Sarah's New World

[Northern Star Girl]

@sarah1972    cc: @Jayne01
Dear Sarah:
I am just about crying with joy over all of your descriptions of the wonderful visit that you had with your BFF.  I have to admit that I am very envious of the relationship that you and Jayne have developed and the good times that you and your family had with her during her Christmas visit.

Thank you for sharing your fun pictures and fun times... her visit has certainly established in you two a new meaning to "BFF"

Hugs and warm fuzzy thoughts to both you and Jayne, [emoji173]
Danielle

Dec 10 - More BFF fun and an Auf Wiedersehen

Using the German "Auf Wiedersehen" in the title which means "See you soon again", there is no real good English equivalent.



Last night Jayne, me and my family had a lovely goodbye dinner which marked the end of four very exciting days with my BFF.  Afterward, I dropped Jayne off at her Hotel and we exchanged a lot more very emotional big hugs. It was very hard to let my Bestie go and to be fair I had to leave before I completely broke down in tears.  Coming home, I told my kiddo that Miss Jayne is leaving for Canada and I could see in her face how much she will miss Jayne too. She looked sad once she realized that it will be a bit before we meet again in April.

Kiddo and Jayne got along so very well and they also had a great time together.

What else has happened? We had a lot more BFF fun and tried to maximize the time together.



Jayne helped to work on my Christmas decorations, it was so great having her; she was a natural and it is always a pleasure working with someone without having to explain anything.

We also spent some more time at the mall, mostly being silly and add more to our "besties collection" - as you recall we already have matching jackets and purses. We added matching shoes (mine are coming in the mail in a few days, they did not have my size) and as a big token of our friendship, matching "Best Friends" necklaces.

Jayne's visit was the best (early) Christmas Gift I can think of. I am so glad she came and we could spend time together. I can't wait to see her again in April (even though I'll be under anesthesia and heavy painkillers for most of the time).

By now, Jayne is on her way to meet up with her wife.

THANKS, JAYNE FOR THE WONDERFUL TIME!!!

Hugs,

Sarah

[Jayne01]

My dearest Sarah, it was so lovely visiting you and your family for the past several days. From the minute we exchanged a giant greeting hug when you picked me up at the airport, it felt like we had known each other since childhood. I suppose you could say we have known each other since our teen years (the second time around, thank you HRT [emoji56][emoji4])

I had a really wonderful time with you and kiddo completely stole my heart. She is utterly beautiful and so much fun to be with. Looking at the photos you posted brought a tear to my eye. It was so much fun hanging out with you. Saying Auf Wiedersehen last night was not easy. I had to cry myself to sleep. Can't wait to see you again when I return for your big day in April.

Love you girl!

[emoji3590]Hugs[emoji3590]

Jayne

Dec 10 - More BFF fun and an Auf Wiedersehen

Using the German "Auf Wiedersehen" in the title which means "See you soon again", there is no real good English equivalent.



Last night Jayne, me and my family had a lovely goodbye dinner which marked the end of four very exciting days with my BFF.  Afterward, I dropped Jayne off at her Hotel and we exchanged a lot more very emotional big hugs. It was very hard to let my Bestie go and to be fair I had to leave before I completely broke down in tears.  Coming home, I told my kiddo that Miss Jayne is leaving for Canada and I could see in her face how much she will miss Jayne too. She looked sad once she realized that it will be a bit before we meet again in April.

Kiddo and Jayne got along so very well and they also had a great time together.

What else has happened? We had a lot more BFF fun and tried to maximize the time together.



Jayne helped to work on my Christmas decorations, it was so great having her; she was a natural and it is always a pleasure working with someone without having to explain anything.

We also spent some more time at the mall, mostly being silly and add more to our "besties collection" - as you recall we already have matching jackets and purses. We added matching shoes (mine are coming in the mail in a few days, they did not have my size) and as a big token of our friendship, matching "Best Friends" necklaces.

Jayne's visit was the best (early) Christmas Gift I can think of. I am so glad she came and we could spend time together. I can't wait to see her again in April (even though I'll be under anesthesia and heavy painkillers for most of the time).

By now, Jayne is on her way to meet up with her wife.

THANKS, JAYNE FOR THE WONDERFUL TIME!!!

Hugs,

Sarah

[Donica]

Wooo-Hooo! Two lovely ladies on a shopping spree 

[JudiBlueEyes]

Yeah Yoo-Hoo!!  What a great visit.  I'm glad you could spend time together.

