Chelsea's Transition Adventure

[islandgirl]

Yes! Way to go Chelsea! Stick with it! Fifteen minutes a day can be easily found. Even in the car! You can do this, girl!

[JudiBlueEyes]

Wonderful news Chelsea!  Confidence is sexy.  Keep at it.
Judi

[pamelatransuk]

So happy that things are finally looking up for you, Chelsea.

Even though you were unable to practise, the voice therapy went really well.

Keep going; I know you can!

Hugs

Pamela

[Chelsea]

I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?
I mean in the flesh, face to face. I have a friend that lives near me that transitioned over 3 years ago and I have not seen her sense. We talk on facebook a lot but we can never seem to meet up because of our crazy schedules. I just wanted to sit down and talk to someone that has been through or is going through the same things as me. I know I have all of you to talk to but its not the same.
Before anyone says anything about support groups......I am shy and do not or will not do the group thing. Trust me my therapist has tried to get me to go more than once. lol  She also emailed a girl from my town and had me email her. After I did she sent one email back and never answered me again. That was two weeks ago. I also searched FB and its just a bunch of BS.

I managed to get a little Chelsea time this morning in the shop. This is the first time in almost two weeks. I know I am silly but a girl has to make time somewhere. I feel like I'm in prison and only get a few minuets a week to be me. Danielle I know you are here somewhere.... I managed to take a few pics of me running machines for your sweaty pic thing you are doing. lol ...I managed to work for an hour or so before the heat got to me. I so really wish I could do this everyday even if it is silly it makes me happy.

Hugs,
           Chelsea

 

[JulieAllana]

Yes, I have an intense desire to associate with others going through the same thing as myself.  I have found my support group immensely helpful and is one of the few places that I am utterly and completely confident in my presentation as a woman.  I feel like I am in a no judgement zone when there.  Of course, I wouldn't have to go dressed up either, but I always do...it is one of my few outlets.

Afterwards we always go out and get coffee which is another outlet for me to build my confidence in public as there is safety in numbers.  I find it waaay easier to be out and about with other people than just by myself.  This past Sunday our support meeting was 2 hours but the coffee session afterwards was 4 hours!!!  I really had a blast talking and comparing notes. 

I met a young woman who has fully transitioned (surgeries and everything) and meeting and seeing her and her outcome just made me feel so good, like there is hope for me. 

Chelsea, I am not telling you that you should go if you are uncomfortable, but I am telling you that I get A LOT out of going and for me it is so worthwhile!

        Love,
              Julie

[Chelsea]

Yes, I have an intense desire to associate with others going through the same thing as myself.  I have found my support group immensely helpful and is one of the few places that I am utterly and completely confident in my presentation as a woman.  I feel like I am in a no judgement zone when there.  Of course, I wouldn't have to go dressed up either, but I always do...it is one of my few outlets.

Afterwards we always go out and get coffee which is another outlet for me to build my confidence in public as there is safety in numbers.  I find it waaay easier to be out and about with other people than just by myself.  This past Sunday our support meeting was 2 hours but the coffee session afterwards was 4 hours!!!  I really had a blast talking and comparing notes. 

I met a young woman who has fully transitioned (surgeries and everything) and meeting and seeing her and her outcome just made me feel so good, like there is hope for me. 

Chelsea, I am not telling you that you should go if you are uncomfortable, but I am telling you that I get A LOT out of going and for me it is so worthwhile!

        Love,
              Julie

I really wish it was that easy for me but I can't. My blood pressure would be through the roof before I got there.
I don't really have anxiety but in that case it would be really bad.  Just thinking about it kicks my nerves up.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[Northern Star Girl]

I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?
I mean in the flesh, face to face. I have a friend that lives near me that transitioned over 3 years ago and I have not seen her sense. We talk on facebook a lot but we can never seem to meet up because of our crazy schedules. I just wanted to sit down and talk to someone that has been through or is going through the same things as me. I know I have all of you to talk to but its not the same.
Before anyone says anything about support groups......I am shy and do not or will not do the group thing. Trust me my therapist has tried to get me to go more than once. lol  She also emailed a girl from my town and had me email her. After I did she sent one email back and never answered me again. That was two weeks ago. I also searched FB and its just a bunch of BS.

I managed to get a little Chelsea time this morning in the shop. This is the first time in almost two weeks. I know I am silly but a girl has to make time somewhere. I feel like I'm in prison and only get a few minuets a week to be me. Danielle I know you are here somewhere.... I managed to take a few pics of me running machines for your sweaty pic thing you are doing. lol ...I managed to work for an hour or so before the heat got to me. I so really wish I could do this everyday even if it is silly it makes me happy.

Hugs,
           Chelsea

 

Dear Chelsea:  Yes indeed, I am around here somewhere.  I am always looking for and looking forward to following your thread and reading your latest updates.

