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Does getting stared at ever get any easier?

Started by Courtney.lane408, February 10, 2018, 03:28:09 PM

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TR

I have often told my partner that I am being stared at... She said I am just be paranoia. But she then took notice and its true.. People, partially females, stare at me as I walk past them at the shopping centre. I wear male clothes nothing special, nothing to suggest I am transgender, yet people stare at me. They have always stared at me.. I look up and there they are, staring at me.. I have no idea why... But, if I see a great looking girl, I too stare at them.. LOL, wishful thinking I looked like them.. But I am not a great looking person, I am just average looking.. I had more obvious staring when I was teen, by boys.. Since I looked female... but not quite.. Perhaps I confused them.. People are often drawn to those that are different. Perhaps that's it.. At least they are not nasty towards me so I have learnt to ignore it.. But I do find it strange..

TR...
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Kylo

Are you tall for a woman? Because I've noticed people staring at tall women in general and commenting on it aloud. Sometimes I think it's just a case of "blimey, she's tall" surprised, and others it might be that they are more aware of trans people now and are trying to spot them in tall woman or short men, etc.

Being stared at gets easier if you do certain things to improve your confidence. People used to stare at me all the time, way before any transition and I didn't go out of my way to look masculine or anything. I figured it might have been because of the way I was carrying myself in public sometimes, people picked up on it and told me. I guess I was stressed out and expressed it with a death glare. But the same can be said for someone who looks nervous, excited, and so on. If I see someone who's body language is a bit different from everyone else's I'll check them out too.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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Courtney.lane408

Quote from: Kylo on February 13, 2018, 11:02:01 AM
Are you tall for a woman? Because I've noticed people staring at tall women in general and commenting on it aloud. Sometimes I think it's just a case of "blimey, she's tall" surprised, and others it might be that they are more aware of trans people now and are trying to spot them in tall woman or short men, etc.

Being stared at gets easier if you do certain things to improve your confidence. People used to stare at me all the time, way before any transition and I didn't go out of my way to look masculine or anything. I figured it might have been because of the way I was carrying myself in public sometimes, people picked up on it and told me. I guess I was stressed out and expressed it with a death glare. But the same can be said for someone who looks nervous, excited, and so on. If I see someone who's body language is a bit different from everyone else's I'll check them out too.
Yeah unfortunately I'm 6'0" :( but I swear my hips are getting wider so I'm hoping for an inch or so of shrinkage maybe? Girl can dream haha.


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Jennifer.Diamonds

   The stares? They haven't gone away for me yet.. But it's my own fault really. I could probably blend in better if I wanted to. But I like showing a bit of skin while I'm still young lol
   Ok on a serious note though, when I first went full time, I got looked at for other reasons. My hair wasn't long enough yet, my makeup skills were horrid, my outfits looked like they were borrowed from a friend.. Transition is so much more than throwing on a wig and red lipstick and calling yourself a woman LOL We have to go figure ourselves out. It takes time. You're looking great girl. Own it. Let them stare.. I'm sure it's 50/50 on whether they're just jealous anyhow. Go have fun. :)
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FinallyMichelle

Not for me it hasn't. I thought that it did when I first went full time, but then the stares stopped. I got comfortable being invisible unfortunately but now the last 6 months the stares are getting worse again. I am working at it but it was just a week ago that it really had me freaking out. In a way, for me, it is worse now. Many people have that 'trans is a deformity' attitude, it's was blessing because it kept some people from staring to avoid being rude. I seem to have lost that, no one minds being rude at all.

I guess that it is a big shrug, I don't know. It should and does I guess..
Okay, it's like this. You got this. You do, you might not know it now but it will come with time on hormones and work. It just happens. As I am learning now though, people stare and we can't read their minds to know why, so somehow we have to manage with that. I don't seem to have it down yet but I will. 😊 It's a small price to pay to be able to live my life the way I do now, don't you think?

I hope things get easier for you soon.
Hugs

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TonyaW

I haven't really noticed but I'm sure they are there.  I'm 6'3" so even if I'm passing (probably not) I'm  sure to get the stares that tall women get.  Pretty sure my height is why I don't notice.  I knew I would stand out  no matter how I looked so I had to convince myself that I didn't care if others looked at me and what they thought of me in order to start being in public as myself. 

I am surprised that I have yet to run in to any ->-bleeped-<- that needs to make a snide remark or whatever towards me.  I've been full time since August when I clued work in,  and was out everywhere but work for a couple months before that. 

Leads me to believe that most people don't give a rat's ass and aren't as ->-bleeped-<-ty to people in person as they might vote in my area of the country.  And just maybe I'm blending in better than I thought. 


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Mary1

Quote from: TonyaW on February 16, 2018, 06:57:17 AM
I haven't really noticed but I'm sure they are there.  I'm 6'3" so even if I'm passing (probably not) I'm  sure to get the stares that tall women get.  Pretty sure my height is why I don't notice.  I knew I would stand out  no matter how I looked so I had to convince myself that I didn't care if others looked at me and what they thought of me in order to start being in public as myself. 

I am surprised that I have yet to run in to any ->-bleeped-<- that needs to make a snide remark or whatever towards me.  I've been full time since August when I clued work in,  and was out everywhere but work for a couple months before that. 

Leads me to believe that most people don't give a rat's ass and aren't as ->-bleeped-<-ty to people in person as they might vote in my area of the country.  And just maybe I'm blending in better than I thought. 


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Good chance you just don't notice...

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