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Jessica's Rose Garden

Started by Jessica_Rose, January 17, 2018, 08:38:29 PM

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Michelle_P

Jessica, that failure on the bottom of the 'W' stitches is pretty common.  I've certainly seen it before!  The tisssue cannot be re-stitched, but keeping the area clean, using your antibiotic ointment, will allow it to heal well.  The body is amazingly good at this.   At the 6 month point you'll have a whitish line there, and at a year even this will be fading.  Yes, it will be detectable by someone looking for it, but not terribly obvious.

I had an opening on one leg of the incision.  It's a very faint mark 16 months later.  I helped one girl who pushed too hard after GCS and ripped open the entire lower 'W' into the abdominal cavity, requiring hospitalization for a month.  Five months later it's a narrow whitish strip, largely covered by hair growth.  (It looks worse to her than to others, as she knows where to look with a bright light and mirror.  Note:  Don't let strangers wave bright lights around your uncovered nether regions!)

The human body has an amazing capacity to heal.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Donica

I'm so sorry to hear about Carl's passing Jessica. He is in a better place and he's happy now. My deepest condolences.
Rebirth 06/09/2017. HRT 08/22/2017. RLE 07/14/2018. Name and Gender change 10/19/2018. FFS 09/06/2019. GCS 05/26/2021.
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Jessica_Rose

Yesterday, once our power was restored during the blizzard, I sent some photos of the perineal area for Dr. Ley to review. Apparently she has no concerns and says the healing looks great. Based on my experience it freaks me out! Dr. Ley said she would clean things up when I return for my labiaplasty in late July.

This morning I stepped up to the #2 dilator. I started with #1 for 5 minutes at full depth, moved to the #2 tapered for 5 minutes, then went to #2 at full depth for 15 minutes. It was uncomfortable, but not as bad as the first few dilations after surgery. Since I was able to keep my depth, I skipped the #1 dilator for the next sessions and did not have any issues. It is definitely a tight fit, and I have to remain calm or it becomes a bit painful.
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
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mm

Sound like you are doing great now with your dilating, just don't go so fast you hurt yourself in some way. 
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LizK

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 14, 2019, 08:10:45 PM
Yesterday, once our power was restored during the blizzard, I sent some photos of the perineal area for Dr. Ley to review. Apparently she has no concerns and says the healing looks great. Based on my experience it freaks me out! Dr. Ley said she would clean things up when I return for my labiaplasty in late July.

This morning I stepped up to the #2 dilator. I started with #1 for 5 minutes at full depth, moved to the #2 tapered for 5 minutes, then went to #2 at full depth for 15 minutes. It was uncomfortable, but not as bad as the first few dilations after surgery. Since I was able to keep my depth, I skipped the #1 dilator for the next sessions and did not have any issues. It is definitely a tight fit, and I have to remain calm or it becomes a bit painful.

Moving up dilators can be a daunting experience and it sounds like you are doing really well. Trying to keep relaxed can be easier said than done.  Congrats on the progress its always nice to get feedback about your healing.
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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Laurie

My condolences Jessica. I was saddened to hear of Carl's passing. Knowing that someone is going to pass from this life does not make that passing any easier. You can usually take some solace in knowing that their long struggles are now ended. Though the body has given up, the spirit of the loved one lives on in the hearts of all they touched in life. Good or ill thet live on in memories. Again I am sorry for your loss and sorry for being tardy in expressing my condolences.

Hugs for both you, Susan, and your girls.
   Laurie
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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Jessica_Rose

Thanks Laurie. My parents were surprised at how many people were at the funeral. Carl could be hard to get along with, but he was loyal to his friends. I wish I could have attended the funeral, but my attendance could have been disruptive -- not everyone would have been happy to see me.

I guess I am getting used to dilating now, I fell asleep in the middle of my last session! I also got some good news today, my short term disability was extended through 5 April. This means I will continue getting full pay while recovering and my first day back to work will be 8 April.
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
  • skype:Jessica_Rose?call
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mm

Good to hear you are fine until you go back on April.  You must be comfortable with dilating to fall a sleep while doing it.
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Jessica_Rose

Initially dilating was very uncomfortable. Although not yet pleasurable, it is no longer something I would rather avoid.

I got some great news from Dr. Ley today. I sent in photos of my breasts for review and her response was:

'...purchase an underwire bra, no padding, no push up. Wear the bra on its own during the day and put on the bando with the bra in the evenings for a few hours, for one month. You do not need to sleep with the bando.'

The bando was really uncomfortable, I had been wearing it 24/7 since my surgery. Being able to go without it for most of the day feels awesome! I stopped by Target and tried on some bras this afternoon. I tried 38C and 38D, and the ones which seemed to fit best were 38D! I don't know how much of my bra size is still related to swelling, so I only bought three for now.

I also spoke with a lawyer in Texas who is familiar with the process to change birth certificates. Apparently for the last year or so Texas has been accepting court orders from other states to change the name and gender on birth certificates! The court order must contain very specific language, and the lawyer provided me with the phrases which must be in the court order. Texas also now issues NEW birth certificates, not amended ones. The old birth certificate will become 'sealed' once the new certificate is issued.
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
  • skype:Jessica_Rose?call
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steph2.0

Congratulations on it all, Jessica! And the BC thing is wonderful. Hopefully that will protect you in the future if the worst comes to be with HHS's definition of gender. I'm just counting the days until I can get that letter and send the paperwork off to Michigan.