[sarah1972]

Dec 24 - Christmas Eve

Seems like I have not updated anything for the last two weeks. I have been around a lot less with lots of year-end work on my plate. I had to jump in knee deep to help out getting a lot of things over the finish line and negotiate a few others into next year.

There are a few other reasons I won't discuss here for being around less.

Nothing big new to report on my end. My life just moves along.

On some positive news: Our Christmas Cards this year did no longer include my old name. All of the cards we sent out said, Sarah. I call this progress. Last year the majority was still under my old name.

I have signed up for another 5K on new years eve (someone told me it is addictive). I better start training soon...

Facial hair removal is almost completed and I have two more sessions before the end of the year. Then off to the remaining hairs down below. I want to have this wrapped up before March so there is enough healing time for April. We are working on some of the logistics now, trying to find an affordable place to stay for two weeks. Maybe some long-term stay suite.

Kiddo will be home from daycare for a week. She has really excelled in "terrible two's" in the last few weeks and it has been exhausting at times. So we have to plan a lot of activity to keep her occupied and get her tired.

This is all I can report for today.

To all of you celebrating Christmas: Have a Merry Christmas! And to all a Great New Year!!!

Hugs,

Sarah

113D20H

[Stevi]

Sarah,

Merry Christmas! and Happy New Year! right back!

Hugs,
Stevi

[Jessica]

Merry Christmas Sarah 🎄🎄🎄
Good luck with your next 5K.....yes it is addictive.  Watch out for the increased need.  I went from 5K to 10K to 15K!  The next in March will be a 1/2 marathon and there may be a marathon in the future 🏃‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏿‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏿‍♀️

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[davina61]

What a way to work the Christmas excess off , have a Happy Christmas and Happy New Year. XXXXXXX

[Donica]

Merry Christmas Sarah! I'll wait till New Years to post another Happy New Year! I love your new avatar. Oh ya, and you only have a little more than a week to train for your upcoming 5K. Just sayin girl!

Hugs!

[sarah1972]

Dec 31st - Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone, may 2019 bring you peace, happiness, and a fulfilled life.

My dear friends and readers - Another year comes to an end, time for a little review and a look forward.

2018 was the first full year as Sarah. It was quite a mix between really good times in my transition life (6 weeks on a job assignment where I was seen 100% as a woman and which allowed me to make great progress), almost consistent passing and getting almost all facial hair removed. Add to that my surgery consults and booking my appointment for 2019. I started taking more care of me, joined a gym and completed my first ever 5k run.

It also came with some very hard times. A work-related incident which clearly falls into "hostile work environment" and harassment. While it had nothing to do with my transition, it did throw me in a really bad cycle of anxiety and depression, something I still have not recovered entirely from. There were other job-related disappointments and I know I need to find new employment. I have a few things transition wise ahead of me and once those are completed, I will take on that task.

My wife is still struggling to accept the new me, it is understandable, she knows me as male for such a long time. At the same time, it is hard since our relationship is certainly strained.

2018 brought some new very good friends which I cherish every day. Transition wise, 2018 was fairly quiet with no new major milestones.

What is in store for 2019? The next big step in my transition is planned for April! I am very much looking forward to this day and the planning will move into high gear in the next few weeks. I still hope for German law to change, allowing me to change my name without a tedious process. A name/gender marker change is still very high on my list. Otherwise, I have to wait till mid-2020 before I can start. On the other hand, most of 2019 will be surgery and recovery. Not sure how much more I will be able to handle.

Our little one will start pre-school next year too.


For today, I have another 5k planned and we are invited to a neighbors house tonight for New Year's Eve. Tomorrow will be the last day of my winter break, so I need to get ready for a new year at work.

Funny story about the 5k: I went to a professional running store to buy good running shoes. They did a video analysis of my running the treadmill and measured my feet. The (very experienced) sales guy concluded: He may have one shoe for me but if that does not work, I might have to look at male shoes. He also asked if I tried male shoes before... I did admit I have used male sports shoes before, no need to tell him I wore male shoes for 44 years...

What are your plans for New Year's Eve my dear friends and readers?


Hugs,

Sarah

[Donica]

Happy New Year Sarah!!! I have truly enjoyed following your thread. I seem to be in the same place for 2019 being mostly surgeries and recovery. I am so looking forward to this and following your journey through the coming year.

Best wishes Dear Sarah!
Donica.

[Northern Star Girl]

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:
Thank you for your wonderful update, thanks for treating your followers to all of the most interesting details.
Yes indeed, wishing you a very Happy New Year in 2019.  As it has been for you, this last year in 2018 has been a very eventful and full year for me as well.  We both have achieved successes in our journeys, and we have both conquered many of our fears and trepidation.

