it to learning a new language as an adult: no matter how well you learn to speak it, you will always have an accent.  So I am going to be female with a bit of a male accent.  It is unavoidable, so I don't even worry about it.  It frees me up to be myself, whatever that turns out to be.

Quote from: Jessica on January 17, 2018, 09:36:24 AM
Hi girls 🙋 Taking breaks from Susan's brings me back to reality from what can be described as obsessing at times.  It only takes a short bit.  To have your transition on your mind constantly can lead you away from life.  Susan's Place can be a form of an addictive substance.  I'm not saying that in a derogatory fashion.  Maybe better said would be to liken it to a medication that is necessary for your well being, that I'm searching for the right dosage. For me it's important to have my feet firmly planted.  There are 2 realities that I struggle between, both have firm footing.  With my imperfect understanding of gender fluidity, I feel there must be firm footing in between. 
I've been down the rabbit hole of being male.  I didn't like who I had to portray because of my genitalia.  What I don't want is to fall down the rabbit hole of being female.  I want to be able to keep who I am, which has always been a mix of both as I stroll to my happy place down somewhere on the path, much more female.

((Hugs)) Jessica 💁

I'm a big advocate of taking regular breaks from the site, especially when making decisions or taking big steps
in your transition. There is a distinct possibility of getting swept along by the current here. It's very important
that your decisions are yours and are not influenced by the decisions being made around you. 

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 17, 2018, 02:32:58 PM
I'm a big advocate of taking regular breaks from the site, especially when making decisions or taking big steps
in your transition. There is a distinct possibility of getting swept along by the current here. It's very important
that your decisions are yours and are not influenced by the decisions being made around you. 

Hugs, Devlyn

Thank you Devlyn, I think your advice is very important!  I agree completely!

Hug and kiss, Jess

That's one reason I really enjoy my fossil hunting or camping.  It's just me and nature.  Everyone needs a break every now and then.

Quote from: Julia1996 on January 17, 2018, 10:40:14 AM
Leave my phone at home!!! I can't do that. What if I need to call someone while I need to call someone or someone wants to call me or something funny happens?

We wandered for miles and miles, no phone. Daytime, nighttime, rain, snow ... etc etc. I could be 15 miles into the forest and find my way out. (I grew up in farm country)

QuoteI wouldn't have my phone to get a picture.

We didn't have a portable camera

QuoteWhat if the GPS in my car broke? Without the GPS on my phone I wouldn't know where I was going.

No GPS, we looked around and used landmarks.

QuoteWhat would I do while waiting at the drs office without my phone?

Talk to the person next to you, read a paper magazine/newspaper (you know what a newspaper is!) or stare blankly at the wall

QuoteWhat if I fell out or something or someone got hit by a bus? I couldn't call 911.

1st aid

QuoteI'm sorry but going out without your phone isn't safe.

we didn't do much of anything that was 'safe' growing up. Still here

Hi Jessica, I also have many interests and hobbies that I do not plan on losing.  I still machine and 3d design, but an hour later I knit.  It feels great adding that typically feminine behavior to balance me.  I also agree that it becomes an obsession on this site.  I have also thought about taking breaks, but am sticking to it.  My biggest problem before was isolation.  I'm trying to not isolate myself at all during this transition.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Bari Jo on January 17, 2018, 07:47:36 PM
Hi Jessica, I also have many interests and hobbies that I do not plan on losing.  I still machine and 3d design, but an hour later I knit.  It feels great adding that typically feminine behavior to balance me.  I also agree that it becomes an obsession on this site.  I have also thought about taking breaks, but am sticking to it.  My biggest problem before was isolation.  I'm trying to not isolate myself at all during this transition.

Bari Jo

Just remember the words of Edie Brickell "hold me in the shallow waters before I get too deep"

Like looking at a computer screen for too long is bad for eyesight, being in a particular place with a specific focus and outlook can narrow your view as well. There are times when the weight of something just has to be shrugged off so you can mentally breathe and go outside.

I would say when it comes to the internet and different corners of it, it's positively healthy to get away from them for a few days or weeks at a time. You can always come back again.