Chelsea's Transition Adventure

[Chelsea]

Well my voice therapy went great. I had some improvement and the goal now is 190hz so that's a improvement.
I would give more details but I am really bummed. I know I said I don't get that way often but, there is one thing that does it. Weight. I got back home all happy because I done a good job at voice therapy and got on the scale for some reason and I have lost 3 more pounds. That makes 14 pounds sense starting HRT lost. I need to go the other way. I was told HRT would help with weight gain.

I even have had painful events through out life just because of my weight. One for example in Myrtle Beach, SC in 1989 walking on the beach at night minding my own business. These two guys I never have seen in my life came up and told me to my face I looked like a Ethiopian, laughed and walked away. This little episode still haunts me today and cut me deep. All because I have been underweight. This is one of the main reasons I have not "come out" fully.

When I got out of high school I weighed 108 and stayed that way for years. I have been to more than enough doctors through the years, had my thyroid checked more than once. I also had my sister who is a RN give me a few (you girls are gonna hate this) testosterone shots to help gain weight. She tried to talk me out of it just so you know. It did put about 16 pounds on me in a month but made me feel awful inside and this was before I knew I was transgender. I love to eat and do so all the time. I have tried all kind of things that people have told me to eat for weight gain. No luck. It bothers me to the point to I guess I'm dysphoric about my weight but, I do not need a therapist to try and make me feel good about it. I absolutely cannot afford to loose another pound.

I am sorry to complain as I try not to but it helps to vent. I don't expect any replies to this post and that's fine, plus whatever you can suggest I probably have heard before. This Must and Will Change. I just don't know how.

Hugs to all,
                Chelsea

[Northern Star Girl]

Well my voice therapy went great. I had some improvement and the goal now is 190hz so that's a improvement.
I would give more details but I am really bummed. I know I said I don't get that way often but, there is one thing that does it. Weight. I got back home all happy because I done a good job at voice therapy and got on the scale for some reason and I have lost 3 more pounds. That makes 14 pounds sense starting HRT lost. I need to go the other way. I was told HRT would help with weight gain.

I even have had painful events through out life just because of my weight. One for example in Myrtle Beach, SC in 1989 walking on the beach at night minding my own business. These two guys I never have seen in my life came up and told me to my face I looked like a Ethiopian, laughed and walked away. This little episode still haunts me today and cut me deep. All because I have been underweight. This is one of the main reasons I have not "come out" fully.

When I got out of high school I weighed 108 and stayed that way for years. I have been to more than enough doctors through the years, had my thyroid checked more than once. I also had my sister who is a RN give me a few (you girls are gonna hate this) testosterone shots to help gain weight. She tried to talk me out of it just so you know. It did put about 16 pounds on me in a month but made me feel awful inside and this was before I knew I was transgender. I love to eat and do so all the time. I have tried all kind of things that people have told me to eat for weight gain. No luck. It bothers me to the point to I guess I'm dysphoric about my weight but, I do not need a therapist to try and make me feel good about it. I absolutely cannot afford to loose another pound.

I am sorry to complain as I try not to but it helps to vent. I don't expect any replies to this post and that's fine, plus whatever you can suggest I probably have heard before. This Must and Will Change. I just don't know how.

Hugs to all,
                Chelsea

Chelsea:  That is good news about your speech therapy,.... what pitch range does your therapist want to end up with for you?   Or is 190Hz the final goal??

Now, regarding your weight issues, in that department you are the exact opposite of most others trying to shed pounds....  Oh yeah, the thyroid was my first thought too.  Perhaps another doctor, and I know that you have already been to many, might have a new take on the weight issue.     Either way, too heavy, too light... can be a big problem but if I were going to have a weight problem I might prefer what you have!!!

Be strong and please continue venting as much as you want and as much as you care too.... lot of listening ears here rooting for you.
Hugs and well wishes,.
Danielle

[JudiBlueEyes]

Yes you are different than most in the weight department, but so am I.  I weighed only a little bit more than you when I graduated HS and its taken me decades to add any weight.  I am still on the low end of the BMI scale!  It can be frustrating but I know my weight will fluctuate sometimes and I'll lose 4-5 lbs.  It comes back but that's all.   The down side is I don't have body fat for fuller breasts and tush.  The up side is I can fit into size 8 and sometimes 6's.  Being in my mid-60's, I'll take it. 

