Chelsea's Transition Adventure

[Donna]

Thank you everyone. I'm not feeling well and will be back later on if I get out if this mess.

I love all of you.

Chelsea

We all love you Chelsea and we are all here for you however we can be. Please be well and stay strong. Lots of us have been against the wall and found a way around it. You will find your way. Bless you and love always 💗💕Donna💗💕

[christinej78]

        "Aging is inevitable - growing up is optional."

Hi Susan,                        12 June 2018

My sentiments exactly. Have never grown up and never plan to; too much fun being a 78 year old kid while simultaneously transitioning.

Best Always, Love,
Christine

[JudiBlueEyes]

Thank you everyone. I'm not feeling well and will be back later on if I get out if this mess.

I love all of you.

Chelsea

No, No!  Not IF you get out of the mess, WHEN.  You will do it.  I have faith in you.  You've gotten this far on your own initiative and will power.  You will overcome this as well. 

Love to you, Judi

[Katie Jade]

No, No!  Not IF you get out of the mess, WHEN.  You will do it.  I have faith in you.  You've gotten this far on your own initiative and will power.  You will overcome this as well.

Chelsea
I absolutely agree with Judy, it is when , and never if. Your too nice a person not to succeed, you just need to keep plugging away a bit more and you will see you can succeed, maybe not tomorrow but sometime soon. Maybe not big stuff, but cherish the small wins, they keep us all going believe me.
Love you
Katie

[JulieAllana]

Hey Chelsea,
     Been traveling for work this past week and haven't been able to log on.  I am so sorry to read about your woes, but I know that you can get through this.  My thoughts and best wishes are with you!  Let us know if there is any other way we can help besides offering our encouragement.

          Love,
                 Julie

[Chelsea]

I figured I might try and update you girls if your interested. This has been the worst week ever. A little piece of info that none of you know. I left out this little piece of info because of what people might think but I'm over caring about that now. If you have been reading my thread then you know that my mother had a stroke a while back. After that happened me and my girlfriend moved in with her. She needs my help. She raised me and took care of me all those years so now it's my turn. My sister told me a while back that mom won't last long by herself so I moved in to help. The day before yesterday was... well I'm just going to say really bad. Mom is dead against this transition and told me that it will never happen around her. I am stuck and it is killing me.

When I moved in I had plenty of money but now I'm broke. I cannot dress as Chelsea around her so that only leaves me able to at night in one room of the house. She works at the court house here in town on Tuesday and Thursday every week, that is the only time that Chelsea can come out. Another problem is I sold my F350 to make some machine payments and the mustang I have has no breaks or tags. My therapist told me that I need to start going out as Chelsea and I am fine with that but as you can see I'm stuck. I have to support my mother and my girlfriend that has a condition and can no longer work. She has filed for support but you girls know how long that takes. Is really hard to keep food in the fridge for them and that makes me feel like a failure. I am supposed to be the rock, the support.

Tiny bit of good news is that my tax guy got my IRS bill from 13k down to $3400 and setup where I can pay a little each month. Thing is I owe him a little money to send it in that I do not have. Also have a machine payment that was due yesterday and I don't have it. On my "Dark Day" I will call it, one of my best friends came over and talked to me for over 3 hours. He owns a professional paint correction and extreme auto detail shop and offered me a job.  Today will be my first day and I'm already very tired. He told me that I am the only one he knows that will do the kind of quality work that he needs. After working with him it will be back to the CNC shop until late at night so there will be very little time for posting. I already owe him money and it will be 60 hours of work before I get to see one penny. I do jump in from time to time to check post and will try and keep you updated. Thank you all for the amazing support and I love all of you.

Chelsea

[Northern Star Girl]

Dear Chelsea:   Thank you so very much for your UPDATE.   All of your readers here appreciate your report and some of the details that you felt free to share with us.

Life indeed has dealt you a difficult hand this last few weeks.   Kudos to you, especially with the relationship problems with your mother and now with her medical condition....  for stepping up and being so led to do the right thing and take care of her in her time of need.   
You are right about that scenario, she raised you and took care of you and now it is your turn.

It was very good to hear about your friend and the job he offered to you... and also about your progress with getting your taxes owed under control.

