Chelsea's Transition Adventure

[Cheaney]

I'm glad you had even those moments with your mom. I had the same thoughts about telling my family that you did. Unfortunately my fears turned out to be true. It's been a couple of months now and nobody has said a word to me about trans at all. Like I never even told them and I'm even more of a family outcast than I already was. So cherish even those small moments of acceptance when they happen.


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[Chelsea]

Hi Chelsea

I am just starting out on my own journey having finally given in to the forces of nature.

Just been reading your adventures and they are a great read. It's great to see that you are dealing with your transition in such a positive and fun way and some of your adventures and misadventures resonate with me....even though I have not got to the stage of starting HRT or coming out to anyone yet.

I only hope that I can deal with things as positively and have as much fun as you have.

BTW you're new look is amazing

Megan x

Thank you Megan and welcome to my little mess of a thread. I try to stay positive but its not always easy. For me this is the best thing I have ever done in my life and I will never look back. Thank you so much for the complement. The new color is really close to my natural hair color and I like it better. I wish you the best on your journey.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[Chelsea]

I'm glad you had even those moments with your mom. I had the same thoughts about telling my family that you did. Unfortunately my fears turned out to be true. It's been a couple of months now and nobody has said a word to me about trans at all. Like I never even told them and I'm even more of a family outcast than I already was. So cherish even those small moments of acceptance when they happen.


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Thank you Cheaney.
I really wasn't ready to tell mom. I know I have been going down the list kind of fast but, after I had started HRT it was like Chelsea has started a fire inside of me wanting out. Its getting harder to "put her away". I''m still not out of the woods with mom just yet. I am giving her all the time she needs to get used to it. I talked to her early this morning and she was in a good mood. Maybe just like my mom, your family might just need a little more time. Like Dena and Stevi said its still all new to them and will take time.

Hugs, 
         Chelsea

[Chelsea]

Well I got a really hard kick in the face today. Mom just pretty much attacked me. It caught me off guard and I didn't say anything. It just made me cry and I left. She told me that she give birth to a boy not a girl.  She started quoting the bible. She thinks that I just got on the net and found a doctor to make me a girl. Yes she actually said that. She said she didn't want to look at me today. I have never heard my mom talk to me this way. She said if those doctors are so smart then tell me what caused you to be transgender? as I was leaving. I just told her the same thing that caused cancer in her and my brother, nobody knows.

Sis says she cant make her understand and that she don't think that mom will ever understand. Jason said my brother don't really understand it either. He thinks its more of a fetish, but hes ok with me transitioning. The thought of my mother passing with me being a disappointment is unbearable. She's 82 and will not live forever. Here I am again nervous and sick, throwing up and trying to gain weight. Why can't I just live the life I need?

When I first started this I was like " Ahh heck this isn't to bad"  Well today its all real and not good.
I don't really know what to do. I'm just sitting here at a loss.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Northern Star Girl]

Well I got a really hard kick in the face today. Mom just pretty much attacked me. It caught me off guard and I didn't say anything. It just made me cry and I left. She told me that she give birth to a boy not a girl.  She started quoting the bible. She thinks that I just got on the net and found a doctor to make me a girl. Yes she actually said that. She said she didn't want to look at me today. I have never heard my mom talk to me this way. She said if those doctors are so smart then tell me what caused you to be transgender? as I was leaving. I just told her the same thing that caused cancer in her and my brother, nobody knows.

Sis says she cant make her understand and that she don't think that mom will ever understand. Jason said my brother don't really understand it either. He thinks its more of a fetish, but hes ok with me transitioning. The thought of my mother passing with me being a disappointment is unbearable. She's 82 and will not live forever. Here I am again nervous and sick, throwing up and trying to gain weight. Why can I just live the life I need?

