Chelsea's Transition Adventure

[Cheaney]

Thank you Cheaney and welcome to my silly thread. That is the first time anyone has told me that I inspired them. Nothing really inspiring about me but that made my day. [emoji4]

Alivia says "Thank you" for the comments. I told my GF about 4 years ago the I liked to dress like a girl thinking she would be ok with me doing so. My idea was to gradually lead into me being transgender slowly, but that didn't work because I could immediately see that it upset her. It took me until about 6 months ago to tell her. She said it all makes sense now. She thought I was gay and just didn't want to tell her all these years lol. After I told her it had nothing at all to do with sexual preference she has been completely supportive of me transitioning.


Hugs,
         Chelsea

Nah it's all love Chelsea. You may not think you're inspiring but you are and your story is. Our stories have a lot of similarities and I have some of those same thoughts and fears about transitioning and passing. On top of that, being in really conservative states where being transgender might as well be worse than being from Mars. But just knowing other people are going through it like I do is uplifting and inspiring.

I didn't give myself or my wife that luxury. Denial and repression might as well been my name. And my wife didn't even believe me when I came out to her. But she's awesome and has done a lot of work and we're trying to take our best shot at this thing.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[christinej78]

Nah it's all love Chelsea. You may not think you're inspiring but you are and your story is. Our stories have a lot of similarities and I've had some of those same thoughts and fears about transitioning and passing. On top of that, being in really conservative states where being transgender might as well be worse than being from Mars. But just knowing other people are going through it like I do is uplifting and inspiring.

I didn't give myself or my wife that luxury. Denial and repression might as well been my name. And my wife didn't even believe me when I came out to her. But she's awesome and has done a lot of work and we're trying to take our best shot at this thing.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Cheaney,                    20 May 2018

Yes, Chelsea is an inspiring, talented and gorgeous young lady... despite her denials. She, like you and numerous others here, have a wonderful gift, great women beside you that support you. Take very good care of them, they are your greatest assets.

Best Always,
Christine

[Chelsea]

Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!"    Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol  I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.

Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[christinej78]

Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!"    Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol  I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.

Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol

Hugs,
        Chelsea

Hi Chelsea,                 21 May 2018

Your new photo is stunning. I hope you will start believing everyone out here that think you are extremely beautiful.

I really like the new photo and shirt.

Time for me to crash; take care and stay safe.

Best Always, all my Love,
Christine the "Old Nag"

[Jayne01]

Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!"    Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol  I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.

Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol

Hugs,
        Chelsea

Yay! Chelsea gets a new wardrobe! You are looking great girl! I started with a $5 too and $10 jeans off the clearance rack. Last week I splurged and bought myself a much nicer and more expensive pair of jeans and a pair of ankle boots with a bigger heel than I thought I could manage. I'm loving them. I also had the same hate for looking at clothes as my old self. Now I can't get enough. Who would have thought?

The secret to buying girly things on your own is not caring what other people might be thinking. Do it a couple of times and then the fear goes away. I found department stores a good place to start. They are big, and nobody seems to care who is buying what. I also found the younger staff members to be the most open minded, so being transgender is no big deal to them.

Glad you enjoyed your shopping trip.

Jayne

[islandgirl]

Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!"    Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol  I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.

Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol

Hugs,
        Chelsea

Good for you, girl! You look wonderful and happy! I found that once I crossed the line to purchase female clothing, I never turned back. Most of my male clothes went to Goodwill asap. I started with tee's and jeans, athletic shorts and tops. Found some very nice jeans in the better thrift stores.

It is interesting that our outer wear, helps us with our inner feelings. As much as people will say it should not, it really helps with transition. All of a sudden one is carrying oneself differently.

Look forward! The sun shines on your path! Hugs, Kelly

[Donna]

Me and Alivia had to take a trip to Walmart today, she seen new bathing suits and wanted to stop and look. I was like "Sure!"    Its funny to me because as my old self, I hated looking at clothes and now I love it. All of my previous pictures are of me wearing my GF shirts. lol  I love buying girly things when she is with me, but I'm not sure if I could buy the same things by myself.

