NB transition help/discussion

[casimir_the_pirate_queen]

Hello everyone! My name is Casimir and I'm 22 and agender. I'm having some problems with figuring out how I want to transition and was wondering if anyone could help or maybe share their own experiences

So I'm amab and have socially transitioned and use she/her pronouns. Initially I was looking into HRT because at the time, presenting very feminine felt right to me. Looking back, I recognize that was largely in part to social pressures, but am still interested in HRT. I've gone through a lot of personal growth and gender dysphoria no longer casts a shadow in my life. I'm bigger than it now, and feel a lot happier

The problem is...now what? The dysphoria is still there, it's just gotten quieter. Currently what I do know is the facial hair has gotta go, and I find great comfort in building physical strength and being strong. I already look pretty androgynous (I suspect I may have naturally low testosterone levels due to my being pretty short, soft skin, low sex drive, lack of body hair, and with how emotionally driven I am). I don't feel the same need to go on HRT that I felt just a few months ago. All of the benefits and changes involved with HRT do sound great, but they aren't things I necessarily need or want. The potential health risks (especially since I already have a risk for heart disease) and the idea of losing muscle strength are what put me off the most. I also know I'm pretty darn comfortable in my skin nowadays. The mental shifts also sound pretty rad, but I also don't need HRT to grow in that regard either

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Does anyone else feel lost? How do you know what is or isn't the right choice?How does one navigate transition as an NB person when our own experiences vary so wildly it can be near impossible to find a role model? Normally my intuition is pretty strong in guiding me but this is alien territory

Any thoughts are appreciated

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. The non binary is difficult because it seems like nobody is alike. The best approach to presentation would be to try a little bit at a time and see how you feel about it. By taking small steps, you can always back off if something makes you uncomfortable. Another thing to consider is a gender therapist can help you explore your feelings and that might help you to understand how you wish to present.

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[casimir_the_pirate_queen]

Hi Dena

I've already done plenty of experimentation in presentation throughout college, largely to present as feminine as possible. That was also where I encountered and (at first) embraced the idea of HRT. Since then I seek more of a middle ground rather than trying to pass as a lady, and have also already seen a gender therapist. I've actually been set to see a doctor for the last 7 months but haven't gone through with it because I've had a lot of doubts and second thoughts, as well as personal growth, which has in turn led to confusion

My path (i think) is different now, but I'm unsure of where it leads or how to travel it