When I first started this I was like " Ahh heck this isn't to bad"  Well today its all real and not good.
I don't really know what to do. I'm just sitting here at a loss.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

Dear Chelsea...   I am so upset to hear this....  heya girl, you have been making decisions of how to live your life and as long as you are respectful those that matter in your life (your parents and family especially) it is then up to them how they deal with it. 
I think that you have heard me say this before:
"If life doesn't deal you enough problems, you can always count on your own family"

I think that you are aware that your transition is many times more difficult for your family and old long term friends that it may be for you....  you have already dealt with your decision to change, they are still trying to cope with the fact that their son is now transitioning into a woman....   be as respectful as you are able and try not to lose your temper and do earnestly try to overcome any depression and angry feelings that you may experience.

You have  your future goals to continue striving for....   be strong, be determined and be positive....    all of that is easier to say than done, but please give those things your best effort.

Thank you for keeping us all updated with your news, both the good and the bad.

Hugs, and more hugs,
Danielle

[islandgirl]

I was going to start writing a response to your post when I read Danielles post. It seems we are on the same wave length. You have made the courageous step to transition and are working hard to be successful. As Danielle has said, family members often have a greater difficulty adjusting to the changes we go through. They often need time to gain an understanding of who we are and what is going on. What some have difficulty with is that we don't make ourselves this way. Whether we actually make the life changes to transition or not, we are who we are.

I also agree that trying to keep a positive view of your development is important. What really helps family members  accept your transition is seeing how much happier you are. Unfortunately, we can not change people. Change has to come from them. All we can do is work on our own mental/emotional health and physical health.

The girl I have seen though your thread is strong and determined. You have overcome other hurdles and you can this one!

Hugs,
Kelly

[Stevi]

Chelsea,

That turn of events with your mom is a little like what happened with my daughter. I won't get into the details here but it is the crisis that initiated my thread "Stevi's Saga"  I just mention it because, in my case, things have improved immensely.  There is still a ways to go but I am sure my daughter and I will get through this thing.  I hope things with your mother come around in the near future for you, as well.

(((Hugs))) and hope,
Stevi

P.S.  If that avatar is you, I am pea-green jealous.  Young, pretty face.  Wow!

[JudiBlueEyes]

I too am sorry to read this.  She is lashing out because she is not in control of the situation.  Hang in there, you're doing fine. 

BTW: whether it's black or brown, you absolutely rock a head full of curls.  I am jealous!
Judi

[Laurie]

 Chelsea,

  Family not being able to accept us as we need to be is one of the hardest things to deal with. At least for me it has been for me. I am glad I found Michelle or did she find me. The loss of my daughter and grand kids from my life nearly killed me. Michelle gave me a new reason to live. So Hun I know what that hurt feels like and I know the pain it can cause. Please do not let it get to you as bad as it did to me. Please reach out to someone or call me to talk. I have no problem letting you have my number. Just let me know and you'll get it.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[pamelatransuk]

I am so sorry to read this Chelsea.

I know how painful it is when your Mum disapproves and insults you - I loved my Mum but she never accepted the way I was/am but I was able to forgive her as she was born in the 1920s. She died in 2015.

I hope your Mum comes round in due time when she will see how much happier you are in the future.

I appreciate your pain now. You are in my prayers.

Hugs

Pamela

[Donna]

Chelsea I'm so sad to hear about the responce from your mom. Moms are supposed to love unconditionally and this is so hard. Please remember your happiness has to come first and you can't live in misery to make one person happy. Please be strong and we are all here for you.
PM anytime if you need an ear
💕💗love you girl💗💕

[Chelsea]

Thank you ladies for the responses. I still am amazed at the amount of support that comes from this forum. I really appreciate each and every one of you.

My sister told me that we are still getting together tomorrow, like we always do on Memorial day weekend. She knows what mom said to me and said don't worry about it. She said I already talked to mom but, didn't tell me anything else. Normally me and Alivia cooks and we have a few family members over. All of the people that will be there already know about me transitioning but, the way mom was angry with me yesterday its gonna be awkward.  Am I supposed to act like nothing happened?

