Jessica's Rose Garden

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: April 05, 2020, 12:27:46 pm »
Although for the most part everything is going well, it seems we are still in a rough patch. One of our whippets, Charles, developed a neurological issue over a year ago. Based on the symptoms, we believe he has degenerative myelopathy. It's basically the canine version of Lou Gehrig's disease. Charles can't walk anymore, and when he stands his front paws are knuckled under. We have taken him to our vet, and there is nothing she can do. We think the time is coming soon for one last visit to the vet. We don't look forward to that day, but he has been a wonderful companion and we don't want him to suffer.

Based on current events, I guess we do have some good news. My job is secure (I'm working from home), Susan and I have mostly recovered from our respiratory issues, and we are not struggling to find toilet paper. We have also met another member of Susan's Place. Sophia has visited with us twice over the last few months. It always great to meet another member of the unicorn herd!

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: April 17, 2020, 11:33:32 am »
This is a difficult post for me. Later today we will be saying goodbye to a family companion. Charles, one of our whippets, had a neurological issue similar to ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) which slowly robbed him of the ability to walk and control his muscles. We took him to the vet about two weeks ago to see if there was anything that could be done. The vet offered some medication, which we accepted, but the vet did not have much confidence it would help. Charles seemed to get a little better at first, but it was just wishful thinking. Charles continued to deteriorate, and there were no other options left. It was a tearful decision for us, but our vet agreed it was time. This afternoon at 3:00pm MT, we will be taking Charles to the vet one more time. It is the last thing we can do for him, so he can rest in peace. Charles was a member of our family for over 11 years, and he will be greatly missed.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: April 19, 2020, 08:19:09 am »
Soon our household will be down to three, Susan, myself, and Prince (Charles' brother). Our youngest daughter, Kimberly, will be graduating with a Masters Degree in Biology next month. Due to COVID-19, there will not be a graduation ceremony. She accepted an offer from the Texas Department of State Health Services. Sometime within the next few weeks, I will be helping her move to Austin, TX. I can tell she is both excited and a bit nervous, but we are confident she will do well.

It's interesting how your life can be on autopilot for so many years. We just cruise along the route we have always taken, anticipating what our future holds. Suddenly, the road we were on is closed and we must take a detour. Now we no longer know what we will encounter along our route. We can either be frightened and just stare at the road ahead in fearful anticipation, or we can look beyond the road and enjoy the scenery along our new route. Choose to find joy in your journey.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: April 25, 2020, 05:41:36 am »
Another reminder of 'him' will soon be gone. I sold my 1987 Monte Carlo SS Aerocoupe, and will be splitting the proceeds with our daughters. After having owned it for over 30 years it was almost a family member -- we had it since before our daughters were born. On average we drove it less than 1000 miles a year, and I doubt it traveled that far in the last 5 years. It just sat in the garage most of the time.

On Thursday we dropped by our vet's office to pick up Charles' ashes and a plaster paw print. Susan started to open the box in the car, but I asked her not too. Charles was a great companion, but those reminders would just be too painful for me right now. Charles' brother Prince was somewhat sad for a day or two, but he seems to be doing fine now.

I had my yearly checkup yesterday, and the doctor spent much more time with me than usual. I discussed my bout with pneumonia, and based on my symptoms she suspects I had COVID-19. The lab tests won't be back for a few days, but everything seems to be fine. She did not order a COVID-19 antibody test at this time because she doesn't believe the tests are accurate enough yet.

Our daughter Kimberly will be moving to Austin soon. Susan and I are starting to pack some of her things. Helping her move will be bittersweet -- we will be sad to see her go, but happy she is starting a new phase in her life. It will be a new beginning for her, and a new beginning for Susan and I. It's interesting to realize that we may not have reached this point if I had not transitioned. 'His' anger and rage nearly destroyed us. The last few years have been a difficult detour, but now our family can continue on its journey through life.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: April 29, 2020, 06:05:32 am »
My friend came over yesterday and drove off with his new car. It's odd not seeing it in the garage. I had owned it for over 30 years. When 'he' bought it all those years ago, it was a symbol. Kind of nice that constant reminder of who I used to be is now gone. I was no longer attached to it, like some personal equipment I exchanged last year. At one time those things were very important to 'him', but I am no longer the person I used to be. It's interesting that I don't miss any of those things.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: May 06, 2020, 05:47:57 am »
Our daughter (Kimberly) and her boyfriend (Rob) arrived Monday evening. We have been helping Kimberly pack for her move to Austin, TX. So far everything has been going smoothly. Today we will get the moving van and start loading. We plan to arrive in Austin on Saturday, then I will get a rental car for my trip back to Colorado. Hopefully I will be home again by Monday afternoon.

