Chelsea's Transition Adventure

[Chelsea]

Little Update on yesterday's voice therapy. I was so nervous when I got there that my hands were shaking. It took me 15 mins to find out where to park but I made it on time. I was a little calmer when I got in the office because there was no one else in the building but me and her. I just knew that I was going to make a fool of my self. After all the initial paperwork was finished she had me mimic odd sounds she was making into a microphone. After that she would hold a note on a piano and then had me make the same note. She kept going up one note at a time having me do the same.
These test lasted over an hour and a half. At one point she said that she was getting way ahead of herself because I was doing so well. At the end of the session she told me that she thinks I can do a easy 185hz. Right after that the stupid Estradiol I am taking caused my eyes to start leaking everywhere. lol I was so happy. I still don't have the confidence in myself she does. She sent me home with daily voice exercises to do for 15 mins a day and that's about all for this small update.

Hugs,
        Cheslea

[Donna]

Well done. I'll head down that road one day. You got to hate the eye ball leakage.
Happy or sad I get it about the waterworks part
Keep on posting

[Northern Star Girl]

Little Update on yesterday's voice therapy. I was so nervous when I got there that my hands were shaking. It took me 15 mins to find out where to park but I made it on time. I was a little calmer when I got in the office because there was no one else in the building but me and her. I just knew that I was going to make a fool of my self. After all the initial paperwork was finished she had me mimic odd sounds she was making into a microphone. After that she would hold a note on a piano and then had me make the same note. She kept going up one note at a time having me do the same.
These test lasted over an hour and a half. At one point she said that she was getting way ahead of herself because I was doing so well. At the end of the session she told me that she thinks I can do a easy 185hz. Right after that the stupid Estradiol I am taking caused my eyes to start leaking everywhere. lol I was so happy. I still don't have the confidence in myself she does. She sent me home with daily voice exercises to do for 15 mins a day and that's about all for this small update.

Hugs,
        Cheslea

Cheslea:  Wow, that is great news.  Your new voice will go a long ways to your passing ability as you continue your transition journey.   
Practice, practice, practice....  if one is not careful it can be way too easy to slip back into one's old male voice, particularly when surprised, or way too relaxed... or nervous....
 
Again, practice, practice, practice.   If you are still presenting in male-mode some of the time than you will need to be extremely aware of who you are talking to and your desired gender voice at the time.  Once you get to living Full-time female that problem thankfully goes away.... but there still can be an unfortunate "accident" unless you continue to be very very careful.

I am enjoying your "Adventure" thread and your updates.

Hugs,
Danielle

[Laurie]

  Hi Girlfriend, voice lessons can be quite fun. I found myself laughing at some of my efforts to sound the way my coach wanted from me. Then there are the silly things they give you to exercise and practice as homework.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Chelsea]

Thank you everyone for the comments.

It looks like its going smooth for me but that's not all true. I have a brother that is in his mid 50's and my Mother that does not know about my transition at all. I see my mother every day and my brother 5 days week. Pretty soon they will probably start to notice something, its just a matter of time. I already am past the point of wearing a T-shirt outside and summer is coming. My mother just had a mini stroke about two months ago and the doctor told the family that she can't be under any stress. I do not want to tell her about this and add to her worries. Three months ago my brother went to the doctor because he was having chest pains. Turns out it was not his heart but a two inch cancer tumor in his lung pressing against his heart. I think he is going to be ok from what the doctor is telling me. I have been hanging out with him a lot lately to help because the chemo makes him weak. There is no way I can put more worries on him either. Just last night he told me that my face looks different like I was younger or something. I stayed calm but that got my nerves worked up. I cant hide forever and he is very very "old school" I know this will turn out bad. I am absolutely terrified about this!  These are the only two people that is keeping me from coming out to the world right now. My nephew is helping me come up with the best way to let him know. He said the same thing. " This is not going to be good."
Thank you everyone for reading. I am up for any suggestions.

Hugs,
        Cheslea

[Laurie]

  Hi Girlfriend,

  I can see your cause for concern over coming out to your Mother and brother. I do not have a suggestion on how to resolve the problems there. I have a terrible track record in this area as you know. All I can do is point out that many other people that had your same concerns and were surprised by the acceptance they did receive from those they had thought would never have accepted them. Not everyone have less that good outcomes telling relative like I have. More have had just the opposite. What it comes down to is overcoming your fears and just doing it. They will find out eventually and the sooner you tell them the sooner you will stop agonizing over it. The unknown is the stressful part. Once you have it out in the open you can deal with the reactions good or bad.
  I wish you  happy days and good transitioning progress.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Chelsea]

