Things to prepare for (early stages)

[Torchickens]

Hi!

So hopefully soon my counselling will begin, my feelings of self-doubt in relation to the gender I see myself as (trans female) have been tough but things are getting better and I'm trying my hardest to stay strong.

What kind of things may I expect in relation to both living the role as female in public and potentially taking HRT? I want to present myself as a woman (but a little nervous of doing that re: wearing women's clothes before HRT).

I acknowledge often people aren't accepting, and it's like on my Nintendo 3DS I use a female avatar; an associate who I interacted with on Streetpass Mii Plaza (a selection of minigames with the avatars you meet with your 3DS in Sleep Mode, encouraging fitness) didn't know and I felt some insecurity to tell them I identify as trans. (I know I could have said it was my mum's Mii but I can't stand not telling the truth). Thankfully they were accepting.

What kinds of prejudice should I look out for?

What health issues should I look into? (I think I remember osteoporosis being talked about as an issue)

Which strategies help you secure well-being?

Many thanks. ^^

(Hope this is the right place to post, please move if it's not)

[Mendi]

I think it really depends on your self-confidence, and to some extend how you pass. I for example went full time before hrt (just and just) and to be honest, I still don't know how I look, but I've had no bad experience at all, not a single one.

Of course there has been stares, but then again I cannot really say what they are staring?

I cannot wear make-up at work, as I'm a nurse. So in my work I also meet constantly new people and as I'm moving around different hospitals and wards, I also meet constantly new collegues and doctors and patients and relatives. Nobody hasn't said anything bad to me.

I know that to some extend I can give credit to the fact, that I'm quite short and a bit androgyn looking and I got my hair dyed and cut nicely.

But still the biggest thing I think is the fact, that to everyone situation I go with new people, I'm not apologizing myself. I state who I am and that's it. I think self-confidence is as important as passing itself and self-confidence is what creates the possibility of even passing.

[Shy]

I've been nearly a year full time, pre hrt. To be honest the only bad reaction I have ever had is not because i'm tansgender but was a sexist comment because i'm a woman. That was a real shock to me.
Most of the anxiety I suffer is of my own making and the dreaded 'what if'. But that's me, we are all different and live in different social groups that we have to navigate.

So best advice, be yourself, find a place where your comfortable. My social transition started out slowly, to give people in my community a chance to get used to me. I got the odd questioning and curiosity, but I never resorted to justifying my existence. I just say 'i'm just me' and that seems to be enough for people.

I never tried to stand out, just to present like any other woman in my age group, because I am any other woman in my age group.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

[kaitylynn]

I have found over time that I have developed "blinders"...I really do not notice most of the attention that I get.  I began transition in earnest three years ago with therapy only.  A few years ago I started HRT and finally fully socially transitioned in October of 2016.  As HRT did its job, there were some really strange and awkward moments while individuals attempted to "figure it out", but they led to no more than strange looks and parting.  Eventually, those dissipated and now things are as they should be.

I work "in the field" in a male dominated job role.  I do not wear makeup for the most part (just eyeliner and mascara) while working, but even I do not see the "old face" any longer, so I know my customers do not either.  The first time I received the comment, "You really do know what you are talking about" was an eye opener.  I knew then that I am perceived correctly and I was disappointed that my view was suspect for no other reason than I am a woman.  I now catch it a lot, but most men I work around are polite enough to keep it too themselves.  I single out men...women are happy to have a woman as the technician in their homes and most visits start and end with a hug and smiles.

Socially, I am always with my partner and often we are part of our troupe of girls.  We put up with the same crap women have endured for ages...catcalling, flirting and attempted pickups.  The only time I have been frightened is when a man was determined and not picking up any of the subtle (and not so subtle) hints that I wished to be left alone.  My friends explained that it is just part of being us and is the reason we travel in groups.

Best advice I can give, take advantage of your councilor!  They are there for you and mine has been an indispensable ally and confidant.  Mine has talked me out of many funky places my transition has led me too.  You will gain your footing, remember that no point is fixed and that it does get easier as time passes.  Enjoy the beginning moments as you only get to live them once!

[KathyLauren]

What kinds of prejudice should I look out for?

You don't really have to look for it.  If it is there, it will find you.  The reality is that, in most places, there is less prejudice and hate than in our fears.  Obviously, you want to consider how you will react if someone hassles you over bathroom use, or if someone denies you health care or a job.  But most people will leave you alone.

What health issues should I look into? (I think I remember osteoporosis being talked about as an issue)

Osteoporosis is a risk if you have no sex hormones.  So taking an anti-androgen without taking estrogen would be a problem.  But normally you will be on both, and, if your doctor is monitoring your levels properly, there is no more risk than for the general population.

Oral estrogen can put a strain on the liver.  For this reason, older trans women may be prescribed alternative methods of administration, such as injections or transdermal patches.  Your doctor will take this into consideration when prescribing.

Estrogen also increases the risk of blood clots.  For this reason, most surgeons want you to stop taking it prior to surgery.  But, to keep it in perspective, the risk is no higher than for cis women, who are not able to stop their estrogen.

The biggest health problem I have encountered is dyhydration and low blood pressure from spironolactone.  It's an inconvenience, nothing more.

Which strategies help you secure well-being?

The best advice I can give you is to own who you are.  If you are not self-confident, fake it until you are. 

Going about in public trying to hide from people and avoid attention actually attracts attention because it is not normal behaviour.  In public, act like you have every right to be where you are, because you do.  WHen you do that, you will blend in and people will accept you.

[Torchickens]

Thanks everyone.