I am still a bit bummed because my electrologist hasn't reopened. I've gone about two months without electrolysis and I feel like a wookie. I know there are many people out there with much bigger problems, but having to shave so often is a reminder of who I used to be, and that is painful.

Yesterday morning I saw a story about two young women who were murdered in Puerto Rico. Apparently, they were killed because the men they were with discovered the women were transgender. According to police, the men killed the women out of "revenge motivated by repudiating the sexual orientation of the victims". Being a woman makes us a target. Being transgender makes us more of a target.

I have had a concealed carry permit for about eight years now, and I have taken the CCW training course twice. Susan and I joined a local indoor firing range about a month ago, and we have been going to the range at least twice a week. I have also been trying out several different methods of carrying a concealed firearm. Despite all of the changes in my life, I still feel it is my responsibility to protect the ones I love. I certainly hope we can stay clear of any dangerous situations, but we can't always be lucky enough to have someone else nearby who can protect us. Whether it be a set of keys, pepper spray, a small knife, or a firearm, be prepared. Susan and I saw a sticker at a sporting goods store that sums it up -- 'I carry a gun because cops are too heavy.'

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: May 12, 2020, 11:24:03 am »
Short version -- Kimberly's move went well.

At noon on Wednesday (May 7th) we picked up the moving van, and by the end of the day we had most of Kimberly's things loaded.

On Thursday (May 7th) we hit the road for Socorro, NM, where Kimberly had been sharing a house with a few other students. On the way down, I discovered the air conditioner in the moving van didn't work very well. Luckily the temperature was only in the low 90's. We reached Socorro in the late afternoon and began loading the rest of Kimberly's things. I spent the night in the house, while Kimberly stayed at Rob's apartment. We finished packing Friday morning, then headed towards Austin, TX. The temperature was much cooler, but it was quite windy in places. Knowing the limitations of the truck's air conditioner, I was wearing lighter clothing. Somewhere along I-10 East of El Paso, my skort had climbed up high enough that a trucker I passed gave me an appreciative blast from his horn! I was smiling all the way to Ozona, TX, where we spent the night.

We left Ozona a little after 9:00am Saturday and arrived at Kimberly's apartment in Austin around 1:30pm. We had the moving van unloaded by 4:30pm. We had to hurry, but we were able to fill the gas tank and get to the rental return right at closing time. When we got back to the apartment, our good luck finally ran out. Kimberly couldn't get into her apartment. We all tried, but the deadbolt had failed. It took nearly three hours and several phone calls, but eventually a locksmith showed up. He couldn't open it either, so he drilled the lock and replaced it. After getting into the apartment, we ordered pizza and started unpacking. An hour or so later, Kimberly and Rob drove me to my hotel for the night.

Kimberly and Rob picked me up Sunday morning. We did a little shopping for some essentials, then went back to Kimberly's apartment to continue unpacking. Around 2:00pm we picked up my rental car. At 3:30pm I hugged both Rob and Kimberly as I said goodbye, then I hit the road for home. I spent the night in Sweetwater, TX. The next day while just south of Amarillo TX, @Sophiaprincess2019  told me she was in Amarillo! She asked if I could stop by, but I told her I had to get home because I had someone waiting for me. I arrived home Monday with just enough time to return the rental car.

Although Kimberly has been out of the house for a few years, we could always count on her to visit every few months. Now Kimberly and her sister both live a bit too far away for frequent visits. We are proud of both daughters, they are beautiful, intelligent, and confident. It's a bit ironic that I said goodbye to our youngest daughter on Mother's Day. It was a lot of work, and a lot of time behind the wheel, but I'm glad I was able to help Kimberly with her move. I really didn't want to leave, but it's nice to be home again.

We have seen a lot of changes in our lives this year. Emily got engaged in early February, and my mom passed away in late February. In March, Susan and I were both extremely ill. We said goodbye to one of our furry companions in April. In May, our last child graduated and moved away to start her career. I think we need a vacation!

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: May 18, 2020, 07:19:16 pm »
Yea! My electrologist finally re-opened today, so I celebrated with a three-hour appointment. I also booked another two hour appointment for Wednesday. Colorado is requiring electrologist's and their customers to wear masks, which rules out upper lip work for now. There is still plenty of ground to cover though, neck, check, stomach, bikini area.