We are so very glad to have heard from you and to read your posting.
Only when you have time and feel so led, come back again and give us an update.

Blessings to you as always,
Many Hugs,
Danielle

[pamelatransuk]

Hello Chelsea

There is no denying you have been and are still going through a really torrid time on several fronts; I know how painful it is when you love your mother but she opposes you being true to yourself. It physically hurts.

I am glad to see that your tax bill has been reduced by $9600 and you have TTP (Time to Pay) agreement and that you have found paid work but appreciate you must be exhausted.

Wishing you success and happiness.

Hugs

Pamela xx

[Jayne01]

Hi Chelsea,

Thank you for posting your update. You have had a horrible week for sure but there is still some good news. Your tax bill has been reduced significantly and you have an opportunity for some paid work with your friend. You also mentioned that you will still be doing some CNC work. The long work hours will be very tiring for you, but necessary for now. You have the added difficulty of your mother not accepting Chelsea. These are very stressful times for you, but there is a dim light starting to become visible at the end of the tunnel. Keep working hard and look after your yourself, that dim light will get bigger and brighter.

Hugs,
Jayne

[mm]

Sorry to hear about your problems, at least in the short term you have a way out with a job.  Your situation with your mom doesn't look good at all, has she made any progress in accepting you.

[Katie Jade]

Dear Chelsea - you see, you have friends that will help you, we all said you would have as you are a nice person. Your Mum needs to take her blessings a bit where she can in reality, if you are supporting her then you need to make it clear that its because you are Chelsea and as such you care about her. Old women are still stuck in the 40s 50s 60s 70s etc and we love them because they are but you cant let them stop you  being you, maybe you try some gender neutral clothes etc for a bit..
Sorry random rant a bit but I have similar problem and I have 2 brothers 240+ LBS of muscle and have brains that stop me from outing to my aged parents (other posts) - I have more brains but cant use them it seems... too much GD..
Chelsea
my words above are my thoughts but no matter who, if they love you then they will help you to be happy. if they don't then they are self cantered and if possible need to look after themselves more to appreciate you (hard I know and doesn't suit all situations)

Katie

[Chelsea]

Dear Chelsea - you see, you have friends that will help you, we all said you would have as you are a nice person. Your Mum needs to take her blessings a bit where she can in reality, if you are supporting her then you need to make it clear that its because you are Chelsea and as such you care about her. Old women are still stuck in the 40s 50s 60s 70s etc and we love them because they are but you cant let them stop you  being you, maybe you try some gender neutral clothes etc for a bit..
Sorry random rant a bit but I have similar problem and I have 2 brothers 240+ LBS of muscle and have brains that stop me from outing to my aged parents (other posts) - I have more brains but cant use them it seems... too much GD..
Chelsea
my words above are my thoughts but no matter who, if they love you then they will help you to be happy. if they don't then they are self cantered and if possible need to look after themselves more to appreciate you (hard I know and doesn't suit all situations)

Katie

Katie you are exactly right. I hate to say it but mom is worried more about what people will think about her. She has never ask how I feel or anything at all about my feelings. She works at the court house two days a week and has said things like "If the people at the court house finds out about you being transgender then it will be the end of me." and  also "You should think about what you are doing to my nerves because what you are doing is wrong." Its a lost battle with her but I'm not budging. She actually talked to Alivia today and ask her to talk to me that the medicine I am taking can kill me. My sister said that mom is trying to change my mind. Never going to happen. This makes it very hard on me because I stay there and take care of her.

Hugs,
          Chelsea

[JudiBlueEyes]

Chelsea thank you so much for checking in.  We've all been worried.  As I wrote earlier, I have faith in you and that you will persevere in the end.  I understand your therapist is recommending you get out but only do so after you've taken care of critical items in your life.   It certainly seems you are.  I'm happy your friend was able to offer a job.  Our past actions do pay off eventually, and your quality work and work ethic obviously are known.  I know you are extremely busy but do take a moment for yourself when you can. 
Love to you, Judi

[Rachel]

Chelsea, you are doing all the right things and for the right reasons. Your tax burden will be reduced and you have detail work that eventually will help support your family. You are a strong woman and working your butt off and helping others.