I hope that we can make up and put this behind us. Sis told me that she thinks that mom will be accept me in time. I hope she is right. Wish me luck. I'm still gonna be my same happy go lucky self tomorrow.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[islandgirl]

All the Best tomorrow! Remember to stay calm and show everyone that you are happy! Best thing you can do is be yourself. Sending positive thoughts!

Hugs,
Kelly

[Jayne01]

Chelsea, I am sorry to hear your Mum is having trouble processing you being transgender. It is a lot for her to absorb. She has had only a tiny amount of time to understand what is happening to you, whereas you have had your whole life dealing with these feelings. You may find that your mother might go through various stages of accepting you to not accepting you and everything in between before her true feelings are shown. What you are seeing now is her emotions coming to the surface as she sees her son being replaced by an unknown woman. It will take more time. Try to be patient with her and not take any of her negative reactions at this early stage too personally. Some of her reactions may be quite hurtful too.......it doesn't mean those are her true feelings. Give her the time and space she needs.

I hope your family get together goes well tomorrow.

(((Hugs)))

Jayne

[Chelsea]

I made it through today and actually had a good time. Me and My sister went to mom's and she also had her two daughters and her son. In order of age they are Robyn, Kelly and Jeffery. Robyn only found out about me being trans last night and talked to me today over an hour about my transition. She is very excited about it and wanted to watch me do my makeup sometime lol. 

I did not get a chance to tell Kelly as she had to leave ,but I know she will be fine. My machine shop is actually located on my mothers property and I had the shop doors open with some music going. Everyone was outside for a long time and I ask sis what Jeffery will think about me being trans. She said "He will be just fine." At that moment he walks up. I said "hey Jeff, walk over to that machine and tell me who that picture is. " I have a pic of Chelsea hanging on my machine as a "goal or motivation piece" He said "That's awesome." didn't ask questions or anything so that was easy. I already know all of her kids are very open minded and wasn't worried about telling them.

Mom was kind of hateful when I first got there but, after we all eat and had a few laughs she got back to her old self.
Nobody brought up the transgender subject around mom today and I think its best. I am kind of scared to say to much of anything to mom right now. I can tell something is on her mind but I think she needs her time. I told her that I loved her today and she replied back that she loves me too no matter what. Sis told me before she left that she don't think mom will ever completely understand but, thinks she will accept me transitioning eventually.

Good news is that I have complete support from the entire family except for mom and I hope she comes around.
If mom excepted me I might just be brave enough to get Chelsea out for good a lot sooner than I planed. Its getting really hard to be my old self now and think I have waited long enough. I hope everyone had a good weekend and thanks for reading my chit chat.

Hugs,
         Chelsea

[JudiBlueEyes]

I'm glad to hear it went well today.  Your nieces and nephew sound like they are fine and it's a non-issue for them, as it should be.  Continue to give your mother time and space.  She'll come around to where she is comfortable once she realizes you don't have to understand in order to be understanding.
Judi

[Donna]

So glad to hear how well it went and your mom settling down. The family support must be great. You really do sound like you are ready to go full time so very soon. Once you step over that line you will be so amazed and wonder why it took so long, and I mean that lovingly and not a judgement.
You are a guide to other to follow and you need to be proud of that.

[Maddie86]

aw, I'm happy to see that things have turned around a little! I'm glad you had fun and I'm hoping that things only get better for you!

[Jayne01]

Chelsea, I'm so glad your family get together went well. Your nieces and nephew clearly don't have any issue with you being trans. Your mother is also coming to terms with it. She may never be able to fully understand the reasons why you are transgender or why you need to become Chelsea, but she does accept you and told you that she loves you no matter what. That is wonderful news!

I like the way you came out to your nephew and his reaction to the photo. How old is he?

Hug,
Jayne

[Laurie]

Hi Chelsea,

  I am glad everyone in th family accepts you. I also hope that Mom will come around but it obviously is bothering her. Just her saying she loves you and always will is a start Hun. Like you said she will needs some time to work it out if she is going to. All you can do is to be there for her while she does.

Hugs,
  Lautie