Sarah's New World

[Donica]

> Somehow I hear this in an intonation of the band Ramstein.

That band name is also what my size 4 dilator is called.

Lol! Touche! Appropriately named Kendra. Not much of a friend this Ramstein I understand. There's always pain in the relationship.

[LizK]

Sept 17 - Intermediate update

TWe had a (funny) incident this weekend: We were out and about with my 30 months old daughter and my wife. At one point, we wanted to check/change her diaper and all went into the ladies room. The diaper was fine, and we pack up. My wife reminds me, that I wanted to go potty too while I was there (thanks Spiro) and off I go. not thinking much about it. The stalls were in an adjacent room to the sinks. All goes well, I come back to wash my hands and as soon as I turn around the corner, my kid decides to yell "Papa" through the entire ladies bathroom considerably happy to see me. I thought they would wait outside, but they decided to wait inside. And of course, the bathroom was packed with other women. Lucky enough, no one worried about a kid yelling but it could have gotten quite uncomfortable. At least it was in DC which has laws in place allowing me to use the bathroom matching my gender identity.

I try hard to see it as a funny incident of "kids being kids" but of course it has me worried too and I need to figure out how to handle this going forward. The last thing I want is being outed and getting in trouble right in front of my little baby girl.

So much for today...

Stay strong everyone and have a great week!

Hugs,

Sarah

From the mouths of babes...I am glad you were able to take it in such good humour. Its a tough one and I am not sure I have any answer other than to share that when I was in my first year of transition my Daughters and wife went shopping to "get me organised" with new clothes...it was all going beautifully until my eldest daughter  (26) shouted to me across a couple of isles in a busy Kmart

"Hey Dad do you like this colour" holding up a women's boatneck top...

she never to this day even realised what she said and I have never told her, the only consolation was the empathetic look I got from an older woman standing beside me....if its any consolation as my transition has progressed they now know the importance of addressing me in public so they affectionately call me Lizzy Beth. This is something they came up with which is why it stuck...they still call me Dad in private and even now in public every now and then...it doesn't bother me like it used too because I know how hard they try in all sorts of ways and how difficult it has been for them.

Take care

[krobinson103]

My kids do that to me. I pass well these days so here I am in the supermarket with my 6 year saying daddy this and daddy that. Waiting in line you can see people looking at you most oddly. Daddy? She is Daddy? A frustrating problem. I gave up and just accept the odd looks.

[sarah1972]

That band name is also what my size 4 dilator is called.

Ah! Good to know. Another item for my pre-op check list:
Find names for dilators

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

[steph2.0]

Ah! Good to know. Another item for my pre-op check list:
Find names for dilators

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Oh no! One more thing to insert in the to-do list!


Stephanie

[LizK]

Ah! Good to know. Another item for my pre-op check list:
Find names for dilators

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

it never ends does it.... but I guess, if I am going to get that intimate with them, I should at least know their names

Added to pre-op checklist...

[Laurie]

Hi Sarah,

   I cannot believe I have missed reading your thread so long that I just today found out you have be thinking about different surgical options. OMG i'm sorry. And heck CONGRATS on getting to this point in your transition. I hope you are able to figure things out and get that ball rolling soon. You might know that I have decided to work toward GCS (or GA as Kaiser calls it) myself. I did that on the 17th and posted a small update about it today. Go girl Go!
  I also took note of your depression post on the 17th with sadness. It can be so hard to come out of that. I know. I hope you are getting the help you should for it. Don't try to get past it by yourself. Please.
  I am with the rest of the ladies in the "out of the mouths of babes" issue. Someday you will be looking back on these instances with laughter. yes you will. But I do understand how it was ment with anxuity given where yu were and at this point in your transition. You'll live through it lady.
  I wish you all the best and look forward to more updates of the GCS and other journey escapades as time goes on. If you need someone to lend you an ear I have 2 and am available via skype.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Michelle_P]

it never ends does it.... but I guess, if I am going to get that intimate with them, I should at least know their names

Added to pre-op checklist...

LOL!

I just refer to them as Mr. Small, Mr. Medium, Mr. Large, and Oh My!...

It's been 11 months, so, it's Oh My! twice a day...