Don't stress.  Eat well and exercise as you can. 

Judi 

[Rachel]

Awesome on the voice front.

I was looking into a KETO diet for healthy eating information. There is a youtube on ketoconnect channel. The male did an experiment with eating keto but eating a very large amount of fat, He ate fat bombs. He proved that even on a strict keto diet you can gain weight. You may want to review that diet. There are some people that can not tolerate a high fat diet.

I had a friend that is adhd and when she went off her meds her concentration went to hell and she lost weight. When she went back on meds she did awesome in her college classes and regained lost weight. She was still thin but also muscular.

Good luck on the weight front.

[Chelsea]

Thank you everyone. Rachel I have not heard of the KETO diet but I certainly will check it out. I am to the point now that I will do anything for weight gain healthy or not.

I don't like being down and I still feel Horrible about my weight thing but I am going to post something positive now.
I got to my appointment today 5 mins late and my voice therapist went over the things from the previous week and the goals she had set aside for me. All these numbers shes showing me are Chinese to me. Today makes the second time she has said that I was doing remarkably well. Today I have moved up from making silly sounds to actual words.  I am working on week 4 things at week 2. I guess that's good?
She started me on "M" words first. I did say once "Hi my name is Chelsea" but it sounded like a robot female to me. She ask me if it was ok to record my voice on the next visit and play it back to me. She told me it sounds a lot better on the outside than it does in your head, so we will see.

I am starting to get over being nervous with her and feel comfortable, or at least today I did. I was the last appointment that she had today so we hang out for about 10 minuets talking and got into talking about makeup. Without thinking I pulled out my phone and showed her a picture of Chelsea and immediately felt this heat wave of embarrassment come over me. She made me feel so good by telling me that I was beautiful and how did I learn to be a makeup artist. I'm busted now she has already seen the pic so I told her about the "tape facelift" I do. I left there today feeling great and I have made a little progress in my voice. It was the scale that brought me down but I'm gonna be fine. Below is the pic I showed the therapist and please excuse the adams apple. I hate that thing and that is the only reason I wear that black choker is to hide it. You can see my age in this one and can tell I need a facelift.

When I started writing this I was feeling terrible and this has helped me to feel better in just a few minuets. I am a "little girl" but I don't stay down long. Thank you everyone for reading the mess. I'm going to cook something now. LOL

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Donna]

I as well was concerned about the weight issue but have been fortunate in that I'm still
Losing. I need to as I've been too heavy too long  I've dropped 8 pounds in 10 days. That put me right about 90 pounds in 1yr and 4 months.
It's good but costly as Im forever buying new size cloths and bras.
You look absolutely gorgeous girl. I wish I looked half that good. Keep up the good work

[Chelsea]

Chelsea:  That is good news about your speech therapy,.... what pitch range does your therapist want to end up with for you?   Or is 190Hz the final goal??

Danielle

Danielle I'm sorry, I must have not seen your question.
She said this is very good but we can change it again later, depending on how I progress. My therapist is about 177hz and she sounds very feminine to me. Its all looks good on paper and numbers but I need to hear it to believe it.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Chloe_freebird]

Hi Chelsea glad to heat your voice lesson went well
About your weight issue I've had same thing my entire life
Have you tried going to gym lifting light weights it helped me a while back
You don't have to go heavy no one wants arnald arms eww
And then after gym having a solid meal I gained like 6 kg in 3 months
Hope this helps


Chloe

[Chelsea]

Hi Chelsea glad to heat your voice lesson went well
About your weight issue I've had same thing my entire life
Have you tried going to gym lifting light weights it helped me a while back
You don't have to go heavy no one wants arnald arms eww
And then after gym having a solid meal I gained like 6 kg in 3 months
Hope this helps


Chloe

Hi Chloe. I workout 3 times a week, mostly on my legs and butt now. Back in my guy days I did mostly upper body exercises. I'm still trying to gain with no luck yet.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Alyssa Bree]

It is so cool that you are making progress with your voice therapy!! Keep rolling along girl!


xoxoxo
Alyssa

[christinej78]

.
.
I even have had painful events through out life just because of my weight. One for example in Myrtle Beach, SC in 1989 walking on the beach at night minding my own business. These two guys I never have seen in my life came up and told me to my face I looked like a Ethiopian, laughed and walked away. This little episode still haunts me today and cut me deep. All because I have been underweight. This is one of the main reasons I have not "come out" fully.
.
.
I am sorry to complain as I try not to but it helps to vent. I don't expect any replies to this post and that's fine, plus whatever you can suggest I probably have heard before. This Must and Will Change. I just don't know how.