I had another good "coming out" last night. I have came out to a few people now and its not really got any easier on me. I always get really nervous before telling anyone because I don't know what the reaction will be. Guess that's normal.
We have a Pilot gas station/store at the end of our road that I visit every single day. Over the last 10 or so years I have got to know everyone there and even hang out with a few of them. Last night while I had the courage I figured now is the time. Two girls were working last night and one of them was the owners daughter. There were no customers in the store and she said "hey whats up?" I ask her is there somewhere we can talk for a sec? She takes me in the back office and I told her that we have been friends for years and I think its time for me to tell you something. She looked at me like I had 6 months to live or something. I said relax I'm fine..... I'm transgender. She was quiet for just a second and started to smile and I seen the tears in her eyes. She grabs me up with a big hug and now we both are crying.  We sit down and talk for a few minuets and she ask me all kinds of questions about being transgender and was so excited for me. I left there feeling really good.
I know this is not really a exciting story but one day when I'm further along in my transition I can look back and remember these good times in my life.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Laurie]

I had another good "coming out" last night. ... She was quiet for just a second and started to smile and I seen the tears in her eyes. She grabs me up with a big hug and now we both are crying.  We sit down and talk for a few minuets and she ask me all kinds of questions about being transgender and was so excited for me. I left there feeling really good.
I know this is not really a exciting story but one day when I'm further along in my transition I can look back and remember these good times in my life.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

   What do you mean this is not an exciting story? Every good coming out is exciting Chelsea. Not only is it good for you but it give all the rest of us that have comings out to do hope that our own will go as well. You just keep sharing your happiness with us . Y'hear?

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Donna]

Any good coming out is an exciting story. If will
Let others know it's ok to open up. You just have to love all the hugs. I've never been hugged so often by female friends and acquaintances. It does feel amazing.

[Northern Star Girl]

I had another good "coming out" last night. I have came out to a few people now and its not really got any easier on me. I always get really nervous before telling anyone because I don't know what the reaction will be. Guess that's normal.
We have a Pilot gas station/store at the end of our road that I visit every single day. Over the last 10 or so years I have got to know everyone there and even hang out with a few of them. Last night while I had the courage I figured now is the time. Two girls were working last night and one of them was the owners daughter. There were no customers in the store and she said "hey whats up?" I ask her is there somewhere we can talk for a sec? She takes me in the back office and I told her that we have been friends for years and I think its time for me to tell you something. She looked at me like I had 6 months to live or something. I said relax I'm fine..... I'm transgender. She was quiet for just a second and started to smile and I seen the tears in her eyes. She grabs me up with a big hug and now we both are crying.  We sit down and talk for a few minuets and she ask me all kinds of questions about being transgender and was so excited for me. I left there feeling really good.
I know this is not really a exciting story but one day when I'm further along in my transition I can look back and remember these good times in my life.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

Chelsea... that certainly WAS INDEED AN EXCITING STORY... and a wonderful experience for you... and for your friend.   
It just doesn't get any better than this when telling someone that you are transitioning.
Do you think that she had suspicions or do you think that she did not know??

I am loving following your thread... please continue to keep it updated for all of us, for me!!!!

Wishing you the best and HUGS,
Danielle

[Chelsea]

Chelsea... that certainly WAS INDEED AN EXCITING STORY... and a wonderful experience for you... and for your friend.   
It just doesn't get any better than this when telling someone that you are transitioning.
Do you think that she had suspicions or do you think that she did not know??

I am loving following your thread... please continue to keep it updated for all of us, for me!!!!

Wishing you the best and HUGS,
Danielle

She had no idea. Me and her hang out on the 4th of July last year with her family and had a great time with fireworks. I told her that I've tried to be such a "Man" all my life that I got pretty good at it.  I'm so glad that they are accepting of me. I was in the store this morning and it felt like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. 

Hugs,
         Chelsea

[Northern Star Girl]

She had no idea. Me and her hang out on the 4th of July last year with her family and had a great time with fireworks. I told her that I've tried to be such a "Man" all my life that I got pretty good at it.  I'm so glad that they are accepting of me. I was in the store this morning and it felt like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. 

Hugs,
         Chelsea

Chelsea: Oh for sure, per my experience lately I know exactly how heavy that weight is and it is a wonderful experience to get that weight off of your shoulders!!!
Thanks for telling all of us about your good report.
Danielle

[pamelatransuk]

Thank you Chelsea. You give so many of us courage and motivation for when we decide to come out. Also congratulations on starting Voice Therapy.

Hugs

Pamela

[Chelsea]

Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. I am scared to death. Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.

Hugs,
        Chelsea



Little pic of me this morning.