I am so glad that you are working your job and making a big effort to overcome your difficulties... thank you for keeping us all updated as you have time, but only if you have time...   
... as my dad always told  me  "Work is the yeast that raises the dough"

As I had mentioned to Ellie @Roll on her thread when she mentioned a similar situation, just being there with your trans-friend, intently listening and also sharing your experiences is very good therapy for both of you.   If you feel uncomfortable being with her for whatever reason...  you can keep the relationship online, on the phone, or if you do meet you can keep it at arms length, perhaps having a coffee or casual lunch...  and be very careful with your hormonal induced emotions....   here I am again being the "hormone police" as one of my followers said about me!! LOL

I love your "hot and sweaty" pictures although I don't see any sweat...   just a hot young woman!!!

I am having difficulty so far getting started on my "Hot and Sweaty" picture montage... but your picture or pictures will be in it if and when I get it up and running, hopefully this summer.

Thank you for taking care of your followers and readers by posting your updates again...  please, even if you are having difficulties (we all do have difficulties) please don't go "silent" ...  it would again cause all of us here great concern.  You obviously are able to take a break for however long you must, but please post such a notice so that we won't worry as much.

Hugs and well wishes as always...
Danielle

[Laurie]

  Hi Girlfriend,

  I am glad you got a bit of "me" time in, in the shop today. As usual you are looking great. Support group are a mixed bunch. Some of the are good. Some of them are fun. Some are both and some are neither. I went to one once and for me the negatives of going outweighed the positives. I have not been back to that one yet nor have I been to another.
  On the subject of meeting another transwoman, I highly recommend it. For me the experience has bee great. But keep in mind that I knew all these other women before meeting them. well most of them at any rate. I am up to 37 I think now and all have been good to meet and spend time with.
 
Hugs,
  Laurie

[Roll]

I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?

I definitely did. It took 10 months to do so, but I finally did by pure luck courtesy of my recent lack of filter on coming out to random people, and it was everything I was hoping it be. The sense of instant connection and community even with the two of us both painfully socially awkward was incredible.

[Chelsea]

I definitely did. It took 10 months to do so, but I finally did by pure luck courtesy of my recent lack of filter on coming out to random people, and it was everything I was hoping it be. The sense of instant connection and community even with the two of us both painfully socially awkward was incredible.

Ellie, thank you for replying to my thread. I hope I am lucky enough to meet someone to talk to like you. I have tried but so far every attempt did nothing.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[Jayne01]

I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?
I mean in the flesh, face to face. I have a friend that lives near me that transitioned over 3 years ago and I have not seen her sense. We talk on facebook a lot but we can never seem to meet up because of our crazy schedules. I just wanted to sit down and talk to someone that has been through or is going through the same things as me. I know I have all of you to talk to but its not the same.
Before anyone says anything about support groups......I am shy and do not or will not do the group thing. Trust me my therapist has tried to get me to go more than once. lol  She also emailed a girl from my town and had me email her. After I did she sent one email back and never answered me again. That was two weeks ago. I also searched FB and its just a bunch of BS.

I managed to get a little Chelsea time this morning in the shop. This is the first time in almost two weeks. I know I am silly but a girl has to make time somewhere. I feel like I'm in prison and only get a few minuets a week to be me. Danielle I know you are here somewhere.... I managed to take a few pics of me running machines for your sweaty pic thing you are doing. lol ...I managed to work for an hour or so before the heat got to me. I so really wish I could do this everyday even if it is silly it makes me happy. [emoji4]

Hugs,
           Chelsea

 

Hiya Chelsea!

It took me a long time to meet another trans person face to face. Nearly 3 years after I first realised I might be trans and started therapy. Support groups are not for everybody. I agree that an online friendship is not the same as a face to face personal friendship. Sounds like you get on well with this Facebook friend. Keep trying to meet up with her. You already have an established friendship so meeting in person should not be a problem from an anxiety point of view.

So glad you are able to get a little Chelsea time. You are looking awesome, as usual! I know the feeling of being in prison when you can't be yourself. It is really hard. Keep giving yourself some Chelsea's time whenever you have an opportunity and if possible, try doing some little things to express your femininity.

Safety police!!! Are you operating the machines with your hair as it is in the photos? It may only be a wig now, but someday it will be your real hair and I would hate for a machine to suck you in by the hair. I hope I'm not being an over protective grandma! [emoji23]

One other thing.....did you flip the photos horizontally (mirror image), or is it the selfie camera on your phone that automatically flips the image?

So happy and proud of you the way you are working so hard to overcome your difficulties.

(((Big hug)))
Jayne

[Dena]

Safety police!!! Are you operating the machines with your hair as it is in the photos? It may only be a wig now, but someday it will be your real hair and I would hate for a machine to suck you in by the hair. I hope I'm not being an over protective grandma! [emoji23]

I think she's safe. The cutting tool is inside the closed cabinet behind her. One of the reason for the cabinet would be safety however it also  keeps the cutting oil from splashing all over the place.