Hugs to all,
                Chelsea

Good Afternoon Chelsea,               15 May 2018

Do you know any Ethiopians? Do you know what they look like? Have you ever seen one? For one, they have dark skin; do you? Like every other race they have people of all shapes and sizes; they have beautiful people.

That happened 29 years ago when you were 11. Don't allow the ignorant opinion of two stupid jerks affect your life. Opinions are like A-holes, everyone has one. They are worth exactly what they cost... Nothing!

Sorry Dena, I don't know of a better way of saying what I think needed to be said. Fix it if it needs a-fixen.

If you are on Spironolactone (SPIRO), aka Aldactone among others, you might be interested in the following link:

     https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spironolactone

You are extremely beautiful; if I could look 1/10 as good as you do, I'd be dancing in the streets rejoicing. It ain't going to happen and I accept it. I will look as good as the orchi and the magic mushrooms (hrt) produce, and maybe with a little help from a MINOR face lift. Remember, I'm 38 years past 40.

I said I wouldn't rag on you; I don't think this post is ragging. I really care about you and how your life turns out; why, I think it was your post about you outing yourself to your Brother, it brought me to tears. I want to see you succeed.

Hoping to see you at Bristol Dragway.

Best Always and Love to you, your Girlfriend and family,
Christine

[Chelsea]

Good Afternoon Chelsea,               15 May 2018

Do you know any Ethiopians? Do you know what they look like? Have you ever seen one? For one, they have dark skin; do you? Like every other race they have people of all shapes and sizes; they have beautiful people.

These people called me a Ethiopian because I'm skinny and nothing else.

That happened 29 years ago when you were 11. Don't allow the ignorant opinion of two stupid jerks affect your life. Opinions are like A-holes, everyone has one. They are worth exactly what they cost... Nothing!

I was not 11. I am 46 years old and have lied to you all. I did not mean any harm. I missed my younger years as a girl and I want to look as young as I can, no matter the pain or cost. When I first joined Susan's I didn't know how nice everyone was and was afraid that I would be made fun of or picked on. Those guys told me what they thought. If I had been the correct size and weight they would have just walked on by.

If you are on Spironolactone (SPIRO), aka Aldactone among others, you might be interested in the following link:

     https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spironolactone

Yeah I have seen that years ago. I read on the HRT medications and knew what my doctor would prescribe me even before. I even guess really close to what my dosage she put me on.

I said I wouldn't rag on you; I don't think this post is ragging. I really care about you and how your life turns out; why, I think it was your post about you outing yourself to your Brother, it brought me to tears. I want to see you succeed.

Hoping to see you at Bristol Dragway.

Thank you for the comments but I will not be a Bristol for at least two more years.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Chelsea]

It is so cool that you are making progress with your voice therapy!! Keep rolling along girl!


xoxoxo
Alyssa

Alyssa Thank you! 

[Chloe_freebird]

Hi Chelsea
I was stunned when you said you were  46 I thought you looked early 30s
I hope whe I start hrt that I look half as prity as you and I'm 29
Age is nothing but a number and your only as old as you feel

Xxx
Chloe

[Chelsea]

Hi Chelsea
I was stunned when you said you were  46 I thought you looked early 30s
I hope whe I start hrt that I look half as prity as you and I'm 29
Age is nothing but a number and your only as old as you feel

Xxx
Chloe

That's great because I still feel like I did in my 20's. I'm going to see Dr. Keelee MacPhee in a few months just to get a price and let her tell me what I need.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[christinej78]

Dear Chelsea,           15 May 2018

You win; I know when I'm licked.

If ever there is anything I can do for you, let me know. There are folks here that know how to contact me.

