I'm afraid I'm about to alienate forever people whose good opinion is important to me. And yet I must speak.
Trans women need each other, especially those of us who don't pass. I am hyper-conscious of this.
It is wrong to force other people to act in ways they don't want to. If someone hates us because we're trans, that's unfortunate (and stupid); but that's their prerogative. Just as we believe we should be left alone to live our lives according to our best lights, so must we acknowledge the rights of others to regard us as hopelessly gender-confused people. We must allow other people the same rights we demand for ourselves.
It is so very seductive to think of medical care, etc., as a given, such that we should have the same access as cis people. What's lost in the analysis is that medical care is often a matter of paying a private individual for his services – and he must be accorded the same latitude we demand for ourselves.
Assume, for the sake of argument, that you are a baker. One day, someone comes into your shop wanting a cake with writing on it that makes trans people look like crazed, deluded people.What would your course be?After all, most – if not all – of us would regard a fundamentalist as crazed and deluded; but, in a free country, that's par for the course.
There is something profoundly, fundamentally, morally wrong with demanding that other people do our bidding,when it goes against their better judgment. Of course, it's stupid. Of course, it's inconvenient. But that's their right.
It is wrong to use "law" to force our neighbors to violate their consciences. It doesn't matter how stupid their ideas are; those are their ideas, and they have a rght to hold them and to respond accordingly.
We must take responsibility for our own lives, and situation. If one among us has a need – say, SRS surgery, or suicide – it is silly, stupid and deluded to demand that government provide. *We* should provide. *We* should care for our own. Should government help? Of course. But, if it chooses not to , where are our energies best spent?
I love and support my fellow trans women. Politics is not the answer.