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Do you think it's harder to get emotional support as a male?

Started by KarlMars, January 24, 2018, 03:08:24 PM

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KarlMars

That was one of my biggest worries is that it would be harder to get emotional support as a male. I already have supportive friends though.

Lady Sarah

When I was living as a male, nobody cared how I felt. So, to me, emotional support was a thing that just simply never existed.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016
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Kylo

There is an obvious difference in empathy people have for the sexes. However that's probably not going to be the case with people who are close to you.

Expect people to worry about you less as a man. That's safe to say. It's the flip side of being taken more seriously - you are expected to take care of yourself.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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KarlMars

Quote from: Lady Sarah on January 24, 2018, 03:16:36 PM
When I was living as a male, nobody cared how I felt. So, to me, emotional support was a thing that just simply never existed.

Were you around some queer and open minded people? Was it just that the people you knew were insensitive.

KarlMars

Quote from: Kylo on January 24, 2018, 03:21:39 PM
There is an obvious difference in empathy people have for the sexes. However that's probably not going to be the case with people who are close to you.

Expect people to worry about you less as a man. That's safe to say. It's the flip side of being taken more seriously - you are expected to take care of yourself.

Do you feel you need less emotional support as a male?

Kylo

I never needed much to begin with. But as a male I need even less.

Or should I say, testosterone contributed to confidence and not needing as much connection to others.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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Christy Lee

I think so yes,  But being born male its how males grow up i think, people just assume guys are emotionally stronger

Infact your expected to be the strong one 99% of the time, which can be a dysphoric thing for me 
Whose that girll?
ITS CHRISTY

02/05/2018
Started Therapy
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Torchickens

I think there is the stereotype of many males not opening up to their feelings. I think that's just some men though. While there is an element of truth to it, we mature. There are also people who identify as male and open up to their feelings.

Don't worry, having supportive friends is what matters which you already have and is good, and regardless of gender I'm sure a good friend will always be there to listen. :)
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Lady Sarah

Quote from: KarlMars on January 24, 2018, 03:23:19 PM
Do you feel you need less emotional support as a male?
I wasn't raised around queer folks, but met quite a few around the time I started transitioning. The big deal was that males were supposed to bottle up all their emotions, until it got to be too much, and they explode with rage. In today's day and age, we understand how that can be problematic. There have been enough school shootings caused by bottled up emotions.
Just about every time I had shown emotion, I got called a sissy. Well, I couldn't stop. Now, I don't have to worry about what the nincompoops think.
Best of luck to the guys that want to be emotional. Most of society will think less of you for it.

Sent from my NS-P10A7100 using Tapatalk

started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016
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KarlMars

Quote from: Kylo on January 24, 2018, 03:26:21 PM
I never needed much to begin with. But as a male I need even less.

Or should I say, testosterone contributed to confidence and not needing as much connection to others.

That sounds great, but I do believe emotional connections are still necessary. At least for me with my spiritual beliefs they are somewhat necessary regardless.

KarlMars

Quote from: Lady Sarah on January 24, 2018, 04:37:31 PM
I wasn't raised around queer folks, but met quite a few around the time I started transitioning. The big deal was that males were supposed to bottle up all their emotions, until it got to be too much, and they explode with rage. In today's day and age, we understand how that can be problematic. There have been enough school shootings caused by bottled up emotions.
Just about every time I had shown emotion, I got called a sissy. Well, I couldn't stop. Now, I don't have to worry about what the nincompoops think.
Best of luck to the guys that want to be emotional. Most of society will think less of you for it.

Sent from my NS-P10A7100 using Tapatalk

I'm sorry you were in an environment like that. It has a lot to do with the company we keep as well. Most of the people I hang around are other highly empathetic people. I hope you're getting the support you need now.

Lady Sarah

Quote from: KarlMars on January 24, 2018, 05:05:37 PM
I'm sorry you were in an environment like that. It has a lot to do with the company we keep as well. Most of the people I hang around are other highly empathetic people. I hope you're getting the support you need now.
With my husband and mother, I get plenty of support. And, being a woman, I'm allowed to show emotion.

Sent from my NS-P10A7100 using Tapatalk

started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016
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Kylo

Quote from: KarlMars on January 24, 2018, 05:04:12 PM
That sounds great, but I do believe emotional connections are still necessary. At least for me with my spiritual beliefs they are somewhat necessary regardless.

I agree with you.

I just don't want to rely on other people. Been let down at all the crucial moments to the point it can't be coincidence. It's just not tenable for me to be that vulnerable a second time. Especially now.

Spirituality can help with that. I remember you talking about your beliefs/community. You were struggling between them and doing what was right for yourself weren't you. If you're still going to put them before your transition, I hope they will actually give you the support you want. Not a good trade off otherwise.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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KarlMars

Quote from: Kylo on January 24, 2018, 10:32:32 PM
I agree with you.

I just don't want to rely on other people. Been let down at all the crucial moments to the point it can't be coincidence. It's just not tenable for me to be that vulnerable a second time. Especially now.

Spirituality can help with that. I remember you talking about your beliefs/community. You were struggling between them and doing what was right for yourself weren't you. If you're still going to put them before your transition, I hope they will actually give you the support you want. Not a good trade off otherwise.

A lot has changed since then. I have very accepting people now. I'm separated from negative people. I certainly don't depend on anyone anymore. I'm trying to get into college and one of my friends that's and LGBT advocate, and married to a transman who's my other friend teaches at the college. She said there's some LGBT Administrators and Staff at the college.