All the best, girlfriend!

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019
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Jessica_Rose

Thanks @Steph2.0 !

I had an appointment with my HRT doctor today. I was hoping to surprise her, but apparently the Meltzer Clinic uses the same software as my HRT doctor and she had seen the updates already! My doctor checked out the work top and bottom and said Dr. Ley did a great job. She thought the breast implant size was perfect for my frame and mentioned that healing down below was going extremely well. The results from my hormone test should be back within a few days. I expect we will need to modify my estradiol regimen now that the evil twins are gone. My doctor told me to set up an appointment with her to remove any remaining stitches after another three or four weeks.

I asked one of the Meltzer Clinic nurses if my current breast size would change as time passes. She said the majority of the swelling is gone and although the shape may change some as they drop into place, the size should not change. On that news I bought a few more bras on the way home from my medical appointment.

Now that pain and discomfort are no longer constant my smile is beginning to return, along with intermittent episodes of joy. I don't know what the future holds, but every day now is a little brighter than the last.
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
  • skype:Jessica_Rose?call
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ChrissyRyan

Jessica Rose,


I always wish you the best, and I admire you greatly.

Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.
Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Be brave, be strong.  Try a little kindness.  I am a brown eyed brunette. 
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LizK

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on March 20, 2019, 08:35:56 PM
......

Now that pain and discomfort are no longer constant my smile is beginning to return, along with intermittent episodes of joy. I don't know what the future holds, but every day now is a little brighter than the last.

Great to hear you are starting to feel really good and can appreciate all the changes you have been through. Its a bit hard to do when you aren't feeling the best. As the song goes

"Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades"
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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Jessica_Rose

Today is my two year HRT anniversary!

When I started this journey I never dreamed I would make it this far this fast. Two years is a long time, but looking back it seems to have passed quickly. It has been an incredible journey. I have made many new friends and even added a few family members -- you know who you are! In just two years I changed my life, I am literally not the same person who started this journey. I am still recovering from surgery, but every day is better than the last, and I find a little more joy each day. My thanks to all of those who have given me advice and support. Not only did you help save my life, you also helped me find peace.
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
  • skype:Jessica_Rose?call
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KathyLauren

Wow, you have certainly covered a lot of ground in two years!  Congratulations on your anniversary!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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LizK

Look at you now with all your success and milestones...Congratulations  :icon_birthday: for your HRT 2 years
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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Donica

Congratulations on two years of HRT Jessica! Yes indeed! Look how far you have come girl.

Hugs.
Rebirth 06/09/2017. HRT 08/22/2017. RLE 07/14/2018. Name and Gender change 10/19/2018. FFS 09/06/2019. GCS 05/26/2021.
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Jessica_Rose

Thanks @KathyLauren , @LizK , and @Donica !

This morning I moved up to the #3 dilator (ouch). Even though I started with the tapered #3 it was a bit of a stretch, but amazingly I was able to reach full depth (around 6.25 inches). There was a drop or two of blood from near the opening where I am healing, but it stopped immediately once I removed the dilator. According to my schedule I can now drop down to two dilation sessions each day. Since I am still on a leave of absence I will probably do at least three sessions a day for a week or so until I get used to the #3.

Yesterday I noticed that sitting had finally become comfortable again. The swelling on my labia has also gone down quite a bit, and I no longer have a burning sensation while walking. Susan and I walked around the neighborhood for nearly an hour yesterday. Tonight I may skip the ice pack that I have been sleeping with every night since surgery. I still have stitches around my 'cactoris', and they are quite stubborn. If they hang on for another three weeks my local physician said she would remove them for me.

My breast implants are still a bit high, but they settling into place nicely. The tape over the incisions is hanging on, I was told to let it fall off on its own so I will try to be patient. The implants do come with a standard warranty, but I decided to register for the additional warranty as well. An extra $300 for a 10 year warranty sounds reasonable.

I have spent the last week or so going through my clothes. I am within 5lbs of my pre-surgery weight, but I found quite a few items which no longer fit. I expected some tops and dresses would no longer work out (mainly arm openings which are now too small), but I also found some skirts which don't fit either. It seems my hips are about an inch wider than they used to be. Susan quickly raided my discard pile and picked out some clothes which fit her. The rest will go to my electrologist this afternoon, she passes them around to other transgender clients.
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
  • skype:Jessica_Rose?call
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Jessica_Rose

This morning the most annoying suture of all finally came out. It was dead center on my clitoris and seemed to snag on everything! Hopefully that is a sign the remaining sutures will be coming out soon. The large piece of tape over my right nipple also came off this morning. The tape over my left nipple is still hanging on, but I may help it fall off within the next day or two. The scars just below my nipples are barely noticeable, and I expect they will continue to fade.

One more bit of good news is that I had been wearing size 10 jeans since my surgery, I had been afraid of wearing snug jeans due to the swelling I experienced. Today I decided to wear my usual size 8, and so far I have not had any issues. I can definitely tell my jeans fit better now.
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
  • skype:Jessica_Rose?call
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ChrissyRyan

Jessica Rose,


I hope your good news keeps on rolling in, day by day, every day.   :)


Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.
Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Be brave, be strong.  Try a little kindness.  I am a brown eyed brunette. 
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