Thanks Danielle, at least I know one person is reading this! I would love to visit Alaska sometime, I find remote wilderness areas exceptionally beautiful. Video is nice for many occasions, but I have also always preferred still photos. Stills are much easier to share and they make great prints if you actually want one on a desk or wall.
My younger daughter (Kimberly) is also supportive, and she has at least two friends I have met who are now transitioning, one MTF and one FTM. It will be interesting to see her reaction when she finally meets me. Kimberly has seen at least one photo of Jessica Rose via email, but unfortunately she is not big on communication and she has never mentioned it. We don't hear from her as often as we would like, but she is becoming independent, and she is becoming herself. She plans to do some research work for her college over the Summer, but since that is only part-time work she is also looking for another job. She says she wants to start earning more, and she plans to cover all of her expenses over the Summer. How can I complain about that?
I had my annual check-up today, and I had no complaints. Even after battling horrendous traffic and sitting in the exam room wearing one of those oh-so-stylish exam gowns for 30 minutes, my smile never faded. It must have been infectious because my doctor caught it within minutes of entering the room. She suggested I start taking some Vitamin D and fish oil supplements, and she said I should plan on having a mammogram soon. In an odd way that made me happy! She mentioned that she was glad I was her first patient today, because the first patient usually sets the tone for the day and seeing how happy I was had made her happy too!
Although I expected some physical changes, the mental changes for me have been more profound than I ever expected. They come slowly, imperceptibly at first, but eventually you begin to feel them. My anger has faded into a distant unpleasant memory, and a new world of emotions that I barely knew existed has now opened. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I wonder what my life would have been like if I had been born as a cis female, and a feeling of anguish comes over me. I realize that I will never know who I could have been, but at least I finally know who I am now, and I can live the rest of my life as my true self. The anguish quickly turns to a feeling of satisfaction with who I have become, and then the smile returns. No matter what the weather, I can now find beauty and happiness in every day.