*You are now planning another 5K running event... and when buying new running shoes asked if you ever wore men's shoes for perhaps a better fit ! 
*You joined a gym and are working out regularly and enjoying your "spin" class and getting some social involvement with your spin classmates.
*Even though you may be considering finding a new employment situation you have been successfully working mostly full-time as a woman in your work life.
*Regarding your relationship with your wife, it can be understandingly stressful for you and for her but your recounting of your family times with your wife and kiddo do shed some light on your successes as being hot-mama #2 to your daughter and being a little more accepted by your wife.
*Yes indeed, like you, I have also developed a lot of new friends... especially lots of new friends here on the Forums... it is such a pleasure for me to log in and find my friends and followers here waiting for my replies and comments.
*Yes, for sure, your transition journey is repleat with good things like your facial hair removal and dressing much of the time at work and at home in full-time female-mode,  and the month of April will most certainly be a big month for you with your upcoming surgery... it will definitely mark one of your major steps in your transition journey.
*Being invited to your neighbor's New Year's Eve celebration is just another confirmation and affirmation of the "new you" as Sarah.
*Oh, and certainly a big milestone in your family, your Kiddo will be starting pre-school.... cherish these memorable moments, she will grow up in a flash way too fast.

Thank you so very much for letting us all closely follow your life events this last year...
As one of your biggest fans, I am always rooting for you. 
I am looking forward to more of your updates and comments around the various forum's threads (including mine) whenever you feel so led to post them.

Lots and lots of HUGS, and well wishes...   good luck on your 5K race, I will be looking for your results.
Danielle

[Northern Star Girl]

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:
Hello good friend.  I am so glad that we have found each other on the Forums.  It has been an extreme pleasure for me to share my thoughts and comments with you on your thread, my threads, and all the other threads that we meet on around the Forums. 

I have so much enjoyed your updates as you continue on in your journey.
Thank you for feeling free to share your life events with all of us.

Obviously some bumps in the road that all of us experience so continue to hang on for an exciting ride.
 
I am so very happy that I found you and your thread on the Forums this last year and I will be eagerly following your upcoming reports and updates in the New Year in 2019.

Wishing you a very HAPPY NEW YEAR  in 2019...

Hugs and as always, well wishes.

Danielle

[sarah1972]

@Donica - Thank you for the nice New Years Wishes! We really need a class of 2019 thread...

@Alaskan Danielle - Thank you as well for your kind wishes!

I forgot: I need to get back to Zumba. In the last few weeks, work has interfered too often with my 9:30 AM class. Thanks, for the reminder @Alaskan Danielle...

Since you asked: The second 5k. A much smaller event, about 250 runners and with a good cause: to support research for type 1 diabetes. It was 7C / 44F and a light drizzle when I left my house. The race was in walking distance on a local trail which is heavily populated by runners and cyclists. It used to be a railroad line. I was also fighting with a sprained ankle and a light cold. Usually, conditions where I would have rolled up on the couch.

But guess what? Sarah is much more determined, so I got dressed, put on rain gear and walked over to the starting line.

I was glad, I took the rain gear, about 10 minutes into the race, it started raining again and night set in. Lucky we all did get some blinking lights so we could see each other

It was only the fifth time I have done this distance (3 training runs(walks) in October / November and 2 races so far), no training in between. I still have to walk larger parts of the course.

Anyways, I was determined and I completed the run. The new shoes helped and my shins did not hurt as bad as previously.

I still ended in the bottom 10% - but I did improve my time by 106 seconds compared to the November run which I am happy about. Compared to other ladies in my running group, I still have to shave off a few more minutes per mile which will be my goal for next year. Given that I have to take a recovery break over the summer, I did postpone my 10k goal into 2020. It will take me a little while to get from couch to 5k.

Winter is a bit harder to find more races close by, but I may find something in my running group and if not, there is a race on February 10th. I'd like to get at least one or two more into the books before my surgery.

Hugs,

Sarah (105D9H)

[sarah1972]

Jan 2nd - 2 Year HRT checkup

Today I have completed my second year on HRT and had my regular checkup. Nothing exciting to report, Estrogen did get adjusted a little bit and I am supposed to come back about 6 weeks after my surgery to be re-tested and adjusted.

As a (questionable) award, I also did get an order for a Mammogram. She feels I should have a baseline scan done now. I know for most cis woman this is a dreaded appointment and I am sure next year I will feel the same way but for now, it is just affirming.

