Jessica's Rose Garden

[KathyLauren]

That's exciting, Jessica!  Good luck with all the bureaucratic stuff!

I understand the frustration of having to hold off on telling everyone, but the time will fly by.

[Jessica_Rose]

I realize this is rather mundane, but I never really thought much about it before. For over 33 years our return address labels have always read 'John & Susan'. My name has always been first. I just ordered some new labels, and to give my wife some of the long overdue respect she rightfully deserves the labels will read 'Susan & Jessica Rose'.

[Bari Jo]

I realize this is rather mundane, but I never really thought much about it before. For over 33 years our return address labels have always read 'John & Susan'. My name has always been first. I just ordered some new labels, and to give my wife some of the long overdue respect she rightfully deserves the labels will read 'Susan & Jessica Rose'.

that's not mundane, that's awesome!

Bari Jo

[Laurie]

I think it is a sweet gesture Kelly Jessica.

[Jessica_Rose]

Who is Kelly, and how did she get into my garden!?!? 

Well, it is a public garden. Everyone is welcome to drop by and spend as much time as they like.

[Jessica_Rose]

I did not sleep much last night, maybe it was the thought of waking up to this legal notice in the morning paper:

In the Matter of the Petition of Adult: John Richard XXXXXX For a Change of Name to: Jessica Rose XXXXXX. Public notice is given on January 30, 2018 that a Petition for a Change of Name of an Adult has been filed with the County Court. The Petition requests that the name of: John Richard XXXXXX be changed to: Jessica Rose XXXXXX.'

I personally do not know anyone who has ever done this. I have no frame of reference. I just feel empty and somewhat lost. I look back at all of the damage along the road John travelled and I know taking that left turn a year ago was the right decision, I do not regret it for one second. It is like I am in a foreign land without a map, and my GPS has failed. There are no road signs to tell me where to go, and even if there were I do not know the language. Mentally I know the steps I still need to take, but emotionally I am lost.

[bobbisue]

       Congratulations on taking this road less traveled it is bumpy there are no signs and a lot of unexpected curves but the sun does shine and the birds sing it is a truly wonderful path

     bobbisue

[Jessica_Rose]

Just got back from another shopping trip with my wife. We went to California Pizza Kitchen for lunch, then wandered around an auction house for about 3 hours before hitting Target. I did catch one or two people checking me out, but none of them made any comments or odd facial expressions that I noticed.

I occasionally use PortraitPro Studio software to clean up photos. It uses facial recognition to decide if the face being edited is male, female, boy, or girl. I just tried it on this photo (I did not make any edits), and it decided I am a female. Maybe I really am getting closer than I think.

[Laurie]

Who is Kelly, and how did she get into my garden!?!? 

Well, it is a public garden. Everyone is welcome to drop by and spend as much time as they like.

ARRRRRG  Must have been another sometimers attack Jessica. I fixed it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Jessica_Rose]

I had some other errands to run, but I wanted to make a quick announcement earlier today. I am now legally Jessica Rose:

https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,233861.msg2086812.html#msg2086812

As Paul Harvey used to say -- and now, here's the rest of the story...

My introductory post to Susan's on 28 March 2017 started off with this:

Hello everyone. My name is Jessica Rose, or at least that is what I hope it will be in a few years.

Well, I blew that timeline. When submitted that post I as nervous and as scared as just about everyone else. I had started HRT only a few days earlier, and I was uncertain and even frightened of my future. As time passed I found many posts on Susan's that helped me understand more about myself, some posts provided encouragement, and others instilled confidence. I could not have made it this far so quickly without the help of this community. Thank you.

When the day started I was not sure what would happen. My legal notice for the name change was supposed to be published Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. The legal requirement is for three publish dates within 20 days. It was in the paper on Saturday, but not Sunday or Monday. I called the paper as soon as their office opened to find out what happened. Apparently their system 'kicked out' my notice after the first day. I was assured they would fix it and run the notice on Tuesday and Wednesday. I was concerned about the looming government shutdown set for 8 February, so I asked about my affidavit which was required to show proof of publication. They replied 'Oh, we already printed it out. You can pick it up anytime'. Yea! Next stop, County Court.

I drove to the courthouse and found a park directly in front of the building. Amazing. Went down to the Clerks office and had to wait in line for about 10 minutes. I finally got to the counter and handed them the affidavit. Everything was in order, so the gave me a certified copy of the 'Final Decree'. I asked if I could get more than one.

Clerk: Yes, but they are $20 each and you may only need one.
Me: I would like five copies.
Clerk: You can always come down to the Courthouse and get another.
Me: You don't understand how important this is to me. I would like five copies please.
Clerk: OK.

With my five copies of the court order for my new name in hand I went to the Social Security Office. After a wait of only two hours or so it was finally my turn. I gave the clerk my paperwork, including the one for my gender marker...

Clerk: I'll need to check with my supervisor. I have never done a gender change before.
Me: Take your time. This is my first one too!

After about 10 minutes it was done. How did I celebrate? I went to my electrolysis appointment, told the electrologist the good news, then she began working on my upper lip. I guess that will make it a bit more memorable.

I was dressed as Jessica all day, and no one bothered me. Although I could have gone as John, it seemed a more fitting task for Jessica. One older lady complimented me on my lipstick and asked about my 'Find Joy in the Journey' bracelet.

