Sarah's New World

[sarah1972]

I heard that some of my readers are questioning.... what happened to the orange workout gear? It is well alive...



A new time for me to go after work and it was packed. I was also accompanied by kiddo and her friend from Daycare along with one of the other hot moms from Daycare....

Today regular workout, tomorrow with my trainer and Friday Zumba... busy workout week.

Hope one day it will show.

Hugs, Sarah

@sarah1972 
Dear Sarah:   
I will fess up... I am one of the guilty ones asking you about your orange workout top. 
I recall that when you first wore it at the gym that you were very self-conscious and worrying that it made you stand out.....  I would think you are over that now ... is my assumption correct?   
Oh and the pinks sneakers look great on you and make the statement "I am a woman"  !!!!

That is terrific that you are making workout buddies too.... other hot moms... 

Thank you for posting your good-news update.... 
Hugs,
Danielle

Congratulations! Your post was reply #300 on this thread!!!!

I have to admit, the main reason for using other tops is our laundry schedule. I am back to going to the gym twice a week at least, often 3 times, so I need several outfits. I was nervous about sticking out initially, by now I am fine wearing them. As you know best, the gym is still a pretty complicated place for trans women - even more for pre-op.

I am still a bit nervous about the locker room and try to be in and out as quick as I can. Bathrooms are also only in the locker rooms, so in case I have to go (thanks Spiro) it is another trip. And then, of course, the shower problem. Usually, I postpone showers until I am back home but I have realized that on some days I do not even make it out of the gym before getting sucked back into work which makes finding a time to shower a bit tough. So if I use the showers, I keep my panties on until I am in the stall and either wrap or hold a towel in a way that it hides a bit.

One problem is that I am living in one of the many states without any protection for Gender Identity. I am not sure what the worst case scenario could be. I am registered as female at the gym but my ID still says male.

I am very lucky that I have not had any problems yet. I had one odd look once when staff announced male maintenance personnel will be entering the women's locker room. I saw one woman throwing a very questioning look towards me as if she thought I am the "male". I just continued what I was doing, finished changing and went my way. Usually, I can find a private corner but with some of my shifted schedule, I had to share my little nook which then, of course, requires communications to coordinate.

I am also wondering if my personal trainer has figured it out yet. I am sure he did, he should know enough about anatomy to detect it. I do tuck for the sessions, even though this can get really uncomfortable.

Anyways, I am getting more comfortable and of course, that allows me to maybe make some friends there one day.

Going with one of the other daycare moms is actually fun for the kids. They get additional play time and since they are best friends, they love it. I can give my wife an added 2 hours of "me" time and she usually surprises us with a nice dinner.
We had talked about going at the same time for a while, just never really managed to go. We don't exercise together, she is attending one of the very fancy extra classes which are not covered in my membership. I just do cardio workouts. With the weather as it is, it is hard finding activities for a very active 2-year-old, so this is a good compromise where we all benefit.

I still have to talk to the other mom and give her a heads up about my locker room use. She has seen me transitioning over the past 18 months our kids are in the same daycare. Last time I made sure that we would change at different times. She is super accepting so I don't expect any issues, this is mostly courtesy and to avoid any weirdness.

I had my second trainer-led session today and I hope I will not be sore for four days again.

Not much else to report in my life. Days have been OK but admittedly not as great as last week. Lots of things to think about and I ended with a few sleepless nights which then makes things worse.

I have to run, book travels for my next few work trips.

Hugs everyone!

Sarah

[sarah1972]

July 26 - Hunted Prey

I did steal today's tagline. It sure starts feeling this way recently...

I am sure you remember the creepy strange guy at the convenience store recently.

Now I had another advance, much sweeter tough. As I had mentioned before, I decided to move some of my online activity to Instagram after hitting a bit of a wall what I can post on Facebook. WIth my account being set to private, I have to approve new followers.

Sooo... last night I get this new contact request from a guy - I would say end 30's. Based on what I could figure out, he is following one of my longtime friends. While I already had a strange feeling, I still approved his request.

And guess what? Immediately had a private message. It all started out very normal and he was kind of sweet and kind. Single dad. At this point, I already knew where this is heading and I did not get disappointed. Of course, within the first 15 messages, he asked if I am married. Following up with inquiring if I am "happily married". I tried to be really sweet and asked him if he is disappointed which he confirmed. I think he was really shocked when I mentioned my wife. I did encourage him not to give up his quest.

Anyways, I managed to keep the conversation on light chatter and it ended up being a pretty sweet conversation. But I have also learned another valuable lesson... Hunters are everywhere and of course, I need to be careful even online. As usual, I do not give out location information or any more personal details but there is some on my feed.