Overall feminization progress has slowed down a bit. My body still keeps changing a little bit, so does my face. I am still a "barely cup" but in recent weeks I had new growing pains and it is finally more than a handful. We will see what changes post op. I know I do complain on a very high note, given that I do pass almost at 100%, even without any makeup and I am generally accepted as a woman.

A very interesting social experience was our neighbors New Year's Eve Party. A total of 4 couples including us, the group distributed 3 (males) to 5 (females). So did the topis: Beer and baseball in one group, shoes, heels and the changes in our local shops in the other group. It was so stereotypical. We only knew our neighbors walking in and it was just normal for me to be part of the women's group.

One other happening which did show how much I changed was a comment by my (new) personal trainer. four years ago, I would have laughed with him, this time I was primarily annoyed: for a Bicep Exercise, he explained that I "should just imagine lifting my shirt like I would do on spring break" - Seriously? I guess, my mindset has also fully shifted.

Anyways, so much for my 2-year hormone update.

Stay Classy Internet!

Hugs,

Sarah

[Northern Star Girl]

@sarah1972
Dear Sarah:
Thank you for updating all of us with your 2 year HRT checkup report.

ahhhhh.... the female "gender" specific Mammogram test...   I have had 2 of those "titty squisher" exams and the last one that I had over a year ago the technician had no idea that I was a trans-woman until she looked at the previous mammogram report that just happened to have my dead name and wrong gender listed on it.  I could see that she had a questioning look on her face so I volunteered my "secret."  That is very affirming especially because I had taken my top and bra off for the exam.   It was a wonderfully confidence building experience for sure.

Your subtle changes continuing with HRT... at least they are still progressing... and the new growing pains in your breasts should be considered very good news indeed.

At your New Year's Eve party at the neighbors.... fitting in with the women's group conversation... very affirming for sure.  I am so very happy to hear your good report about that.

Your new personal trainer talking about the Bicep Exercise.... yes indeed, "lifting your shirt like you were a coed on spring break"....  I would be annoyed also, especially that comment coming from a man.

Regarding your finish time on the 5K "rain" run....  at least you participated and finished the run, that is the most important thing. 

Thank you for posting your recent updates....  keep on keeping on toward your goal...
Hugs and well wishes as always,
Danielle

[JudiBlueEyes]

Good update Sarah!   My PCP has asked about when I would need a mammogram.  I have been on HRT for three years and starting about 6 months ago I've had soreness associated with another growth spurt!  I suppose I should look into it this spring.  My wife laughs at the thought!  Ha Ha! 

I'm surprised at the comment from your trainer.  He obviously must feel comfortable with you to make that kind of statement, otherwise that comment is certainly out of place in today's environment.  Seriously!!

[KathyLauren]

My PCP has asked about when I would need a mammogram.  I have been on HRT for three years and starting about 6 months ago I've had soreness associated with another growth spurt!  I suppose I should look into it this spring.  My wife laughs at the thought!  Ha Ha! 

The energing standard in trans health care, I have heard, is that trans women should have regular mammograms if they are over 50 and have been 5 years on HRT.  There is nothing wrong with getting one sooner, though.

[Northern Star Girl]

The energing standard in trans health care, I have heard, is that trans women should have regular mammograms if they are over 50 and have been 5 years on HRT.  There is nothing wrong with getting one sooner, though.

@KathyLauren
Dear Kathy:
Exactly correct ...
My Endo had me get a Mammogram soon after I started HRT because I had very fast breast development and just a year ago I was directed by my doctor to have a follow up Mammogram exam.   
Everything was clear and no problems found, always a good thing to have the knowledge that there is nothing wrong.
Danielle

[sarah1972]

@Alaskan Danielle , @KathyLauren @JudiBlueEyes -

Yes, usually 5 years into HRT is the starting point. Some doctors want it earlier though, especially if you have a family history. I, unfortunately, have both breast and prostate cancer in my parents. And seeing my mom suffer I have to admit I rather go for a "tittie squeeze" sooner than later. My dad did get lucky but I am also on top of these tests and will have to be. Part of the early start - I am sure - is also that my doctor is an OBGYN by trade, so they are a bit more sensitive anyway. We are currently thinking of making this a "family trip". What will be interesting is that they want to do the mammogram mid-cycle. Guess it is good that I cycle progesterone.

For the trainer: I will wait, if he continues like this I will ask for a different trainer. It was on the second session, so nothing which could be excused by us knowing each other for ages. I do think it is interesting how much more sensitive I got to this.

Hugs,

Sarah