I love my new name.
I feel like I've told this story before. I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself.
The name I use here, and everywhere else I am on-line, is not my new name. I thought it might be, in the beginning; but it didn't stick. I changed all three of my names: first, middle and last. I've always disliked all of them intensely (a lady isn't supposed to say "hate," lol).
My first name is somewhat exotic. I ran into it many years ago in an obscure novel and fell in love with it. I had always planned to bestow it upon a daughter; but, since I ended up not having one, I took it for myself.
My middle name is a variation on another fictional character, this one from television. When I first embraced the fact that I would rather have been born female, years before realizing I was transgender, I asked myself, if I could be a woman, what woman would I want to be? And I didn't even have to think; I knew. She sprang into my brain instantly, and I was in outer space. It was my first experience of gender euphoria, and I was high for days. This fictional character is me; she is so much me that when I look at her photograph it's like looking in a mirror. She expresses all the repressed qualities in me. If I were undamaged and uninhibited, I would be she.
My last name is very common; I did that intentionally. What I did not realize, however, is how my names express who I am, like a Russian matryoshka doll. My last name is understated, which is the image I present to the world. My middle name, which is the one I go by, is the me you get to know if we are acquainted. My first name, which I do not use socially, is the inner me, the wild, expressive, unmasked me. As I say, I didn't plan it that way, but it works out just so.
I'm glad this topic came up. I got my new driver's license today (Sex: F!), and I'm very happy.
