Re: What made you happy today? For mtF members only, please. 3.0

[Northern Star Girl]

Congrats on being hit on! Do you have any interest?

Honestly, I was floored by the unsolicited attention.  When I calm down a little I will figure out my interest level and how and if I wish to proceed.  He was rather tall, trim and good looking, however he sure looked a little young to me .... or perhaps he just has one of the young looking baby faces like some do ...   Since I live in a small town and now he knows where my business is and where the coffee shop is that I frequent I am certain I will bump into him again...

[SiobhánF]

I finally got my first laser appointment scheduled (Groupon is amazing!). I figure that I'll do laser first while I'm waiting on my first endo appointment. Then, After a few months of E, I can start thinking about electro.

[epvanbeveren]

Good choice. I started with laser as well, can't start to soon to get rid of the dark hairs.

[JulieAllana]

Was out looking for bargains at the thrift store and I got 2 ma'ams and a her. 

    Julie

[SiobhánF]

Good choice. I started with laser as well, can't start to soon to get rid of the dark hairs.

I can't wait. ^_^

[Artesia]

http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcnn.it%2F2BS03bI&h=ATO0O64PtPLDA04a2xmoEQuOyEhX0Z10WDhhJ8EEAMyevDQ5AhqhSBQpldc_hYqdfSma7FWTX8LS0_pYodRC0UxrGmygZrVa54zPfOR22O201VQCnvNGSTaiClH33tQ&s=1

This made me happy!

Hope the link works.

[itsApril]

http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fcnn.it%2F2BS03bI&h=ATO0O64PtPLDA04a2xmoEQuOyEhX0Z10WDhhJ8EEAMyevDQ5AhqhSBQpldc_hYqdfSma7FWTX8LS0_pYodRC0UxrGmygZrVa54zPfOR22O201VQCnvNGSTaiClH33tQ&s=1

This made me happy!

Hope the link works.

Good morning, Artesia!

Here's a more direct link to the item you brought up:

https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/26/politics/first-transgender-recruit-join-us-military/index.html

First transgender recruit signs up to join US military
CNN.com
By Ryan Browne
Updated 12:41 PM ET, Mon February 26, 2018

"Washington (CNN)The Pentagon confirmed Monday that the first transgender person has signed a contract to join the US military, a development made possible after a federal judge ruled that the military must accept transgender recruits. The ruling came after President Donald Trump announced his desire to prevent transgender people from serving in a July tweet.

"'The Department of Defense confirms that as of February 23, 2018, there is one transgender individual under contract for service in the US Military,' Maj. Dave Eastburn told CNN. . . ."


Kind of funny that the article seems to imply that this is the only trans person in the military, when there are and have been thousands.  But it's quite a game-changer for an OPENLY trans person to JOIN under the new policy.

[Northern Star Girl]

« quote author=Aspiringperson Reply #1457 on: Yesterday at 11:52:08 am »Quote:
"Early this morning when I was unlocking and opening my office a male acquaintance came right in to greet me and give me an espresso and a bagel.  He kept on saying how nice I was when we had met and talked briefly last week and how I looked so pretty this morning...  he also was hinting about taking me out to dinner this week....   I had only met him once this last week when I was leaving a local coffee shop having breakfast and he must have figured out where my business is located when I answered his question about what I do.
This indeed made me happy today!! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
« quote author=p Reply #1457 on: Yesterday at 11:52:08 am »
Congrats on being hit on! Do you have any interest?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Honestly, I was floored by the unsolicited attention.  When I calm down a little I will figure out my interest level and how and if I wish to proceed.  He was rather tall, trim and good looking, however he sure looked a little young to me .... or perhaps he just has one of the young looking baby faces like some do ...   Since I live in a small town and now he knows where my business is and where the coffee shop is that I frequent I am certain I will bump into him again...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

