My family ghosted me

[Elli.P]

Well that just happened. My entire family (mom, 2 sisters, 1 brother and thier spouses) just ghosted me. They all live in another state. I have been out to them for a year now, and all of a sudden, without warning, or anything, I'm blocked on all thier phones. I talked to all of them at Christmas and my sister as late as a week ago, not a hint in conversation that this was coming. I mean it must have been a coordinated effort between them all. I'm floored and in shock right now. I'm not sure what to think.

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[Pao]

All I can say is I am so sorry. I really don't have the words.

[Jessica_Rose]

Wow. I am so sorry to hear that. It has got to be hard on you. I would have thought that if your relationship held up for that long after coming out that it was relatively safe. I agree with your comment that it sounds like a coordinated attack. They could have at least had the courtesy to tell you why.

Our drive to do this is overwhelming, otherwise most of us would never take the gamble of possibly losing everyone in our lives. Try to concentrate on what you have gained and learned through your journey.

I also live far away from the rest of my family. They have no idea I am transitioning. My name change should be complete within the next few days. I plan to visit them in a month or so to tell them. I have already accepted that this may be the last time I visit them. It is sad, but I know the path I was on would have led to my own destruction.

[Elli.P]

All I can say is I am so sorry. I really don't have the words.

Thanks, I don't have words either. I knew they didn't like me being trans, but never in a million years would I have thought they would do this.

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[linda troung vu]

Hugs and kisses for you sister. I am in the same position as my sisters and brother all abandoned me several years ago. I have my wife and children and her family only. 😆 💖 they made fun of me and said very bad things about me to my wife. She knows what they are like. I'm ok now and better off without them. 😆 💖 I hope that you can find some new friends and happiness with out negative people in your life sister. take care and be strong. 😆

[Sno]

What? When did we ghost you... ah, you mean natal family. Don't worry hon, we are going nowhere fast. You've got this.

Rowan

[SonadoraXVX]

Hi Elli,

Just remember, you are still as much as a human being now, as you were when  your family accepted you. They may just have different values than you now, and may not have liked how you changed. They may come around yet, in the future, but if they don't. Your still a full fledged human being.

Your always welcome to this forum with all of us.

[Elli.P]

What? When did we ghost you... ah, you mean natal family. Don't worry hon, we are going nowhere fast. You've got this.

Rowan

You're toooo funny! Lol. I beige watched Sense8 this weekend and it reminded me we are all part of a global family. I still have lots of support from other people that I know have my back (you guys being one of them). I haven't been close to any of my family since I moved away. Only catching up on the phone every now and then. So, they are no big loss. It just hurt the way they went about it. I'm sure they will come crawling back to me one day, because I'm awesome! [emoji41]

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[and5678]

*hugs*

I'm so sorry to hear about this. My parents have never been truly accepting of my transition, and still aren't... but to pull something like this is just very hurtful.

My only experience was with an ex bf that pulled it on me. It's extremely callous & cowardly.

My only suggestion would really only apply for people that aren't family members. You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends... I hope there is some comfort in that saying.

[HappyMoni]

Hi Elli,

Just remember, you are still as much as a human being now, as you were when  your family accepted you. They may just have different values than you now, and may not have liked how you changed. They may come around yet, in the future, but if they don't. Your still a full fledged human being.

Your always welcome to this forum with all of us.

Anyone with values of abandoning a family member over something like this has values I can do without. No excuse for what they are doing. I am sorry you have to deal with this Elli. I wish you happiness and hope you have plenty of support in your life.
Moni

[Roll]

Thanks, I don't have words either. I knew they didn't like me being trans, but never in a million years would I have thought they would do this.

Had they ever done anything to express that level of dislike before?

Is it possible someone did it on all their phones as a bad joke or something? I have a hard time picturing a family acting so monolithically like that.

[Janes Groove]

I'm going to say something to you now that is 100% true.

There is nothing wrong with you!
They are the ones with the problem.

[ChrissyRyan]

Elli,

This behavior to cut you off is just plain wrong.
Very unkind indeed.  We can hope that they will unblock you soon.


Chrissy

[Elli.P]

Had they ever done anything to express that level of dislike before?

Is it possible someone did it on all their phones as a bad joke or something? I have a hard time picturing a family acting so monolithically like that.

My mom definitely has been hostile about all of it, but she kept talking to me. And I can see  this behavior from my super religious older sister and my super macho little brother. The one I didn't expect it from was my little sister who has a degree in  psychology. Perhaps she caved to pressure from the others, I don't know. Oh, and they're all in Alabama so there's that also.  I think it's probably for the best. I just wish at least one of them would have said something to me instead of just going dark.

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[TonyaW]

You're toooo funny! Lol. I beige watched Sense8 this weekend and it reminded me we are all part of a global family. I still have lots of support from other people that I know have my back (you guys being one of them). I haven't been close to any of my family since I moved away. Only catching up on the phone every now and then. So, they are no big loss. It just hurt the way they went about it. I'm sure they will come crawling back to me one day, because I'm awesome! [emoji41]

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It really does suck that that's the way they chose to do it.  If they can't handle you being awesome they ought be big enough to tell you. 

Had they ever done anything to express that level of dislike before?

Is it possible someone did it on all their phones as a bad joke or something? I have a hard time picturing a family acting so monolithically like that.

I would suspect that one or two of them somehow got the others to go along and block all at the same time.



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[and5678]

My mom definitely has been hostile about all of it, but she kept talking to me. And I can see  this behavior from my super religious older sister and my super macho little brother. The one I didn't expect it from was my little sister who has a degree in  psychology. Perhaps she caved to pressure from the others, I don't know. Oh, and they're all in Alabama so there's that also.  I think it's probably for the best. I just wish at least one of them would have said something to me instead of just going dark.

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They're going to regret shutting you out. There definitely was an organizer to this, and they will make themselves known just by their actions.

Just don't shut out the first one to come forward. Don't get bitter, get better than them.

[Janes Groove]

It does sound kind of interventiony.

[Faith]

It does sound like they may be trying that 'hard love' approach. Cut you off and make you suffer to teach you a lesson, you'll come around. Could easily be a suggestion by the younger sister 'psychological stuff' and the others jumped on board.

Easy enough to turn the tables on them, keep enjoying your journey and life. I wish some  of my family would ghost me .. oh wait .. we'd have to talk in the first place for that to happen.

Head high, keep (M)arching forward ..