Chelsea, I know it hurts not being accepted by your Mom. A lot of woman's clothing is similar to male clothing. To start undergarments are not usually seen. So you can wear them. Jeans and shorts can be worn without too much attention depending on length and tightness. Tops can be andro. Light makeup is not very noticeable as well as clear nail polish. I am not saying this is optimum but it can be a compromise and it counts for letters if that is something you are in pursuit of. Nail polish is something I like abut a lot of woman could not be bothered or wear clear polish.

Perhaps you will never get your mothers approval but she may turn a blind eye to modest expression of your gender. She also may need some education on what HRT is and how it actually can significantly help someone physically, emotionally and mentally. I know I feel so much better being on HRT then not.

The way your are providing and working so many hours you Mom should be proud of you.

[Chelsea]

Judi and Rachel thank you. Well I have learned today that I do not have the stamina that I did on testosterone, not even close. I haven't been doing any exercise with my arms hoping to help making them look more feminine. The CNC machines I run are pretty simple. After you have the program made and setup your ready to go. Its just a matter of loading material in the machine and wait for them to finish. Now a actually have to do some pretty rough work. I'm very tired and will be doing this every day for a while.

Today I done my first paint correction in 12 years. The car was a black Acura (or we thought it was). This car was scratched up beyond belief. After a little while I discovered that the car was actually blue metallic. I had a very hard time compared to when I done this years earlier. I had to take a few more breaks and drink more because the Spiro dries me out. I'm hoping that after a few weeks of this I will get some of my stamina back.
My friend that owns the shop was very pleased with my work. Working with him during the day gives me someone to talk to and it really helps occupy my mind. Today has helped my depression a lot. I done a little before and after spot on the car just to show how bad it was if any of you are interested. Thanks everyone for the support.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Donna]

Chelsea I'm so glad you have found something. The spiro will knock the crap
Out of you if you don't keep up the fluids. I noticed a drop in stamina but if you increase resistance exercises you can offset some of the loss. By December I had noticed a difference with stamina while moving snow. I increase resistance training and by the end of January I wasn't powering out as much or as often

[Jayne01]

Wow Chelsea! What a difference in the before and after on the paintwork. That is very impressive!

I also noticed a distinct drop in my stamina when my T levels started to drop. I haven't changed anything in my diet or how active I am and my stamina has increased again. I think my body just became used to the new balance of hormones and once the levels stabilised, I started feeling more energetic again.

So happy to see you less depressed. Keep staying strong, you are an inspiration.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Chelsea]

Thank you Donna and Jayne. I sure hope my stamina increases like it has for you girls. There is no way I can exercise my arms right now. I woke up with them very sore this morning. This is going to make it really difficult at work today for sure. I guess most of this is my fault for not exercising them. I have only been working out my legs 3 days a week and they are looking better, still to skinny but maybe one day I will get them in shape. Again thank you for the reply's.

Hugs,
         Chelsea

[steph2.0]

Hi Chelsea,

I haven't written much here, but I am following your thread. I'm sorry for the challenges you're facing, but it sounds like you have a few lifelines out there to help you get past it all, not least being the friends you have here.

My business has taken a hit, too. The manufacturer in Italy I work with has backed way off on selling things in the US due to liability concerns. It's pretty much decimated my business plans. I'm left to falling back on small contract jobs.

I know what you mean about losing stamina and strength. These small jobs mean working out in the hangar instead of in the air conditioned shop. I tried to spend the day out in the 93 degree Florida heat yesterday and after 5 hours I was done for. I also tried to change out the mandrels on my neighbor's tubing bender and realized I'd never be able to lift the big one. I had to give up on it.

But there's not much for it. I'll be back out there again today plugging away at it. It's good to see some progress on the projects, even if it's slow, and there's a paycheck at the end.

Hang in there, Chelsea. We're all on your side.


Stephanie

[JudiBlueEyes]

The car looks great, you're a magician! 

As far as stamina, if you stay active it will come back.  A bit of time with little activity causes the loss.  Don't overdo it and you'll be back to where you want.

Cheers!  Judi