Today I found a little shirt on sale and had to have it. This is really cool to me because as I was paying for it, I realized that I will never buy "guy" clothes again. Even though it was just a $9 shirt, it was the beginning of Chelsea's wardrobe and it made me happy. I now own one shirt. lol

Hugs,
        Chelsea

So please for and proud of the strides you have taken. You are a great looking young woman and should be hugely proud of everything in your life. You are going to love shopping unlike any other time in your life. Remember when you go shopping now you are gong as a woman and not a single person is going to think otherwise, after your first solo shopping spree you will wonder what the hesitation was about. When a SA walks up and says can I help you ma'am you are going to be blown away by the feeling. Tell them what you need or want and they will be all over you to help.
I can't get enough pretty outfits. I'm finally understanding why women have so many of everything and lots of shoes, really need shoes. Lol
My wife is so starting to spoil me with cloths and wigs and donations.
Live it, love it and embrace it and be happy

[Chelsea]

Thank you girls for the comments. Today was my Third Voice Therapy. I made it on time and was not nervous this time like before. Today was a little more challenging but she told me I was doing great. My goal pitch has changed from 190hz to 206hz so that is awesome. This is a little more work than I originally thought but I must do this.

Today she recorded me saying a few words and let me listen to them back. After I knew she was recording me I instantly started feeling nervous. Of course I messed up a few times and I actually almost cried at one point. I got really discouraged while doing these exercises but she kept telling me that I was doing great. Then I listened to myself as she played it back to me and the last two words sounded decent for three weeks. My voice is so tired, I feel like I have been sitting talking for 5 hours strait.

On the way back we stopped at the store and I picked up a cute pair of shorts. I really wish I had not done that, because I soon as I got home and tried them on, all of those hating the way I look feelings had come back. I cant stand being skinny and its getting to me. I think my dysphoria is worse than I thought. Its getting so hard to "Put Chelsea back in the closet" if that makes sense and my weight is really getting to me. It makes it hard to concentrate on anything really. The same discouraging feeling that I had in voice therapy today happened when I saw my skinny legs in those shorts. I'm ok just sharing my feelings with you ladies.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Jayne01]

Thank you girls for the comments. Today was my Third Voice Therapy. I made it on time and was not nervous this time like before. Today was a little more challenging but she told me I was doing great. My goal pitch has changed from 190hz to 206hz so that is awesome. This is a little more work than I originally thought but I must do this.

Today she recorded me saying a few words and let me listen to them back. After I knew she was recording me I instantly started feeling nervous. Of course I messed up a few times and I actually almost cried at one point. I got really discouraged while doing these exercises but she kept telling me that I was doing great. Then I listened to myself as she played it back to me and the last two words sounded decent for three weeks. My voice is so tired, I feel like I have been sitting talking for 5 hours strait.

On the way back we stopped at the store and I picked up a cute pair of shorts. I really wish I had not done that, because I soon as I got home and tried them on, all of those hating the way I look feelings had come back. I cant stand being skinny and its getting to me. I think my dysphoria is worse than I than I thought. Its getting so hard to "Put Chelsea back in the closet" if that makes sense and my weight is really getting to me. It makes it hard to concentrate on anything really. The same discouraging feeling that I had in voice therapy today happened when I saw my skinny legs in those shorts. I'm ok just sharing my feelings with you ladies.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

Hey Chelsea,
Congratulations on the progress with your voice therapy. It sounds like you are doing really well.

You went to the store on your own and bought yourself some girl clothes? That's fantastic! Congratulations on taking that step. Next time you will try them on in the store before buying them to see if you like them.

I know exactly what you mean about it being hard to put Chelsea back in the closet. I am having the same problem putting Jayne into the closet. It feels like I am killing a small part of me each time I go back to being John. You are making great progress so far. Stay strong while making the transition to becoming Chelsea full time. That moment is getting closer each day.

