How do you know when you genuinely have fallen in love with someone?

[MeTony]

I mean I feel stupid for asking.....

There are no stupid questions.

If you are unsure and don't have the answer yourself, you can't answer your question and need input from other people.

[BJ0909]

At this point......all I have done is cry.....because when he and I see each other.....he does not speak to me.....he does not look at me....and it just angers me.....it makes me cry....he would smile at me all of the time....he would look at me all of the time.....ugh Im tearing up as I write this....

[BJ0909]

I just have been feeling sad lately...

[MeTony]

I believe you feel rejected, hurt and angry because he ignores you.

I think you miss him too.

There is nothing wrong with grief when you lose someone you love. Having grief is not always over dead people or pets. You can have grief over missing friends or breakup with loved ones.

Let yourself be angry and sad. That is how you move on.


Tony

[SonadoraXVX]

BJ0909,

You may be feeling unreciprocated/unrequited love, meaning the other person does not feel the same way as you and it can potentially set you up for a lot of emotional hurt. Yes, understand you do feel for him, but at the same time, understand the other person can use you, if he does not feel and is caring towards your needs.

Been though it many times as guy, some infatuation of course, but now on female hormones, I am super careful and only allow myself to feel when others feel(ie. put my heart on my sleeve), or else, bah, no matter if their king or queen of the universe.

I'm in a loving relationship with my girlfriend of over 7 years now, others wonder, what the hell, do I see in her, but as long as we both love and understand each other, its all that matters in the world.

Both of you have to be mindful of each other's feelings and wants, or else its no go.

[BJ0909]

See from all of this I dont feel motivated to move on......because its like I dont want him to forget about me? All I have done is cried.

[BJ0909]

I am trying to move on.....but its like my heart won't let me? Its like I don't want him to forget me...we have been through so much together....

[MeTony]

I am trying to move on.....but its like my heart won't let me? Its like I don't want him to forget me...we have been through so much together....

I know the feeling. My very best friend moved from the east coast to the west coast when I was a kid. I thought I'd never have friends again. I was so devastated.

We never saw each other again. But I got new friends.

Grief over a lost friend or love comes in waves. Strong feelings flooding you. Then it passes for a while and you can relaxe. Then it floods again. But in time the waves become smaller and softer. 

Let yourself be sad. Let yourself be angry.

You can not change him. If he does not want to talk to you, you can't force him.

Make peace with yourself and let yourself be sad and angry. It will pass. He might not be forgotten, but it won't hurt as much.


Tony

[SonadoraXVX]

It takes time, its not something you can do emotionally, its something you do physically.


If you do the physical motions to move on in daily life, eventually your heart will follow.

Where the body goes, eventually the heart goes, its called out of sight, out of mind.

[BJ0909]

All of this is my fault......feeling as if I dont love or care about him......I pushed him away.......and now he doesnt even talk to me anymore......and I cry...

[DawnOday]

I am trying to move on.....but its like my heart won't let me? Its like I don't want him to forget me...we have been through so much together....

Your heart is a muscle my dear. Nothing more , nothing less. It's your psyche that is being affected. As they say. "It's all in my head" It's hard, but i can promise you if you do not move on you will never recover. Took me forty years. Problem is I got remarried 35 years ago. Unfortunately my wife was always in competition with my ex. and the ex won every time. I now realize my current wife is my rock, my anchor and I am so lucky to have discovered that. Why she is still with me is beyond comprehension other than she says she loves me.

[BJ0909]

I think for me......it is knowing in my heart that I either A. fell in love with him at some point in my life.... and B. I may love him now but I may have to move on...I am trying to feel this in my heart.....just knowing I have experienced love. The things I know about him is......he wiggles his nose when he is concentrating. His smile...the way he rotates back in forth when he is waiting.....he tends to rock back and forth when a catchy song comes on....he likes a lot of cream and sugar in his coffee.....when he looks at you.....he really looks at you....when he listens to you....he really listens to you..

[BJ0909]

If it matters...

[jennie.ayana]

When you love someone, it makes you feel better not worse.
When you're in love, you'd want to be with them all the time.
When you love someone, you'd let them be their own self...even if that means they're away from you.
When you're in love with someone, you'd want to be with them all the time

When you love someone, they're the last person you think about before you go to sleep, and the first that comes to your mind when you wake up.

When you're in love with someone, you'd want to be happy with them.

When you love someone, you want nothing more than their being happy.

When you are in love, it passes with time.

When you love, it lasts and grows stronger as time passes.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk

[SonadoraXVX]

I don't think the person pined for you as much as you pine for him, or else he would've forgiven your transgression(s) and made up, even if its slow.

Matters of the heart, are the most difficult to deal with, because your left you with the "What if's?", and your heart on your sleeve, but in reailty, it was not meant to be, because it's not.

Yea, I fudged up a relationship or two, social grenaded it, because I felt I did not measure up, my fault really, but in reality it was not meant to be.

My past man's perspective

[BJ0909]

I don't think the person pined for you as much as you pine for him, or else he would've forgiven your transgression(s) and made up, even if its slow.

Matters of the heart, are the most difficult to deal with, because your left you with the "What if's?", and your heart on your sleeve, but in reailty, it was not meant to be, because it's not.

Yea, I fudged up a relationship or two, social grenaded it, because I felt I did not measure up, my fault really, but in reality it was not meant to be.

My past man's perspective

I am sorry.

[SonadoraXVX]

Nah, don't be. All my failed relationships were due in some way or the other, because of my gender insecurities. I just needed somebody who would accept me, which I did find. It takes time.

[AgentVermont052]

Let me preface my reply by saying I haven't told this girl I have feelings for her yet. Hopefully one day though.

We met through Instagram a couple years ago. She and I loved the same video games and loved the same characters. We of course have our own interests and of course love sharing these with each other even though it may not be our thing.

She is one of the very very few (less than 5) who didn't question me when I came out as pan, grey ace, or when I began questioning my gender identity. With every time I felt I had a label to describe my identity, she whole heartedly accepted that and addressed me how I wanted. She put in her own effort to educate herself on my sexuality and identity but always knew she could ask me questions and I'd be honest and open with her.

We stopped talking for a long time when I took a break from social media. But we've been talking again and it reminded me why I care about her so much.

I can 100% share my problems and issues with her, knowing she understands and would never judge me.

She is the only person in the world that I'd be comfortable standing nude in front of before surgery, before hormones, before transitioning, and I'd be 100% comfortable.

She is the person I would go around to strangers and be like "This is my girlfriend M. I love her. She's amazing. We love video games. And I want to go everywhere with her. I want to love her forever."
We have actually discussed moving in together before once she finishes school to be a paramedic. How we both want to move out of our home states and start a new life together.

We joke about spending our old age together in a nursing home being the crazy old people yelling about stuff from when we were younger.

I had a boyfriend before I came out. We were together for 2.5 years before I left him. I deeply cared for him. But I have never, ever, felt as strongly for someone as I do for my friend.

I just hope one day I can tell her all this.

[natalie.ashlyne]

To me I do believe in love at first sight. I believe love is a feeling you get when you see or hear someone love is when you just want to hear the person breath and it makes you smile. Love is when you worry about the person all the time they are always on your mind love is when you will do anything for that one person that you would not do for any one else love is just thinking about the person and makes you smile love is willing to die for someone so they can live. I may be wrong but that is how I see love.