We will see if he continues to contact me and I may still decide to block him at a later point. What I know is that I will be a lot more careful about accepting requests. I felt a little bad for him, I am neither into men nor am I in the dating pool. Almost a double rejection. He seemed to handle it OK.

I was always in control and did not feel weird anywhere in our conversation. So I do book this as a positive experience. Feels nice to get some sweet attention. 

Anyways, so much for my fun morning...

And no, I will not stop posting hot mommy pictures...



WIth that - have a great Thursday everyone!!

Hugs, Sarah

[Northern Star Girl]

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:
Regarding your just posted UPDATE  July 26- Hunted Prey

Welcome to my world....  not only do I feel like The Hunted Prey in my real life roamings around my town but I made a choice to no longer on Facebook or any other social site now which has really cut down on unsolicited and unwanted cyber-hunting that is directed at me.

While being the Hunted Prey is certainly confidence building, and is a boost to self-assurance....  if it goes to far, to fast, and is a constant barrage from certain people, it starts to become creepy and can turn into stalking.  So, Sarah, please be careful, especially in your situation of being happily married and with a kiddo.  You do not want to do anything that will jeopardize that or even give the appearance of something more than very casual going-ons.

Sometimes, I have to be downright straightforward and very direct with some of the individuals that appear to be engaging in "hunting" stalking me... telling them to STOP ... and sometimes Blocking emails, texts, phone calls and avoiding going to where they may be are my only solutions.

A note of concern:  You stated that after many messages and you telling him that you were happily married....
... "I did encourage him not to give up his quest."
I trust that was a typo and you meant to state that you encouraged him to give up his quest.

As MTFs we know from personal experience how the male half thinks... any reply, any communication at all, any time they see you look at them.... they consider it a Green Light to be encouraged to attempt and relentlessly continue their pursuit. 
If you have ever been on the on-line dating sites you should know that if you reply to a rude and crude unsolicited message, you will just encourage pursuit and more replies....  I know that this sounds rude but ignore and do not reply  is the best option... although it makes me feel badly, there is no other way in my opinion to handle these things.
It is a big learning lesson for me being a Full-time middle aged single blonde woman in a small town where I have very little competition and there are lots of men (and women) on the hunt.

Oh, enough of that....
YES, your followers do indeed want to see any pictures that you feel free to post...
...including your Hot Mama #2 pics, that gives us a good update on your progress of achieving your transition goals.

Thanks for your update this morning...  being the Hunted Prey can be flattering and a good feeling as long as it doesn't get out of hand with those that you don't want to be hunting you.

All of the above was just my personal opinion.... nothing more than that.
Hugs and well wishes.... be careful and be safe.
Danielle

[LizK]

July 26 - Hunted Prey

IWe will see if he continues to contact me and I may still decide to block him at a later point. What I know is that I will be a lot more careful about accepting requests. I felt a little bad for him, I am neither into men nor am I in the dating pool. Almost a double rejection. He seemed to handle it OK.

I was always in control and did not feel weird anywhere in our conversation. So I do book this as a positive experience. Feels nice to get some sweet attention. 

Anyways, so much for my fun morning...

And no, I will not stop posting hot mommy pictures...



WIth that - have a great Thursday everyone!!

Hugs, Sarah

Hi Sarah

I guess if you feel good about it then it is a positive experience.

I have a dozen or more random men waiting for Facebook friend request replies from me. Apart from 2 of them I have no idea who any these guys are. The other two I know they are mutual friends with some acquaintance I have but other than that, are unknown. The one and only time I have ever responded to a random kind of request I ended up getting my first genitalia pics...so as a rule I don't bother anymore unless they are friends of friends I know 

[sarah1972]

Sooo... Guess, letting my guard down was not such a good idea after all.

The Instagram guy got a bit too interested. Asked for video chat time (I told him clearly I don't do that) and when I told him I am busy, he offered to come and help. I was still thinking of letting him off easy but after chatting with my BFF 💜 about it and reading @Alaskan Danielle and @ElizabethK ' advice, I decided to just block him. I don't think he would have gotten the message. Having knowledge of how men work, did not help him either. I was very clear with him that I am married, have a kid and that I am into women.

For the cam question, he does get a designation on my creep list...
#4 - Instagram >-bleeped-<

He also got a ">-bleeped-<" designation. My Insta feed is very forward about my transition and only 5 pictures down, I had a before/after picture. My BFF 💜 brought up the ">-bleeped-<" topic and that was pretty much the point where I decided to block.