[Donica]

LOL!

I just refer to them as Mr. Small, Mr. Medium, Mr. Large, and Oh My!...

It's been 11 months, so, it's Oh My! twice a day...

Oh Dear! Oh My! Ramstein! You devil!

[sarah1972]

Sept 25 - Gala

Some may remember me talking about the big Gala. A friend of mine is getting honored with an award tonight and he invited me to come. Unfortunately he got sick but there are a few other friends and coworkers here with me.

Lucky I contacted the organizer about the dress code since my original plan for a nice evening gown would have been overdressed. Business professional was the dress code. So I had to go shopping again last weekend....



On other news: in three weeks I had one r allowed bad day which als helped further identifying the triggers causing my anxiety.

So I am getting better.

I am continuing my quest for GRS and have scheduled a first consultation...

So much for tonight,

Hugs,

Sarah

[Jayne01]

Sept 25 - Gala

Some may remember me talking about the big Gala. A friend of mine is getting honored with an award tonight and he invited me to come. Unfortunately he got sick but there are a few other friends and coworkers here with me.

Lucky I contacted the organizer about the dress code since my original plan for a nice evening gown would have been overdressed. Business professional was the dress code. So I had to go shopping again last weekend....



On other news: in three weeks I had one r allowed bad day which als helped further identifying the triggers causing my anxiety.

So I am getting better.

I am continuing my quest for GRS and have scheduled a first consultation...

So much for tonight,

Hugs,

Sarah

Hey Sarah!

Too bad your friend got sick. Did he get sick at the gala or before? At least you have other friends and coworkers there with you.

I have to say, I think you are looking pretty awesome in that photo. I like the dress, it suits you.

The best news in your post is that you are getting better! And also your first GRS consultation. Such wonderful news.

Huge hugs to you! [emoji847][emoji171][emoji1299]

Jayne

[LizK]

Sept 25 - Gala

Some may remember me talking about the big Gala. A friend of mine is getting honored with an award tonight and he invited me to come. Unfortunately he got sick but there are a few other friends and coworkers here with me.

Lucky I contacted the organizer about the dress code since my original plan for a nice evening gown would have been overdressed. Business professional was the dress code. So I had to go shopping again last weekend....



On other news: in three weeks I had one r allowed bad day which als helped further identifying the triggers causing my anxiety.

So I am getting better.

I am continuing my quest for GRS and have scheduled a first consultation...

So much for tonight,

Hugs,

Sarah

Hi Sarah


I hope the Gala night went well and you enjoyed yourself. I love you dress but the shoes caught my eye 

Oh dear and evening gown could have been a heap of fun but somewhat awkward LOL Good move on making the call


Would love to hear how your evening went


Take care
Liz

[sarah1972]

Aww... Thanks, @LizK  and @Jayne01.

I ended up buying three different dresses and the evening gown, now I am set for a while. What I like about this dress is that it can serve multi-purpose: Works for a business meeting and could also serve a slightly more formal occasion. I may need to get some more accessories, a colored scarf or something similar. It is a bit more on the conservative side but that is a good thing in business.

Oh yeah, the shoes... There is a story behind them. I was on my way to a business meeting and stepped into the elevator of one of the New York high rises. In the elevator was another woman wearing these shoes. Of course, I complimented her on the shoes and asked her what brand they are. She told me how comfortable they are and that they are on sale... Needless to say, I spent the first 30 minutes of the meeting finding and ordering these shoes  - And I have them in black and in brown. Just in case. And yes, they are comfortable. Made 5 hours of the event including long walks from and to parking much easier.  I am not much of a fan of driving in heels, so like many girls, I switched from and to flats in the car.

The gala ended up being very nice. It was an award ceremony for minority-owned small businesses and suppliers to larger corporations. During the ceremony, there were a few very inspiring speeches. The program around the awards was also nice and funny.

I am still debating with myself if I would like to see LGBT owned businesses included or if they would deserve their own ceremony and recognition.