... Today, a continuation... Well, the plot thickens.  "He" showed up at my business again today to ask me if I wanted to go to dinner with him this week.  I told him I would let him know soon...  I am really temped, he is tall, good looking, well groomed, polite... he was wearing nice dress/casual clothes both yesterday when I met him for the first time and today so I don't think he is a logger, or construction worker, fisherman, etc like so many are around here... but that really doesn't matter at this point.  Next time I see him or have a conversation with him I will be certain to ask.
I have several new problems now:  When I started living full-time at the end of 2016 I moved up here to a small town and started my own business and as far as I know, no one in my new town knows about my transition. There seems to be no question that I pass 100% of the time. 
Obviously if I go to dinner with him, during that dinner outing I will absolutely tell him about myself... the additional problem is ... how long before everyone in town knows about my past male life, which by the way I am proud to have transitioned but in this small and conservative town full of people that are outdoors men, loggers, fisherman, etc... I am holding my breath that this does not affect my business significantly.??
For now I think that I will politely refuse but my future responses are uncertain.

The several lady friends that I frequently go to the local gym with do not know that I am a trans-woman, I seemed to have passed the frightful locker room scenario (very carefully, I may add)  Here are some pics of me at the local gym. 
(first pic: I stacked 49 inches of weights in record time.)


****PLEASE: Any advice or comments from you gals that transitioned to full-time would be most welcome

[PollyQMcLovely]

Any advice or comments from you gals that transitioned to full-time would be most welcome

How small is the town? If for some reason half found out and disapproved would that make having meaningful interactions with the other half difficult?

Edit: I shouldn't have posted, I haven't transitioned to full-time. I was just curious.

[SiobhánF]

Obviously if I go to dinner with him, during that dinner outing I will absolutely tell him about myself... the additional problem is ... how long before everyone in town knows about my past male life, which by the way I am proud to have transitioned but in this small and conservative town full of people that are outdoors men, loggers, fisherman, etc... I am holding my breath that this does not affect my business significantly.??

First off, hell yeah you pass!

I would probably subtly ask him how he felt about the LGBT community, in general. Then, somehow let the conversation evolve to the trans community. If he's really negative about it, don't get defensive, but decide how you want to go about it from there. If you don't feel safe or if you're not comfortable moving forward with things, finish the date and don't see him again. That's how I would do it. Then again, I haven't fully transitioned, so take my words with a grain of salt. It's all totally up to your judgement.

[Roll]

First off, hell yeah you pass!

I would probably subtly ask him how he felt about the LGBT community, in general. Then, somehow let the conversation evolve to the trans community. If he's really negative about it, don't get defensive, but decide how you want to go about it from there. If you don't feel safe or if you're not comfortable moving forward with things, finish the date and don't see him again. That's how I would do it. Then again, I haven't fully transitioned, so take my words with a grain of salt. It's all totally up to your judgement.

Just be "reading" (ie: have it up at all times ready to go) that article about the first openly transgender soldier and use it as a gauge

[I Am Jess]

****PLEASE: Any advice or comments from you gals that transitioned to full-time would be most welcome[/size]

I've been out for almost 3 years now and I've only once never told the person up front.  My view is if they can't handle the fact I'm trans up front then there is probably not a relationship to be had. 

But I live in Los Angeles and I am very open about myself.  Partially because I transitioned on the job and I've been working with some of the same people for almost 30 years and so I really couldn't go stealth even if I wanted to.  So I can say my situation is vastly different from yours. 

Having grown up in a very small town I can tell you that as soon as one person knows about your background, the  whole town will know shortly after that.  People will not be able to keep the information to themselves.  So you will need to think very hard before you tell anyone.  It will probably be better to take your time and get to know the people in the community and let them get to know you.  Once you have established yourself and people know and like you then they will probably be much less judgmental about your prior life.  Then again it is Alaska where people go so that they can be individualistic so they may not care at all.

[Northern Star Girl]

How small is the town? If for some reason half found out and disapproved would that make having meaningful interactions with the other half difficult?

Edit: I shouldn't have posted, I haven't transitioned to full-time. I was just curious.