Hi Sarah

I guess if you feel good about it then it is a positive experience.

I have a dozen or more random men waiting for Facebook friend request replies from me. Apart from 2 of them I have no idea who any these guys are. The other two I know they are mutual friends with some acquaintance I have but other than that, are unknown. The one and only time I have ever responded to a random kind of request I ended up getting my first genitalia pics...so as a rule I don't bother anymore unless they are friends of friends I know 

Ugh - sorry @ElizabethK. Getting such pictures is just really disturbing. I never got any online but in a bar... It certainly left me with a sense of discomfort. On Facebook, I delete most requests if I don't recognize people. Even on LinkedIn, I have become a lot more selective.



I will take my reader's advice seriously and be a lot more careful.

Anyways, too bad.... it was fun while it lasted.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Northern Star Girl]

Sooo... Guess, letting my guard down was not such a good idea after all.

The Instagram guy got a bit too interested. Asked for video chat time (I told him clearly I don't do that) and when I told him I am busy, he offered to come and help. I was still thinking of letting him off easy but after chatting with my BFF 💜 about it and reading @Alaskan Danielle and @ElizabethK ' advice, I decided to just block him. I don't think he would have gotten the message. Having knowledge of how men work, did not help him either. I was very clear with him that I am married, have a kid and that I am into women.

For the cam question, he does get a designation on my creep list...
#4 - Instagram >-bleeped-<

He also got a ">-bleeped-<" designation. My Insta feed is very forward about my transition and only 5 pictures down, I had a before/after picture. My BFF 💜 brought up the ">-bleeped-<" topic and that was pretty much the point where I decided to block.

Ugh - sorry @ElizabethK. Getting such pictures is just really disturbing. I never got any online but in a bar... It certainly left me with a sense of discomfort. On Facebook, I delete most requests if I don't recognize people. Even on LinkedIn, I have become a lot more selective.



I will take my reader's advice seriously and be a lot more careful.

Anyways, too bad.... it was fun while it lasted.

Hugs,

Sarah

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:   Oh, oh.... and Oh no....  please be careful, this is what I was concerned about and why I stated what I did in my previous reply comment that I posted yesterday.

I will say no more....  (which is really hard for me)
Hugs,
Danielle

[sarah1972]

@Alaskan Danielle

Hi Danielle -

Yes, you called it. I know. And thanks for letting me off easy on this one  [emoji1] I deserve a lot more...

The sudden interest in me is really flattering, something I have never experienced, not even in male mode (yeah, I was more of a hunter for a long time). It is also very scary and I am sometimes not sure I handle it right. It is incredibly affirming for the most part - even though my last suitor turned out to be a >-bleeped-<, it still felt nice.

I guess in parts I am still struggling with the fear of not being seen as a woman, so these small pieces of affection/attraction are so affirming.

I am also wondering if there is a difference in male and female hunters. Males seem a lot more aggressive ....

As some of you know, I am struggling with a lot of my emotions. I really want to be a good mom to my kiddo and I still have some hope I can repair things at home. I caused a lot of issues with my transition. So I am working hard to get my emotions and feelings under control so I don't hurt any more people.

It is almost comical: I fought so hard to have emotions and now they are just confusing and I want to tame them down. 🤷‍♀️

I am always open and interested in making new friends, online and offline. And I have been very lucky to meet so many awesome people in the past two +  years and made some great friends. While I have to admit having moments where I dream of more, I know my place.

Hugs,

Sarah

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:   Oh, oh.... and Oh no....  please be careful, this is what I was concerned about and why I stated what I did in my previous reply comment that I posted yesterday.

I will say no more....  (which is really hard for me) [emoji4] [emoji6]
Hugs,
Danielle

[Michelle_P]

For what it's worth, on Facebook I have limited both friend requests and commenters to "friends of friends".

When I allowed anyone to send friend requests I got quite a few from men even with that big ole "Lesbian" right under my name on my page. Lots of "overseas soldiers" with oddly empty and newly created Facebook pages. [emoji849]

I only accept friend requests in social media from people I know, or who send me a convincing argument why via another channel.

Messenger requests from strangers are cheerfully discarded.

John Scalzi has it right. "Your hate mail will be graded."


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[sarah1972]

Lots of "overseas soldiers" with oddly empty and newly created Facebook pages. [emoji849]

Wow - yes, my Insta guy was an "overseas soldier" too... On picture on his feed...

Unfortunately, Instagram does not offer as much control over privacy than Facebook... But I had set my account to private, I still fell for accepting his request... So I guess, my fault...

Maybe time to start a new social network...

