Children's Questions & Scars

[just]

Hi, so this is my first post on here, I'm sorry if I'm breaking any rules.
My brother is dating a woman with two young children, ages 4 & 6, and I am meeting them for the first time this weekend. I am horrible with children. I don't have any (clearly) and I don't work near children in the slightest. From what I understand of adults, children will have some more questions. My donor site for phalloplasty (on my forearm) is marked with a large scar, and it is thinner than my other arm, and I do not know how to answer questions regarding it in general, especially not with children. I am stealth for the most part with everyone in my brother's life, so I do not want to explain the real reasons I have this scar, so I'm just looking for creative responses to the inevitable question. Nothing too serious, they're 4 & 6, but something realistic enough that they'll believe it.

[Shambles]

How about a car aceident or an exiting story around catching some robbers!

[KathyLauren]

I don't advocate making up fabrications.  But often, telling just enough of the truth will do as well.

How about, "It's a scar from surgery."  Chances are, at that age, they will be satisfied with something that vague.  If they press too hard, tell them that it's personal, and that it is rude to ask people about their surgeries.  That's something that they will have to learn eventually anyway.

[ainsley]

Had surgery to fix a birth defect.
2ez

[Faith]

I agree with Kathy. 'shielding' children from harsh truth is sometimes a necessity. Covering it up with a lie never is.

[Sophia Sage]

Wear a long-sleeved shirt.

[Kylo]

Unless you are gonna end up spending a lot of time with these kids I'd go with out of sight out of mind

[Jacqueline]

Hi, so this is my first post on here, I'm sorry if I'm breaking any rules.
My brother is dating a woman with two young children, ages 4 & 6, and I am meeting them for the first time this weekend. I am horrible with children. I don't have any (clearly) and I don't work near children in the slightest. From what I understand of adults, children will have some more questions. My donor site for phalloplasty (on my forearm) is marked with a large scar, and it is thinner than my other arm, and I do not know how to answer questions regarding it in general, especially not with children. I am stealth for the most part with everyone in my brother's life, so I do not want to explain the real reasons I have this scar, so I'm just looking for creative responses to the inevitable question. Nothing too serious, they're 4 & 6, but something realistic enough that they'll believe it.

Hi Just,

I tend to agree that kids are pretty smart. They tend to see through lies. Just keep it simple. Surgery. Surgery to fix an area the grew wrong....

I also wanted to welcome you to the site. We have some links we pass along to newly posting members. Mostly welcome info and the site's policies.

Things that you should read

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Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui

[TK9NY]

I can't imagine explaining phalloplasty to kids of any age and i dont see where it would be any of their business even if they're blood related. I certainly don't plan to explain any of my surgeries to my cousins... or even my extended family! IMO no one needs to know what surgeries you've had or why you had them. Period.

But why do you need a "creative" response? Just be simple and honest. "I had surgery, i don't want to talk about it, end of story." You can also discuss it with their mother prior to meeting them - not necessarily in detail (IE telling her what it's from) but mention that you have a scar that you'd rather not explain to them because it's personal and let her deal with reining in their questions. IF they pop up.

The more creative you get the more interesting they're probably going to find it, which means the more you're going to be hounded for details. A little story or lie may become a big one, and then you're stuck with them hanging onto you and asking you about it all the time. So stick to simple. Or have mom control them. Or both. They might be satisfied with "i had surgery" and forget about it. Or they might be hesitant to ask about it because it's an obvious scar and you're a stranger. Hard to say with kids.