Prior to the award ceremony, there was a reception which made for an excellent place to observe and watch people. I am still trying to tune my behavior and my manners and occasions like this are an excellent learning ground. I did however not budge on food: They where service primarily very small plates with not much more than a sampler. It was a 5:30 event, so I was hungry and had to go 5 or 6 times for more 

This time I even managed a few quick conversations in the bathroom, something I usually avoid due to my voice. No issue at all.

Anyways, so much for shoes and the event.

As mentioned somewhere else, I do have scheduled a consultation for GRS with Keelee MacPhee on November 6th. I should have final appointment confirmation today so I can book flights and hotel. I will stay overnight, I am sure I will be very nervous leading up to this and don't want to have to travel right before. Lucky enough I have accumulated a ton of airline miles and I can finally make good use of them. Should be enough for 10 or more trips down there if needed. Driving would be fine too, it is only 4 hours.

Recommendation letters are lined up and I should have them by that time.

That is it for excitement today!

Hugs,

Sarah

Hi Sarah

I hope the Gala night went well and you enjoyed yourself. I love you dress but the shoes caught my eye 

Oh dear and evening gown could have been a heap of fun but somewhat awkward LOL Good move on making the call

Would love to hear how your evening went

Take care
Liz

[Faith]

Oh yeah, the shoes... There is a story behind them. I was on my way to a business meeting and stepped into the elevator of one of the New York high rises. In the elevator was another woman wearing these shoes. Of course, I complimented her on the shoes and asked her what brand they are. She told me how comfortable they are and that they are on sale... Needless to say, I spent the first 30 minutes of the meeting finding and ordering these shoes  - And I have them in black and in brown. Just in case. And yes, they are comfortable. Made 5 hours of the event including long walks from and to parking much easier.  I am not much of a fan of driving in heels, so like many girls, I switched from and to flats in the car.

Did I miss the what and where? Or is it a secret? Can't have too many shoes ......

As mentioned somewhere else, I do have scheduled a consultation for GRS with Keelee MacPhee on November 6th. I should have final appointment confirmation today so I can book flights and hotel. I will stay overnight, I am sure I will be very nervous leading up to this and don't want to have to travel right before. Lucky enough I have accumulated a ton of airline miles and I can finally make good use of them. Should be enough for 10 or more trips down there if needed. Driving would be fine too, it is only 4 hours.

Recommendation letters are lined up and I should have them by that time.

Oh yeah, GRS, I suppose that's important as well

[sarah1972]

Oh yeah, the shoes... There is a story behind them. I was on my way to a business meeting and stepped into the elevator of one of the New York high rises. In the elevator was another woman wearing these shoes. Of course, I complimented her on the shoes and asked her what brand they are. She told me how comfortable they are and that they are on sale... Needless to say, I spent the first 30 minutes of the meeting finding and ordering these shoes  - And I have them in black and in brown. Just in case. And yes, they are comfortable. Made 5 hours of the event including long walks from and to parking much easier.  I am not much of a fan of driving in heels, so like many girls, I switched from and to flats in the car.

Did I miss the what and where? Or is it a secret? Can't have too many shoes ......

There is always a shoe sale somewhere! Yes, you are right... A girl can never have too many shoes. I know where my 2-year-old daughter got her shoe addiction from.

Hi, I am Sarah and I am a shoe addict 

[Northern Star Girl]

Did I miss the what and where? Or is it a secret? Can't have too many shoes ......


There is always a shoe sale somewhere! Yes, you are right... A girl can never have too many shoes. I know where my 2-year-old daughter got her shoe addiction from.

Hi, I am Sarah and I am a shoe addict 

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:
Ah ha, you and @Faith are quite correct about shoes....
It gets to the point that when I pack suitcases for trip of more than several days that I usually have a separate suitcase just for my shoes.
 
It's is not anything like what men do, for dress shoes they may have one Black pair and one Brown pair ... and perhaps a pair of sneakers or walking shoes.   
But of course, men's fashion is very limited and can be comparatively drab.... and shoes are not always coordinated with various colors and a myriad of styles as with women.

Hugs,
Danielle

[Faith]

In keeping with my past comments in here, hope you don't mind, I got some new shoes on Saturday compliments of my loving wife. I wore them to work today ...



please excuse the ugly feet in them. I probably should have taken a better picture. Oh well.

