Wonderful, Wonderful Day

[AnnMarie2017]

This has nothing to do with what follows, but one of the most powerful songs I've ever seen in movie musicals is Jane Powell's "Wonderful Wonderful Day," in "Seven Brides For Seven Brothers." Chills, every time.



I feel I must apologize for talking about myself; but I have nowhere else to say these things.

I don't pass. I'm 60 years old. But in November, I went to Sephora for a makeover; and the woman who did me gave me a gift beyond price. She made me pretty. I'll spend the next year trying to recreate what she did for me.

It's only recently that I've begun presenting female most of the time I'm not at work. My wig and I have had a problematic relationship, but we're making progress. Today, getting ready to run errands, after putting on my face, I put on my wig. Lately, the hair has been falling in my eyes; and I never figured out how to use combs, bands or bobby pins to combat this. Well, today, I did. I managed to put two bobby pins to good use. My only purpose at the time was to keep the hair out of my face; but when I had succeeded in securing the hair, I was shocked at what I had accidentally created. My hair, pinned back, framed my face in a way it never had before; and I was pretty. I want to cry, just thinking about it.

I went out with such confidence today.

I want all the girls who don't pass to know that you don't have to pass to be pretty, or attractive. Seriously. I knew this before seeing myself today; but seeing myself was a great boost.

Then I came home and promptly burned popcorn in the microwave.

All in all, a good day. 

P.S. Isn't it great to be female? I want to get down on my knees and thank the Powers for it. So, I'm trans. So, I didn't know for nearly 60 years. So, testosterone has done its work on me. So what? This sacred privilege, this honor, this gift ... there are no words.

[Faith]

I am thrilled that you got to see yourself the same way you feel. There's nothing like that feeling.

The burnt popcorn, nature's balance. Take it with a smile and just feel good.

[virtualverny]

that part about not having to pass to be pretty really resonates with me. i feel sometimes like i don't pass, because i've got an hourglass figure and an effeminate voice, but then i catch myself in the mirror and see my beard and think about how i'm so much more masculine than i was three years ago, and i can see it radiating through me. sometimes passing isn't about how much you look like a boy/girl/nb person, but rather how much you carry yourself with love and admiration for yourself and the person you are becoming, if that makes sense 

[krobinson103]

I agree. People focus too much on passing. So what if people know you are trans? Its about being your true self and living life as you were meant to. I think i'll eventually pass ok, but till then I don't care. I also felt a very spiritual moment when I realized the problem that had been annoying me for 30 years.

[AnnMarie2017]

sometimes passing isn't about how much you look like a boy/girl/nb person, but rather how much you carry yourself with love and admiration for yourself and the person you are becoming, if that makes sense 

That's fascinating. Thank you for sharing that. I'll have to give it some thought. It occurs to me that evaluating one's appearance or impression from a static vs dynamic perspective may be influenced by one's gender -- female or male, respectively. Not that there's a hard-and-fast rule or anything; more like a tendency. Just a thought, in passing.

I marvel at you trans men. You're such a mystery to me -- just as trans women must be to you, I imagine. 

[Sarah_P]

Believe me, when I first started transitioning I was absolutely obsessed with being able to pass. After about 4 months or so I said 'who cares?'. All I wanted is to be happy, to be my true self. I can't control what others think. I recently started living full-time, and the response has been absolutely amazing, even in the small highly conservative town I live in.

[AnnMarie2017]

Believe me, when I first started transitioning I was absolutely obsessed with being able to pass. After about 4 months or so I said 'who cares?'. All I wanted is to be happy, to be my true self. I can't control what others think.

Absolutely, positively. 

I recently started living full-time, and the response has been absolutely amazing, even in the small highly conservative town I live in.

Yay!!    That is so brilliant. I've been going out in full female mode a lot more recently, almost every time I go out, now. I know there are people who don't accept, don't approve. I get stony, stiff interactions with people sometimes. But I just can't care all that much; it feels so wonderful to be me!

[pamelatransuk]

Wonderful Wonderful Day or Top of the World perhaps.

I am really happy for you AnnMarie.

Such an uplifting message also makes so many of us feel happier too!

Pamela

[AnnMarie2017]

Wonderful Wonderful Day or Top of the World perhaps.

Thanks, Pamela. Lovely name, and lovely avatar. 

Thank you for the "Top of the World" reference. I'm a *huge* Karen Carpenter fan.

[HappyMoni]

Us 60 year olds have to cheer each other on. Wonderful thread.  Love your self acceptance.
Moni

[davina61]

Yes us OAPs need to stick together . I never expect to pass but as is said its how you feel not what you look like. To old to give a fig about what others think, its ME time now

[Jessica]

Us 60 year olds have to cheer each other on. Wonderful thread.  Love your self acceptance.
Moni

And 60+ year olds
I spent my first day ever in public yesterday as a woman.  With the support of dear friends from Susan's who were with me.  It wasn't a matter of passing as much as being.

[AnnMarie2017]

I spent my first day ever in public yesterday as a woman.  With the support of dear friends from Susan's who were with me.  It wasn't a matter of passing as much as being.

That is wonderful news, Jessica. I am so happy for you.

[Denni]

I am going to lend another perspective to this thread. I am so happy for all who are able to take the step of coming out and taking that step of presenting as the woman that we have been trying to suppress for so long. The initial step of closing that door behind you and walking out into that new world has to be both exhilarating and frightening at the same time. Personally it is something that is not possible for me because of family and work and I accept that. I came out and accepted myself as trans two and a half years ago after fighting the transbeast since my childhood. Eighteen months ago I started HRT.  Prior to starting HRT I came out to my wife of over forty years as I felt that she should be part of that decision. The changes that I have experienced since starting HRT have been rewarding, enlightening, and life changing.
There are times that there is so much emphasis put on taking that step of fully transitioning that we fail to realize that there are others just as trans as they are but they are unable to take that final step. But that does not mean that they cannot also have that "Wonderful, Wonderful, Day". That is where I find myself in this transition now, each day for me is a ' wonderful, wonderful, day  and I am so thankful for that. There are many of us that will not be able to start HRT, that does not make them any less trans. Acceptance of oneself starts from within and that alone can make for an individual to be able to have  that day as they take that step. We are all individuals and we are all different at the same time. Kudo's to those taking that step of RLE, kudo's also to those accepting themselves.
May we all have a "Wonderful, Wonderful, Day"

[Laurie]

Hi Denni,

  I just wanted to say that you shared a wonderful point of view. For many of us for one reason or another they do not do all the is possible to become who they are inside. What's important is that we take those steps there are what we need to realize who we are for ourselves and those circumstances we are in. It is what you need to do  that matters for each of us.
  I myself, am on hrt and  living full time and I know inside it is right for me. The cost has been high to reach this point in a cost that goes beyond money. It is hard for me. I have also not been able to accept myself as I have self issues, self esteem, self hate and internalized transphobia. These keep me from what others say they see in me and accepting myself in spite of knowing what I am doing is right.
  Where I go from here I do not know. But each of us must find our own balance in what works for us.

Hugs,
  Laurie