I'll pass on a small tip that was given to me. "Dress for the body you have, not the body you want". We all have different body shapes and there are things about our body we don't like. This applies to everyone, not only trans women. Certain items of clothing may highlight something you don't like about yourself. Choose clothes that highlight the parts you do like. You will feel better about yourself. I recently went into a store and saw this great body hugging dress that I thought I would like. It looked amazing on the hanger and would look amazing on someone with a perfect hourglass body figure. I tried it on and it looked awful on me. I didn't have the right body shape for that dress. I found something else that fit me better and I feel good about myself wearing what I bought. Had I bought that dress, I would have felt very discouraged about how I look. I made that mistake a couple of years ago when I bought a cute dress without trying it on and when I got home I realised that I looked terrible in it. My dysphoria became worse and eventually I ended up disposing of the dress with extreme prejudice (I set it on fire in the back yard!!)

Your weight is currently a troubling issue for you. Look at cis women with similar body shapes to you that dress nicely (to your taste) for some ideas. When you figure out a way to get your body weight to where you want it, then you can modify your wardrobe to suit. It's all about finding the best clothes and style to wear that makes YOU feel good about yourself. YOU need to be happy looking in a mirror.

I've probably said too much here. You did say you are ok just sharing your feelings.

Again, really great news with your voice therapy progress.

Take care

Hug,
Jayne

[Donna]

Chelsea we are here when you need to share. Sorry your still putting Chelsea in the closet still. When you get to leave her out all the time and him in it then you are going to feel so much better.
Nice to hear voice therapy is starting to feel more comfortable. I need to call them one day and see what the requirements are from my doctor.

[JudiBlueEyes]

Jayne have great advice "Dress for the body you have, not the body you want".  As I've mentioned I am thin, OK skinny, but I love my body moreso now that my mind aligns with it.  There seem to be more clothing choices and they do fit well.  I have two nieces that are the same as me and they are beautiful.  I know you are too.
Judi

[Chelsea]

Jayne have great advice "Dress for the body you have, not the body you want".  As I've mentioned I am thin, OK skinny, but I love my body moreso now that my mind aligns with it.  There seem to be more clothing choices and they do fit well.  I have two nieces that are the same as me and they are beautiful.  I know you are too.
Judi

Thank you for the complement. I think I might be a little worse. I cant keep this skinny body. I would rather wait then to dress and not be happy with it. I'm feeling pretty low right now. I'm thinking it must be the medicine or the dysphoria is worse.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Jayne01]

Thank you for the complement. I think I might be a little worse. I cant keep this skinny body. I would rather wait then to dress and not be happy with it. I'm feeling pretty low right now. I'm thinking it must be the medicine or the dysphoria is worse.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

Chelsea, you are beautiful, inside and out. All the photos you have posted so far are beautiful. We are always our own worst critics. Hang in there, this low feeling will pass.

Hug,
Jayne

[Chelsea]

Last night at moms I was sitting down watching TV with her and out of nowhere she said "I think you are to obsessed with this transgender stuff". Now this is the reaction I was expecting to get when I told her about it. Now that she has had a few days to think about it, it shows. I tried to explain that it has nothing to do with obsession at all. Its like I'm talking to a wall. A big concrete one.

I could feel my blood pressure rising so it was time for me to go. As soon as I get home I messaged my sis and told her about mom. She said hang on and I will call her. About a hour goes by and sis messages me back and said mom didn't want to talk much but she will talk to her more today. Sis told me that mom is in denial and even a little angry. (I think I predicted this.) but she also said give her time. I have been wanting this for years and its still all new to them.

Today mom will hardly speak one word to me and said that she is really depressed. I kind of feel like its my fault but I must do this and cant wait anymore. Its really my life. I told sis that Chelsea is coming and I cant slow her down. Within 6 months people are going to start noticing things. Sis told mom last night that they can be each others support in this and that was nice.

So on top of finances, my weight, I have my mother to worry about, this keeps getting better and better.
I don't mind a gravel road but this one seems to have some pretty big rocks in it. I do know that eventually everything will workout, but going through it is rough and even depressing at times.