[sarah1972]

Sept 28 - Update

My dear readers, time for a quick update.

Let's start with my fitness regimen. My depression and the Pneumonia have caused a bit more of a break than I wanted. Add to that the electrolysis and the resulting beard which made me not go to the gym. I still kept up with my weekly trainer sessions and I do notice some strength improvements from that. Recently we focused primarily on leg strength in hopes it will help with my upcoming 5K. OMG - I am so far away from any reasonable time. I did walk/jog the entire route this morning for the very first time ever and it took 54 minutes for the 5k route. Way too long. I should be in the 30-minute area, something I am sure I will not accomplish, so I set my goal at 45 minutes. Still means a lot of work ahead. At least I have started training a bit more serious and I have 6 weeks left to get there. Guess I will be walking/running that route frequently until then or use the gym in bad weather.

Swimming season is pretty much over by now, we are planning to close up the pool soon for the winter. I can still swim at the gym to stay on top of that too. I have not been to Zumba in ages, but I really want to pick this up again.

Overall I have been feeling a bit better, it is the third week on medication and I do notice that my general mood keeps improving. Still lacking for a bit of energy but they told me it can take up to 6 weeks for that coming back. One bad day in 3 weeks is much better than one good day in three weeks like it used to be.

My planning for surgery consultation continues. My therapist is working on the first recommendation letter and I have a psychologist who is aware that I may need a second one. My GP is informed and I am only waiting on the final appointment confirmation for Nov. 6th. I already put in for medical leave at work. Next week I'll start working with my insurance on coverage for the surgery. They do cover, but most surgeons are out of network.

So, overall a lot of progress on many fronts.

In keeping with my past comments in here, hope you don't mind, I got some new shoes on Saturday compliments of my loving wife. I wore them to work today ...

please excuse the ugly feet in them. I probably should have taken a better picture. Oh well.

Love your shoes and your feet look great too, certainly better than mine! Nothing to apologize for. Great to see your supportive wife.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Hugs,

Sarah

[Donica]

Great updates Sarah. Congratulations on your upcoming consult for GRS. I hope everything goes well for you. I was invited to a Gala next weekend. I too need to shop for a formal evening gown. My new sandals should be here by then.

Hugs,
Donica.

[Northern Star Girl]

@sarah1972 :
Dear Sarah:
Thank you for posting your Sept 28 update today.   I read all of your updates on your thread and everything that you post elsewhere on other threads with great interest and anticipation of knowing that things are going well for you and I will rejoice in that, and if I read that things are not going well for you, I will make certain that you are aware that you will be in my thoughts.

Regarding you recent illness and your unfortunate and unplanned break from your 5K training, I know from personal experience that it can be difficult to get back in the groove and to have the motivation to get going with focused and regular training and exercise, and your Zumba again.   
This takes raw determination and willpower to do things that you just don't feel like doing or can not do to the level that you desire.   I have been there, so I understand fully.

A 5K race is just a tenth of a mile over 3 miles.   Most of us in fairly good shape can walk at a quick and fast pace of 15 minute miles (4 mph).... so a 45 minute 5K time would be quite achievable with some fast walking interspersed with a few bouts of jogging. ...   or if you can jog all the way with 10 or 11 minute miles it can be done in 30 minutes or so.   Then of course for runners that run along at a 6 or 7 minute mile pace it could be around 20 minutes or even quicker.   All in all, I am thinking that you should be able to get to your first goal of 45 minutes and perhaps with more intense training coupled with your continued good health you might just do it in 30+ minutes.   
No matter what your time is, just do it, and accomplish and finish the 5K .... you will feel better for doing it and also feel better about yourself even if your time is slower than you wanted.

I am so glad that you reported that you are feeling a bit better now... it will indeed take some time to get your energy level back.... bit by bit over time.   I am also glad to hear that your mood is getting more upbeat with less "down" days.

I am thinking optimist thoughts for your planned November 6th Date with the doctor.  I trust that your appointment(s)  and your insurance all come through as you have planned.

Like you stated:  "So, overall a lot of progress on many fronts."
WE shall consider this very good news.

Thank you for posting and sharing with your followers.
Hugs, and as always I am wishing you well.
Danielle