My next stop? Tomorrow I plan to update my driver's license.

[Laurie]

 Wonderful day Jessica, Just wonderful. Congratulations!

Big Hug Girl!
   Laurie

[Jessica]

I'm so happy for you Jessica Rose!

[Jessica_Rose]

I went to a salon for the first time in my life today. The lady who helped me was really nice. She asked me if I fixed my hair at home, I said "well I certainly don't do it at work." We were laughing off and on throughout the appointment. Eyebrow waxing was a picnic compared to laser and electrolysis. She liked my curly hair and tried to make the most of what was there. I'm not sure about the look. I have another appointment with her on the 17th to fix up my eyebrows and whatever else she suggests. Unless something comes up Jessica's first day at work will be 19 Feb.

After my salon appointment I went to the DMV. Only had to wait an hour or so. The clerks were really nice to me and they both said they liked my name. Within a week or two I should have my new license - Name: Jessica Rose   Sex: F (Personally I always thought 'Sex' should be a yes/no option).

What do you think of this look for me? I do plan to let it grow out. The last haircut I had was a #2 on the sides and finger width on the top!

[Laurie]

Okay Jessica,

  The post that should have been here, is that I think it great you just made it into a beauty salon. Not to mention the progress you have been making on your name changes. Both are things I have yet to do.
  As far as the new picture goes It is good but not much of a change from your avatar but hey hun more changes are still to come as your hair grows and the HRT does it's thing to you. I could not see your brows because the glasses cover them like mine do. It's a sad fact most of our eye efforts is not seen well for us who wear them.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Jessica_Rose]

I had set my coming out day at work for 16 Feb. Yesterday my manager asked if I could push it out a week, I said 'no'. He agreed to leave the date for the 16th. Today I sent his this note to explain my answer:

For over forty years I had to hide my true self from the world. For the last year I have had to hide the journey I was taking. Now I have finally reached the goal I have had for most of my life. I have finally, legally, become Jessica Rose.

What were the first words I heard when I got to work?
'Good morning, John.'

I can't tell anyone about the incredible turn my life has taken. I can't tell them about my journey to become Jessica Rose. I can't celebrate finally becoming Jessica Rose. Everyone I work with, my friends, my neighbors and most of my family only know me as 'John'. He is gone, but his ghost still haunts me because no one knows about Jessica. I have done something few people will ever do, but no one knows and I can't tell them.

For someone who has transitioned one of the most hurtful things others can do is to use their old 'dead' name. I am Jessica, but everyone still calls me 'John' and I can't correct them. Having to deal with this until 16 Feb will be incredibly difficult emotionally, waiting any longer is simply not possible.

I decided to celebrate anyway. I went out and bought some donuts and cookies for my co-workers, and a bouquet of flowers for myself. Of course my co-works asked what the occasion was, I just said "It's Wednesday!" and I mentioned the flowers were for a friend of mine. Of course only one of them knew what I was really celebrating, but it still put me in a much better mood. I visited the men's room later and realized that according to my new driver's license I was now in the wrong restroom! That thought also put a smile on my face.

[Jessica_Rose]

I contacted my bank yesterday and sent them a copy of my name change decree and my new driver's license. The name change is beginning to percolate through their systems. I logged on earlier today and the banner now has 'Jessica' on it!

After coordinating with my manager and HR my coming out date at work is set for the afternoon of 16 Feb! I also realized that since I got my updated license on Tuesday that I have been using the wrong restroom! That will also come to an end on 16 Feb.

I Talked to my younger daughter today and told her about my name change and driver's license. She seemed to be genuinely happy for me.

[Laurie]

Hi Jessica,

  Oh girl, I think I can understand your frustration of your last two posts. I am no where near where you are now. I am not even able to begin a name change due to some unfortunate circumstances. I know I need to resolve them before I can even put in the paperwork. But I think you situation is even worse with having it legally changed and not be able to use it. That sucks. But Hun you only need to wait a few more days and your dream will happen. It is hard sure, but not insurmountable. You will do it, that you can be sure of. You are Jessica Rose ...now and everyday here after.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Jessica_Rose]

Today I received my first piece of mail addressed to Jessica Rose - my new Social Security card! I requested the updated card on 5 Feb, so I think that was pretty fast.

[Bari Jo]

Nice!  What a great first piece of mail that is too!

Bari Jo

[Jessica_Rose]

Bari Jo, I like your new photo!

I just had a long IM chat with my bank. My new credit card is now on the way and I have my new 'proof of insurance' cards! During the chat with the insurance person she posed a question:

Maria V.: 6:02 AM
I appreciate the opportunity to assist you. Please allow me 2 minutes to access your account. While I access your account, please share with me what has you changing your name on your account?

JESSICA ROSE: 6:03 AM
I am transitioning.

JESSICA ROSE: 6:05 AM
I have had a long battle with anger caused by hiding my true self. Transitioning has allowed me to find peace.   

MARIA V.: 6:06 AM
That is great!

JESSICA ROSE: 6:06 AM
It is not easy, and very few people truly understand, but my anger is gone.   

MARIA V.: 6:07 AM
Great and it's good for your health not to be so angry!.

JESSICA ROSE: 6:08 AM
Yes. I got tired of punching holes in walls and beating up innocent file cabinets.

Both of the representatives I worked with were great, no issues at all, and they never referred to me by my dead name.