my mum said something horrible to me and i can't stop thinking about it

[virtualverny]

hello, friends! i will probably delete this/ask a moderator to delete this soon because i just want some quick reassurance, but here it is.
as you may know, i am a convert to judaism. i made this decision after much thought and consideration as through experience and research i believe it is the religion for me - as is the same with any convert to any religion.
i was the victim of a crime a while ago, and when i sought help for said crime - i did not take it to the police - i had to tell my parents some personal details about my romantic and sexual life, out of fear that the person who did it would find out and enact revenge on me.
the other day, my parents decided that the best way to get through the knowledge that somebody had betrayed my trust and committed this crime would be to write up a list of very strict rules so that i 'didn't get myself into that situation again', because i am 'out of control' as can be seen by 'the mess i'm in'. i was upset by this, because it was not my fault that somebody else had made the choice to commit a crime against me, it was the person who did its fault. i went up to my room so i could cry and feel sorry for myself, but my mum followed me. she started to yell at me that the only reason i 'became transgender' and decided to convert was because i apparently derive 'some sort of sick pleasure' from being oppressed. she told me i clearly have some sort of mental sickness that makes me want to be a minority. i'm autistic so i think a lot about what other people say, and this really really hurt me. i can't ask her to apologise because last time i did that she and my dad laughed at me and told me i was 'pushing it', and it's really bothering me. i know i'm trans, and i know i converted for the right reasons, but is this really how people perceive me?
i was wondering if any of you had experiences with similar accusations - being told your transness is a fetish, or a desire for attention, et cetera. and if any of you have words of advice on how to deal with it, because i know for a fact that despite my parents feigning progressiveness, they hate having a trans son, and i will have to get through this on my own. 

[Sparklefish]

Hi hun.I am so sorry you went through that with your mom.I am not trans but have a trans son but I am a rape survivor and advocate.I want to tell you that it isn't your fault whatever happened to you. Even if you made bad choices no one deserves to victimized.My parents reacted badly to my rape too and my dad punished me which had really negative effects on me so I get it.I don't know how your parents see you but I am sure the world doesn't think of you as a victim.You are a beautiful man with lots to offer the world.I am glad you have found some comfort in religion.That is outstanding!I am sending you a big cyber hug.You WILL get through this!If you haven't already maybe counseling would help.I know it helped me work through my pain. Good luck!

[Janes Groove]

First of all I think a person is transgender because of their spirit.  I'm a woman, because I have a female soul.  Nothing I can do to change that.  Kind of like nothing you can do about needing oxygen to survive. It's just the way it is. 
Second, everybody gets to choose their own spirituality.  That's a basic human right.
Thirdly, families can be brutal and sometimes we just have to put up with them. It's the cost of belonging.  As with my family one can't win arguments with them by arguing, only by showing them over the years that this is who you are.
Sorry you were the victim of a crime. I was robbed recently and it sucks.

[Lady Sarah]

I have known trans people with parents in denial over the whole trans thing, trying to put the blame wherever they saw fit. I was blamed for at least one of them, even tho she started transition years before we met. There is no rhyme or reason for it. Perhaps your parents need education.
Crime happens. I have been physically assaulted by another trans woman over jealousy. I had also been mugged for refusing to buy drugs. Neither happed "because I am trans". It can teach you about certain scenarios to avoid. After getting mugged, I never walked down that street again. You probably know to avoid that person that abused your trust. That is a learning process.
As for religion, your parents probably feel betrayed. However, it is your path to follow. You are free to worship in any way you see fit. If Judaism is your cup of tea, there is nothing wrong with it.

[Doreen]

When I showed my mom my hormone levels at 21, natural.. female... she told me she wished I'd never been born.  And then even more hateful things about gods perfect creation.  Fast forward 20 years to now... And she says this only occurred because I was in 'rebellion' to her... I literally laughed.  Then she changed it to rebellion to God. 

Actually if God does exist , he has a LOT of answering for.   XY gonadal dysgensis is certainly no blessing.. neither is being born trans.  If they can't accept it, give them time... but realize some people never change sadly. You have to live your life for the one person in it..you, not them.