I realize most of my postings lately don't mention anything about transitioning, but isn't that the goal for many of us? I remember going to bed at night, wishing that I would wake up the next morning as a woman. It didn't happen overnight, but my wish did come true. There are still some minor issues I will need to face occasionally, but all the big stuff is done. My life is pretty much back to normal now, including periodic trips to hair salons, laser hair removal appointments, and electrolysis sessions.

It took three years to change my life, to finally become comfortable in my own skin. I no longer go to bed at night wishing to wake up in a different body. Three years may sound like a long time, but it is much shorter than eternity.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Feb 2017 - Mar 2018 - Feb 2019 - Feb 2020

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: May 19, 2020, 07:23:38 pm »
Quote from: AllieSF on May 19, 2020, 11:08:10 am

How does it feel to have you whole house You now have your big house all to yourselves?  I bet you miss the kids a lot, even though they are out there living their own lives as we did so many years ago and we are so proud of them.  It still seems like a loss when we can't have those short passing conversations during our regular and normal days.  Conversations about whatever!

Allie

Since Kimberly was in college out-of-state, she didn't visit often. Now that she is a bit further away I expect we will only see her once or twice a year. Susan and I have a lot of work to do, redecorating, straightening up our basement, and quite a bit of yard work. Even though it is just the two of us now, three counting our furry companion, we don't really miss our daughters. Them going to college slowly weaned us from their presence, so it wasn't a big shock once they moved away. We do plan to travel more, but we have quite a few bills that need to get paid first.

In our case, getting back to normal just means dealing with the same issues everyone else has, without the added complication of transition-related activities. Since women routinely use laser and electrolysis services, I don't see that as anything out of the ordinary. Transition was an amazing, frightening, and life-changing experience, but now it's time to get back to living a normal life.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: May 20, 2020, 07:46:26 pm »
I had another electrolysis session today. It was supposed to be for two hours, but the customer after me canceled, so Kris said we could go for three hours. Kris started with my bikini area, went over the areas she had treated Monday (stomach, chest, neck) looking for strays, then did my face (what wasn't covered by a mask), ears, eyebrows, and underarms. After 2.5 hours she was done. This was a first, Kris had never run out of areas to treat before the end of a session! I realize there will be many more electrolysis sessions in my future, but it was an indication that the frequency and duration of the sessions may soon begin to wind down.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: May 23, 2020, 07:31:37 pm »
Initially I was really concerned about the length of my hair, so I straightened it with a flat iron for about two years. It's long enough now that for the last few months I have been letting it do its own thing - curls! I think it looks a bit messy, but Susan likes it. I also decided to try contact lenses. I think the curls will stay, but I'm not sure about the contacts yet.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: June 02, 2020, 07:05:49 am »
Today is our wedding anniversary -- 36 Years! Just a few years ago I was certain that our marriage was over. After all the anger and rage Susan had put up with through the years, throwing my transition on top of the pile should have been the end, but she stayed. About two years ago I asked her why she has put up with me all these years, and she said 'because I love you.' In many ways I'm no longer the same person Susan married all those years ago. Thankfully, now I'm a better person, one who has found peace. Love -- the most powerful force in the universe.

Several months ago I decided to set up a Facebook account. Sometimes I post the same things here and there, but sometimes I don't. My Facebook posts rarely mention transitioning, because that is in my past. I do intend to keep posting here for a while. Hopefully it will help others see that life can get back to normal after transitioning. Our life together certainly isn't the same as it was before, it's better. Transitioning isn't the end, it's a new beginning.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: June 09, 2020, 06:19:11 am »
The white spots on my cape, and the white stuff on our lawn, are not the result of an exceptionally large flock of birds. Would you believe it's snowing at my house? That's right! June 9th 2020, and it's snowing at my house. We have lived here 14 years, and this is the first time we have seen snow in June.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: June 13, 2020, 05:46:52 pm »
Today I did something I had never done before. Something my parents never would have allowed when I was growing up. Today I washed my car... while wearing shorts and a sports bra. Susan didn't mind, the neighbors didn't care, and the world didn't come to an end. Small things like this, which most women take for granted, take me some time to get used to. There are many freedoms that women enjoy, and I am still exploring them, while slowly taking another step in my journey.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: June 15, 2020, 07:05:45 pm »
Quote from: steph2.0 on June 13, 2020, 06:57:23 pm

Yes! I rode my bike like that the other day (got some long looks from the guys on the trail) and mowed my lawn like that yesterday. It's so liberating. I'm proud of you, girl!!!

- Stephanie

Stephanie, I must admit that your Facebook photos helped push me along!