@ PollyOMcLovely:  No problem... I am glad that you posted with your comments about my situation.  I am open to all suggestions... Thank you for your thoughts.  Yeah, very small town, depending on the time of year the population is 1500 to 2500.   I have been here for 16 months and have already built good friendships and acquaintances... there have been a few friends here that in the last couple months I was considering telling them... if one person knows, all will know soon enough...  I am getting prepared to just tell everyone soon so they here from me, not the grapevine gossip sources.  I think it will be better that way.
Aspiringperson

[Northern Star Girl]

First off, hell yeah you pass!

I would probably subtly ask him how he felt about the LGBT community, in general. Then, somehow let the conversation evolve to the trans community. If he's really negative about it, don't get defensive, but decide how you want to go about it from there. If you don't feel safe or if you're not comfortable moving forward with things, finish the date and don't see him again. That's how I would do it. Then again, I haven't fully transitioned, so take my words with a grain of salt. It's all totally up to your judgement.

SiobhánF:  Thank you for your comments and good suggestions. 
I appreciate you posting your ideas.
Aspiringperson

[KathyLauren]

You should assess his trustworthiness before you tell him.  If you feel you can trust him not to blab, then tell him about your past.  If you can't trust him, then he doesn't need to know.

How do you assess his trustworthiness?  Heck, if I could answer that, I'd be rich and famous.

[Northern Star Girl]

I've been out for almost 3 years now and I've only once never told the person up front.  My view is if they can't handle the fact I'm trans up front then there is probably not a relationship to be had. 

Having grown up in a very small town I can tell you that as soon as one person knows about your background, the  whole town will know shortly after that.  People will not be able to keep the information to themselves.  So you will need to think very hard before you tell anyone.  It will probably be better to take your time and get to know the people in the community and let them get to know you.  Once you have established yourself and people know and like you then they will probably be much less judgmental about your prior life.  Then again it is Alaska where people go so that they can be individualistic so they may not care at all.

@ I am Jess:   Thanks for your input.  You are right about small town gossip, if one knows, all will know soon ... and I would rather they here from me directly so I have been planning very soon to just tell everyone I come across right away but this recent situation and a dinner date kinda brings it to a head.
Thanks for your reply.
Aspiringperson

[Northern Star Girl]

Just be "reading" (ie: have it up at all times ready to go) that article about the first openly transgender soldier and use it as a gauge

@ Roll:  Thanks for your response!!!!   I think that I am deciding to so what I have been planning all along...  Instead of letting people find out via gossip I am thinking of just going to tell everyone I come across myself.  That way they will hear it directly from me.   I have been here for 16 months, have a network of friends, acquaintances and business clients and as far as I know, no one knows...  yet!!!
Thanks again for responding.
Aspiringperson

[PollyQMcLovely]

You are brave. Best of luck.

[Northern Star Girl]

You should assess his trustworthiness before you tell him.  If you feel you can trust him not to blab, then tell him about your past.  If you can't trust him, then he doesn't need to know.

How do you assess his trustworthiness?  Heck, if I could answer that, I'd be rich and famous.

@ KathyLauren:  Thanks for your reply. I have been considering what you said and I agree that he doesn't have to know especially if I don't date him. You are right, how does one assess his trustworthiness, oh yeah, we would be rich and famous if the answer was found.   
The town I live in is very small, 1500 to 2500 depending on the time of year.  I have been here for 16 months as a full time female and I feel that no one knows about my male past due to the fact I pass so well... even the ladies I go to the gym with. 
I have been thinking that instead of people finding out via the small town grape vine that perhaps I should just tell everyone I come across so they here it directly from me....  I just don't know but soon I need to do something after living here and being a part of the town for 16 months.

****This would all be much easier if I didn't pass so well!!!
Thanks again.
Aspiringperson

[Sarah_P]

****PLEASE: Any advice or comments from you gals that transitioned to full-time would be most welcome[/size]

Well, I've only been full-time for a month, and have zero dating experience, so I don't know how much I can help. But I also live in a small (well, 8000, so larger than yours) town (in Kansas) that's really conservative (or so I thought?) and religious. Since I've gone full-time, the reaction has been astoundingly good. This may not be the case with your town, but people can really surprise you. But yes, once someone knows everyone will soon.
Do any of your new friends in town know the guy in question? Can they tell you what he's like, so you can get an idea how he might react?