Hugs,
          Chelsea

[Northern Star Girl]

Last night at moms I was sitting down watching TV with her and out of nowhere she said "I think you are to obsessed with this transgender stuff". Now this is the reaction I was expecting to get when I told her about it. Now that she has had a few days to think about it, it shows. I tried to explain that it has nothing to do with obsession at all. Its like I'm talking to a wall. A big concrete one.

I could feel my blood pressure rising so it was time for me to go. As soon as I get home I messaged my sis and told her about mom. She said hang on and I will call her. About a hour goes by and sis messages me back and said mom didn't want to talk much but she will talk to her more today. Sis told me that mom is in denial and even a little angry. (I think I predicted this.) but she also said give her time. I have been wanting this for years and its still all new to them.

Today mom will hardly speak one word to me and said that she is really depressed. I kind of feel like its my fault but I must do this and cant wait anymore. Its really my life. I told sis that Chelsea is coming and I cant slow her down. Within 6 months people are going to start noticing things. Sis told mom last night that they can be each others support in this and that was nice.

So on top of finances, my weight, I have my mother to worry about, this keeps getting better and better.
I don't mind a gravel road but this one seems to have some pretty big rocks in it. I do know that eventually everything will workout, but going through it is rough and even depressing at times.

Hugs,
          Chelsea

Dear Chelsea:   Thanks for telling us about your latest issues so that we can better understand what you are going through with your transition journey therefore helping us to give you the support and hugs that we want to give to you.   
Be very, very glad that you have a sister that is so supportive and helpful to you with dealing with your mother.

I am happy to read that you are still positive about knowing that everything will work out, but you are correct, while you are in the middle of all of this it can be rough and depressing for sure.   All of us that have been involved this transition experience fully understand about how this journey has it's failures, frustrations, disappointments .... and, the good news, it's successes !!!

Continue to stay on top of your business and financial issues.... and I was pleased to see your earlier updates about some good news regarding those items.

Please keep holding your head high, stay positive.... and know for sure that your experiences are not a mystery to most of us reading your thread.   

Sending you my hugs and another hug or two....
Danielle

[JudiBlueEyes]

Understand that the people close to us deal with our changes differently than we do.  Just as with the death of a friend or family they need to cope with the loss of the "you" they know as they come to grips with the new "you".  There are the normal steps of grieving they go through.  Reassure your mom you are still the same at your core.  Like me, I'm sure you won't give you liking cars and other hobbies you have.  But you will expand your activities now that you are free to do so. 

Finances, weight, Mom; what is it they say about troubles coming in three's?  As you say people will start noticing changes soon and it is getting better and better.  Believe it or not, you're doing fine.  Keep plugging ahead and maintain your focus.   Cheers!
Judi

[Dena]

You might explain that you have felt the same for years so you are no different. It's just that she is hearing about years of your thoughts in a relatively short period of time so it's going to take time to adjust to the new truth.

[Stevi]

Chelsea,

There is difference in perspective that is in play.  While those who are important to us tend to think of our transition as a loss, a disappointment, even, a death, of sorts, we look on it as more of an awakening, even, a birth.  You need to recognize that your mother is in a mourning.   Hard to sympathize with when you are in a celebratory mood.

Allow mom to mourn.  But try, through your sis if necessary, to encourage mom to see this in the same positive light you do.

Hang in there,
Stevi

[Chelsea]

Thank you ladies!
Mom finally come around today and ask me if I would cut the grass. After that me and her were fine the rest of the day. That doesn't mean that she will be ok with it tomorrow, but as least for now we are talking again. I didn't bring up the subject transgender at all. I figure when she is ready she will talk to me about it. She told me that she loved me and give me a couple of hugs today (she don't hug me much) so that's good. My sis could have talked to her today while I was working but I'm not sure, so for now me and mom are ok I guess.....     

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[CallmeMegan]

Hi Chelsea

I am just starting out on my own journey having finally given in to the forces of nature.

Just been reading your adventures and they are a great read. It's great to see that you are dealing with your transition in such a positive and fun way and some of your adventures and misadventures resonate with me....even though I have not got to the stage of starting HRT or coming out to anyone yet.

I only hope that I can deal with things as positively and have as much fun as you have.

BTW you're new look is amazing

Megan x