Aside from the usual care women have to take, we have to take the added care based on our past.

Hugs,

Sarah

[Faith]

... or who send me a convincing argument why via another channel ...

you mean like:
Hi, this Laurie person said I should accost ... pester ... contact you.
I am typing this from on top of my fridge .....

[Northern Star Girl]

Wow - yes, my Insta guy was an "overseas soldier" too... On picture on his feed...

Unfortunately, Instagram does not offer as much control over privacy than Facebook... But I had set my account to private, I still fell for accepting his request... So I guess, my fault...

Maybe time to start a new social network...

Aside from the usual care women have to take, we have to take the added care based on our past.

Hugs,

Sarah

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:   Yes indeed...  when I started transitioning 4 years ago, I have distanced myself from FB, Instagram, Twitter, etc...   I no longer have any accounts with the dating sites or any of it.   My local coffee shop provides all the friendship, acquaintances and the ability to meet and greet the townspeople that I am involved with... eye to eye, in person.... that works the best for me.   There is no way that they can hide behind a computer screen. 
Please be careful out there... it can be a dangerous jungle!!!
Hugs,
Danielle

[krobinson103]

Starting to get a few of those of Facebook myself as I add current photos. Usually I just ignore the overly friendly ones. If they get no response they tend to leave you alone and really... what use is some dude halfway around the world to me anyway? It is odd to be 'hunted' as such but also gives me a sense of progress. People actually notice me even if it is in a creepy kind of way.

[sarah1972]

People actually notice me even if it is in a creepy kind of way.

I agree and I have those mixed feelings too...

Love your avatar picture @krobinson103!


Hugs, Sarah

[sarah1972]

July 28 - weekend plans

Hello my dear readers, I am wondering what everyone is up to this weekend? Seems like we did survive the last weeks' rain (over 9 inches total) and there is some sun on the horizon...

For us - not much exciting.

Today will be the usual mix of a farmers market and then later visit the ECStrong festival, an effort to support a local town which did get hit hard with flooding, they had their entire downtown wiped out twice within a few years. It is about one hour away but we both have a strange connection to this town.

Sunday I am planning to build a little playhouse for the kiddo in the yard, maybe adding a sandbox too.

I also have to do a bit of laundry and pack my bags for a two-day business trip to New York. I am looking forward to it, especially since I can meet one of my friends and we usually have some fun girls time together. (sometimes involves fruity drinks and dancing).

I hope everyone has a fun and enjoyable weekend!

Hugs,

Sarah

[Northern Star Girl]

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:   It sounds like you will have a busy weekend.   Really! 9 inches of rain!  WOW ... I have watched some of the NEWS photos and stories about the flooding and everything, and then down in the Southwest in California there are very dry and are having terribly destructive wild-fires.... then in the paradise called Hawaii there is a Volcano that has gone berserk and has destroyed property and homes.   I am thinking that where I am I am quite fortunate...  at least I am fortunate until the big earthquake hits my area.

I love Farmers Markets... is this a family event with you, your wife, and your kiddo?

Please tell me a little more about the playhouse that you are going to make for kiddo....  I remember my "playhouse" when I was a kid... it usually turned out to be a big cardboard box with holes cut into it for the windows and doors.

Have a great time in NYC... that business trip is on Monday and Tuesday I assume.  and with your social stuff dancing and fruity drinks... just, please, be safe and be careful.

Thanks for letting us all peek into your life.
Hugs,
Danielle

[LizK]

Hi Sarah

Its Sunday morning 6:30 am here in Adelaide. Its been raining over night and the forecast is for possible showers. Looks like a day spent in the warmth as its only going to be 50F 13C here today, not very warm and most of the day will be in the 40's I should think more so than the 50's not that it matters that much its still cold. Its cold for us warm weather Aussies...

We are having a visit from my daughter today who loves clothes shopping.. She has had a clear out of her old/new clothes she doesn't want or no longer fit her or that she now does not like, she is bringing over 3 large garbage bags full of clothes for her mother to look through.  I am hopefully going to get a chance to spend a couple of hours trying out the macro lens Cindy lent me. For someone who does not work I seem to have great difficulty setting aside time for my own stuff. LOL  I would expect the rest of the day will be spent keeping out of the rain and cold although if the middle of the day is anything like yesterday it was lovely in the sunshine despite the cool day.

Hope you have an enjoyable time at the markets...I always fancied my ability to construct things like cubby houses etc but the results of my attempts resemble a nailed together debris pile more so that an actual useful structure.