My electrologist, Kris, broke her wrist last week. She called me yesterday and said she wanted to go forward with our appointment so she could see if she could work with a cast on her left wrist (she is right-handed). I was her only client today, and she did a great job! We did keep the appointment to one hour. She said if her wrist still feels good, tomorrow we can have another one hour session. I told her not to over-do it though, because it could prolong her pain and lengthen the time she needs to heal.

Over the weekend Susan told me that one of our hose reels was broken. She said it squirted her every time she turned it on. While suppressing my laughter, I told her she never complained in the past when that happened with me! Think about it... and yes, Susan thought it was funny too!

Under the heading 'it didn't happen unless you took a photo', here is a photo with me and my cordless electric chainsaw! Susan asked me to take out an evergreen shrub which had outgrown the area it was in, and after all I have put her through, I usually do whatever Susan asks. I did change before putting the chainsaw to use -- jeans and a long sleeve shirt are much more appropriate clothing to wear while using a chainsaw.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: June 22, 2020, 11:43:41 am »
Celebrating Father's Day seems a bit odd, but it is who I am. Susan and I went out for lunch yesterday, the first time we have eaten out since February. It was an awesome day, so we ate outside on a patio table at Cheddar's. We had a beautiful view of the front range and Pikes Peak. After lunch we went to the firing range for an hour of practice, then headed off to Victoria's Secret, where I found a few items on sale that I wanted. We visited a few other stores before heading home. I made omelettes for supper. Both of my daughters called, and later in the evening I called my dad. In spite of everything going on in the world right now, it was a pretty good day. I also took a few photos...

Love always -- Jessica Rose

 

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: June 24, 2020, 11:16:42 am »
I had an electrolysis appointment Monday. Even with a cast on her wrist, in just two hours Kris was able to clear my stomach, chest, neck, face, and underarms. Hair growth in those areas is definitely slowing down.

It's a gorgeous day at our house. Temperature in the low 80's, light breeze, a few small clouds drifting by... perfect weather for a sundress! My parents would never have let me wear something like this when I was growing up...

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: July 04, 2020, 03:59:37 pm »
I had an electrolysis session last Monday, which I mentioned to one of my best friends. She told me to have fun. I replied 'Yes, getting my genitals electrocuted is always good for a few laughs.'  I think having a sense of humor about this really helps...

Today, Susan and I are going to a cookout with a few friends, this is the same family that bought my Monte Carlo a few months ago. We have known each other for a few years, and they have become really good friends. I decided to wear something colorful, a dress I bought just a few days before my mom passed away in February. It's interesting how an inexpensive dress can make me feel so pretty! I actually began to cry when I looked in the mirror, I still can't believe the person staring back from the mirror is me. I think Susan looks good too!

Love always -- Jessica Rose

 

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: July 07, 2020, 08:21:59 pm »
First, I need to thank those of you who have commented on my recent posts. We all need encouragement from time to time, and I sincerely appreciate your comments.

Softball tournaments have started up again in Colorado, and the Mountain States Tournament is this coming weekend. I plan to take as many photos as I can, while Susan visits with Debi and Tia in Loveland. Of course, I plan to spend some time with them as well once the games are over for the day.

Monday I had another two-hour electrolysis appointment. After Kris had cleaned up all the usual areas, she asked if there was anyplace else needing work. I had a few stray hairs near my ankles, so she went after them. The electrolysis machine has eight power levels, and Kris usually sets it on level '4' for general use, level '3' for my upper lip, and level '2' for the area near my clitoris. I never would have guessed that electrolysis on my ankles would have been so excruciatingly painful, significantly worse than upper lip work. Even on level '1' it was nearly intolerable. We made it through, but I am not looking forward to clearing that area again. Luckily HRT has taken care of the hair I used to have on my toes.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Jessica_Rose]

« on: July 10, 2020, 09:34:55 am »
Alas, I was never very good at most sports -- always the last one picked for teams in school. When our youngest daughter played softball in high school, I took photos at her first game. I noticed that no one else was taking photos, so I started taking photos of everyone on the team. I took photos at every game. At the end of the season, I gave everyone DVDs containing all of the photos. When our daughter joined a club team, I took photos for them as well. Even though our daughter graduated high school five years ago, I have continued taking game photos. This will be my 9th year taking photos for the high school, and my 6th year for the club team. I have upgraded my cameras and lenses a few times, and now I load the photos onto flash drives instead of DVDs. I'm not sure how much longer I will be doing it because it does take a lot of time, but it is something I enjoy.

I always delete the photos with player errors. If a ball bounces out of a glove or a player strikes out, I am the only one who sees those photos. We all make mistakes during our lives, and I want the photos to remind the players of their successes.

Love always -- Jessica Rose