[Jessica]

I had another good "coming out" last night. I have came out to a few people now and its not really got any easier on me. I always get really nervous before telling anyone because I don't know what the reaction will be. Guess that's normal.
We have a Pilot gas station/store at the end of our road that I visit every single day. Over the last 10 or so years I have got to know everyone there and even hang out with a few of them. Last night while I had the courage I figured now is the time. Two girls were working last night and one of them was the owners daughter. There were no customers in the store and she said "hey whats up?" I ask her is there somewhere we can talk for a sec? She takes me in the back office and I told her that we have been friends for years and I think its time for me to tell you something. She looked at me like I had 6 months to live or something. I said relax I'm fine..... I'm transgender. She was quiet for just a second and started to smile and I seen the tears in her eyes. She grabs me up with a big hug and now we both are crying.  We sit down and talk for a few minuets and she ask me all kinds of questions about being transgender and was so excited for me. I left there feeling really good.
I know this is not really a exciting story but one day when I'm further along in my transition I can look back and remember these good times in my life.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

Wow Chelsea, just wow!

[Jessica]

Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. I am scared to death. Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.

Hugs,
        Chelsea



Little pic of me this morning.

Baby steps become strides!

[Laurie]

Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. I am scared to death. Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.

Hugs,
        Chelsea



Little pic of me this morning.

  Chelsea Hun, You are beautiful. Had I been able to look as good as you do I would have had no problems going full time in public with the exception of the fears of coming out to people who knew me. Your therapist is right in encouraging you to let Chelsea free.
  I think you will find that letting Chelsea out for a ride will be exhilarating. You will find your car is an extension of your home ie "a safe place". You are still insulated withing your car from others. It is still a personal space. Yes, people will see you but they can't get to you. It will be frightening at first but you will quickly get over that. Then you will LOVE being out driving as yourself. Take my word for it Hun. I've had thousands of miles behind the wheel as myself long before I found the support of Susan's members. You will love it. Your major obstacle will be your fear of being seen getting to and from you driveway and into and out of the house. But Hun, that gets easier and easier the more you let Chelsea free.
  Go for a ride and let Chelsea free!

Hugs,
  Laurie
 

[Northern Star Girl]

Yesterday I had my 4th therapy appointment. So my therapist ask me when I plan on going full time. I told her that I would like to wait for the HRT for at least two years. She said "That's and awful long time to get to be yourself." While I have to agree with her, I am not comfortable enough at this point to go out into public. She said that I could come and see her as Chelsea also. I told her that I would meet her in the middle and going out in the car first just to see how it feels. I am scared to death. Today was a beautiful morning so I woke up and made my GF coffee and went outside as Chelsea for the first time just to walk around the yard some. I have to say it felt great! My neighbor was outside mowing the yard but our house is a few hundred feet from the road. Hes probably going to ask me who the girl was in my yard today. I plan on taking a trip through town soon. Baby steps I guess.
Thank all of you for reading my chit chat.

Hugs,
        Chelsea



Little pic of me this morning.

Chelsea.   Your fun and good news update was a joy for me to read.... and your beautiful picture was, well, you are beautiful.   
I am most envious that you are wearing spring and summer clothes and your weather where you live looks so nice and warm.
Here, the temps are still quite chilly so my outfits currently are coats and hats still.  I know that the warmer weather is coming here soon... I am just getting impatient.
Again, thanks for your update and your picture showing your pretty self.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Chelsea]

Baby steps become strides!

I hope your right Jessica. It makes me a nervous wreck just thinking about going out. 

  Chelsea Hun, You are beautiful. Had I been able to look as good as you do I would have had no problems going full time in public with the exception of the fears of coming out to people who knew me. Your therapist is right in encouraging you to let Chelsea free.
  I think you will find that letting Chelsea out for a ride will be exhilarating. You will find your car is an extension of your home ie "a safe place". You are still insulated withing your car from others. It is still a personal space. Yes, people will see you but they can't get to you. It will be frightening at first but you will quickly get over that. Then you will LOVE being out driving as yourself. Take my word for it Hun. I've had thousands of miles behind the wheel as myself long before I found the support of Susan's members. You will love it. Your major obstacle will be your fear of being seen getting to and from you driveway and into and out of the house. But Hun, that gets easier and easier the more you let Chelsea free.
  Go for a ride and let Chelsea free!

Hugs,
  Laurie

Thank you Laurie,:) I'm slowly working my way up to full time. I am my worst critic. It took me about 25 pictures before I found one that looked ok to me. I don't know if I will ever look good enough to myself. I have this thing with my face that I just do not like. I have seen many peoples faces change on HRT so I hope it helps me on that. This waiting game is no fun. 

Chelsea.   Your fun and good news update was a joy for me to read.... and your beautiful picture was, well, you are beautiful.   
I am most envious that you are wearing spring and summer clothes and your weather where you live looks so nice and warm.
Here, the temps are still quite chilly so my outfits currently are coats and hats still.  I know that the warmer weather is coming here soon... I am just getting impatient.
Again, thanks for your update and your picture showing your pretty self.
Hugs,
Danielle

Thank you Danielle. It has been really beautiful today. Its 71° and not a cloud in the sky. I took off work today to enjoy it as Chelsea for the first time. Best decision I have made this week.



Hugs for Everyone,
                              Chelsea

[Laurie]

Well Chelsea did you go for that ride?