Enjoy your weekend

Liz

[sarah1972]

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:   It sounds like you will have a busy weekend.   Really! 9 inches of rain!  WOW ... I have watched some of the NEWS photos and stories about the flooding and everything, and then down in the Southwest in California there are very dry and are having terribly destructive wild-fires.... then in the paradise called Hawaii there is a Volcano that has gone berserk and has destroyed property and homes.   I am thinking that where I am I am quite fortunate...  at least I am fortunate until the big earthquake hits my area.

The weather this July has been quite extreme. We finally got two days of sunshine but next week will be rain every day again. And kiddo's daycare is closed for vacation. We got really lucky this time, but we have had some weather-related issues earlier this year. This time we lost power for a few hours but thanks to all the preparation I do, we are protected....

I love Farmers Markets... is this a family event with you, your wife, and your kiddo?

Yes, we all go. It is a fairly small one, maybe 25 vendors offering local farm produce, bread, coffee and interesting enough even Alaskan  Salmon... We usually go every Saturday morning. Often meet a few friends from town there too.

Please tell me a little more about the playhouse that you are going to make for kiddo....  I remember my "playhouse" when I was a kid... it usually turned out to be a big cardboard box with holes cut into it for the windows and doors.

Oh yes, I loved when my parents went and got boxes of appliances. Nothing better than a cardboard box from a washer or dryer. Play fun for days. We have done similar but this one is a bit more permanent. Originally I just wanted to buy bare wood and build from scratch but then we saw an awesome kit... Still needs some plants for the door but kiddo has already started cooking a delicious meal for us.
While building I had to think of the cabins in Hard Luck. Guess if everything fails, I can have a second career building cabins in remote villages of Alaska....

Have a great time in NYC... that business trip is on Monday and Tuesday I assume.  and with your social stuff dancing and fruity drinks... just, please, be safe and be careful.

Thanks for your concern - No worries, one of the reasons why I go with a local is to be safe.

Besides that, the festival was fun - on a farm in Maryland with all kind of music, food, and craft. Bounce houses for kiddo.
I need to learn a bit about fashion for such events... a strapless summer dress and light-heeled sandals are not the best choices. Sneakers or boots would have been better and jeans maybe too.




We are all struggling with a cold and I hope it will be better before I head to NY tomorrow. I am glad I take the train, so I don't have any issues with pressurized cabins and my cold head. Trains for me are the most convinient way to get to NY, about the same time than flying and I can work the entire train ride. Free wifi and power at every seat is an added bonus.

Hi Sarah

Its Sunday morning 6:30 am here in Adelaide. Its been raining over night and the forecast is for possible showers. Looks like a day spent in the warmth as its only going to be 50F 13C here today, not very warm and most of the day will be in the 40's I should think more so than the 50's not that it matters that much its still cold. Its cold for us warm weather Aussies... [emoji6]

We are having a visit from my daughter today who loves clothes shopping.. She has had a clear out of her old/new clothes she doesn't want or no longer fit her or that she now does not like, she is bringing over 3 large garbage bags full of clothes for her mother to look through.  I am hopefully going to get a chance to spend a couple of hours trying out the macro lens Cindy lent me. For someone who does not work I seem to have great difficulty setting aside time for my own stuff. LOL  [emoji6] I would expect the rest of the day will be spent keeping out of the rain and cold although if the middle of the day is anything like yesterday it was lovely in the sunshine despite the cool day.

Hope you have an enjoyable time at the markets...I always fancied my ability to construct things like cubby houses etc but the results of my attempts resemble a nailed together debris pile more so that an actual useful structure.

Enjoy your weekend

Liz

@ElizabethK - Ugh - sounds really cold where you are. Hope you could take the time to take some great macro photos. Being able to build thing scan always come in handy. Even though I am a bit handicapped these days, don't want to ruin my nails... But I still do it. While I was lazy this time, I have the tools and skills to build such a house from scratch.

[Northern Star Girl]

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:   Thank you for posting your terrific update... and I have to say that you look great in your summer dress...  be careful with all of the flirts that receive when wearing that for sure.

Oh my.... the playhouse kit sure makes it easier than scratch-build....
WOW, to be a kid again with a playhouse like that!!!  If you have nearby neighbors that have kids, your yard will be a gathering place for sure.

Have a productive business trip to NYC ....  and I am glad that you will get some fun time too with your local friend.

Please, as I know you will, please keep us posted with your updates.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Kendra]

> Free wifi and poser at every seat is an added bonus.

I'm not sure... unless that's a typo, I'd skip that one and take a different train. 

[sarah1972]

I'm not sure... unless that's a typo, I'd skip that one and take a different train. 

Oops....