Best Always, Love,
Christine

[Chelsea]

Dear Chelsea,           15 May 2018

You win; I know when I'm licked.

If ever there is anything I can do for you, let me know. There are folks here that know how to contact me.

Best Always, Love,
Christine

I do not understand. I post here all the time.

[Rachel]

Chelsea, you are beautiful. No kidding beautiful.

I am happy you are progressing on your voice. Ask about sliders. I was taught to do sliders with a straw (small diameter straw and I do them in my car to work). This helps to maintain the back of your throat open and maintain air flow. It is an easy way to train to keep your throat open and raise your larynx (when you yawn your larynx shifts up, it takes practice). Some people say to squeeze your throat but that strains it and will harm it over time. Keep the back of your throat open and raise your larynx. Keep your back, neck and throat in proper line. This will project your voice to your nasal area.

Fill your tummy full of air and use that to act as a bellow. Their at a lot of things I can share but you are new to voice and need to learn one thing at a time. You sound like you will do well.

If you add fat bombs to your diet you will gain weight.

Hormones ( E and T, you need T) at proper levels and leg work are two of the three pathways to catabolize fat. Eating more fat will help in maintaining your weight and gaining. Fat bombs are tasty and will add calories you need. Lookup ketoconnect on YouTube and from there fat bombs. You are doing this to get fat calories in you. 

Let the hormones take hold before you do a face lift. If you do any bone work in the lower jaw make sure you wait a year after the bone work to get a face lift. I will need to redo my face lift to tighten the skin again. I did bone and face lift at the same time. I had a type 3 and brow work and far head lowering and that helped the upper face. My face lift did wonders but if I waited a year it would have been 100% and not 80%.

I eat colleen every day (and many other things) and in 6 months my nails, hair and skin are doing awesome. I get collagen by bulk and take at least 1 scoop a day. I make granola and there is a scoop in every bag (12 to 14 baggies a batch). You can add it into anything.

[Chelsea]

Chelsea, you are beautiful. No kidding beautiful.

I am happy you are progressing on your voice. Ask about sliders. I was taught to do sliders with a straw (small diameter straw and I do them in my car to work). This helps to maintain the back of your throat open and maintain air flow. It is an easy way to train to keep your throat open and raise your larynx (when you yawn your larynx shifts up, it takes practice). Some people say to squeeze your throat but that strains it and will harm it over time. Keep the back of your throat open and raise your larynx. Keep your back, neck and throat in proper line. This will project your voice to your nasal area.

Fill your tummy full of air and use that to act as a bellow. Their at a lot of things I can share but you are new to voice and need to learn one thing at a time. You sound like you will do well.

If you add fat bombs to your diet you will gain weight.

Hormones ( E and T, you need T) at proper levels and leg work are two of the three pathways to catabolize fat. Eating more fat will help in maintaining your weight and gaining. Fat bombs are tasty and will add calories you need. Lookup ketoconnect on YouTube and from there fat bombs. You are doing this to get fat calories in you. 

Let the hormones take hold before you do a face lift. If you do any bone work in the lower jaw make sure you wait a year after the bone work to get a face lift. I will need to redo my face lift to tighten the skin again. I did bone and face lift at the same time. I had a type 3 and brow work and far head lowering and that helped the upper face. My face lift did wonders but if I waited a year it would have been 100% and not 80%.

I eat colleen every day (and many other things) and in 6 months my nails, hair and skin are doing awesome. I get collagen by bulk and take at least 1 scoop a day. I make granola and there is a scoop in every bag (12 to 14 baggies a batch). You can add it into anything.

Rachel Thank you so much.
Thank you for the voice tips. Some of them I already do like raising the larynx but its hard to get used to,
plus my voice gets tired really easy right now.

I have no idea what fat bombs are but I will definitely look into it today, and it sounds like what I need.

I am waiting on the facelift to give the HRT time. I just wanted to see her just to give me a idea of how much money to save and what I need. I hope I don't need much surgery but I'm ok if I do.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[Chloe_freebird]

That's great because I still feel like I did in my 20's. I'm going to see Dr. Keelee MacPhee in a few months just to get a price and let her tell me what I need.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

That's the spirit

Xxx
Chloe