[Jayne01]

I think she's safe. The cutting tool is inside the closed cabinet behind her. One of the reason for the cabinet would be safety however it also  keeps the cutting oil from splashing all over the place.

Yeah I know. I was just thinking of safe work practices, it comes from working 25 years in the airline industry maintaining aircraft. Can never be too safe.

[Chelsea]

Yeah I know. I was just thinking of safe work practices, it comes from working 25 years in the airline industry maintaining aircraft. Can never be too safe.

Dena is correct. Also the doors lock while the machine is running. I do have some manual machines also but buy the time I have enough money for a hair transplant those machine will be antiques will holes rusted in them.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[JudiBlueEyes]

Chelsea, you're looking good, and that is one serious machine you have! 

I had never met a transgender person and my therapist recommended a small group nearby.  I was terrified and it was a little awkward at first.  I still go every now and then, but I found another larger group further away that I really enjoy.  The people are great.  I stay in touch with a couple people outside of the meetings.  There is a FB group but I don't do FB.

Try to connect your old friend to rekindle the friendship and give the new, local person another shoot out.  Relationships take time.   

You sound good and it seems things are looking up little by little. 

Judi

[Cheaney]

At first I felt that I didn't need to meet other trans women or lgbt in general. But after getting involved with a new church that is open and affirming, I realized how wrong I was. The more I'm around affirming people the more I'm ok with being trans and the more my transphobia/homophobia goes away. I'm with you though in that the support group thing is not my thing. All kinds of people tell me that I need to go but I'm not ready yet or I'll just never be ready.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[sarah1972]

I have a question for you girls. When you first started transitioning did you want to meet another trans person?

I did want to meet a trans person after I realized what is going on. There was just never a time for me to go to the local trans support group, so I ended up meeting and talking to the first trans person at a LGBT picnic of our local school district over a year later. Then another 6 months until I attended a holiday gathering at one of our local (and very supportive) churches. Then @Megan. and @Laurie. I am sure I have seen more but never interacted. There are still many here on Susan's I would like to meet in person one day.

Maybe... since I talk to myself every now and then... Does it count as talking to a trans person? 

[Sonja]

Maybe... since I talk to myself every now and then... Does it count as talking to a trans person? 

Actually talking to yourself is supposed to be the first sign of madness.......LOL - and I do it often... 
I have really wanted to get in contact with and meet with other transgirls in person lately, I've been looking up support groups to go along to ( ditto  -don't really like groups so much, much prefer one on one )  in the hope of meeting a new friend or 2 that I can relate to.

@Chelsea - I'm really glad that things have brightened up for you, even a little bit is excellent - I'm sure most of us relish any and all of our small victories.

Take care always,

Sonja X

[Chelsea]

I had a really awesome day. It started out normal with work until I got a phone call from HAAS (The company that I pay monthly for one of my cnc machines.) I was scared to death because I am already 8 days late on my machine payment, or at least I thought it was late. The guy was wanting to know when I was going to pay the remaining $200 for this month. I should owe about $1300 so something wasn't right. I always pay over the machine payment to make it even and I have accumulated a few hundred dollars that I didn't know about in the last two years. I only had to pay $200 and I am caught up until next month! I am not out of the woods by no means but this gives me time to pay back my friend and start saving money for next month early.

So what did I do? I took the rest of the day off. I know I should be working but, I have already worked 60 hours this week and its only Thursday. I think I deserve it.  It must have been luck that I took mom to work this morning because I had to use the car today. I made another small step and went out in the car as Chelsea except this is the first time out in the day. Me and Alivia drove to the lake. It was beautiful and I actually got out and walked around. There was only a few other people there but I didn't park next to them. I still get really nervous, especially when getting out of the car and it took me a few minuets. Alivia tried to get me to hit the drive through again on the way home  I might have if I had my female voice.

Something I wanted to ask you girls. Sense the earliest of memories I have always felt weird around pretty girls. Its hard to explain. Its a like a jealous feeling I guess of because I don't look like they do or I'm not them. Sense being on HRT this has gotten a lot worse. I have seen a few good looking women that actually threw me into a bad depression more than once these past two months. Today While at the lake I seen another good looking girl and I could feel those feelings coming very strong. Have any of you heard of this or am I just crazy? I got back in the car and talked myself out of it with the help of my girlfriend. I plan on talking to my therapist about it but just wanted to know if this is normal to a trans person? Today was the worst I'm guessing because I was dressed as Chelsea but I was in tears. I'm fine now but I hope I can get over this or I'm going to have a really hard time in public. I think some of it comes from the fear of not knowing what I'm going to look like in the future. Thank all of you for reading this mess of a post but I hate felling like that and wondered what your thoughts are on this.

Hugs,
          Chelsea

[Jayne01]

I had a really awesome day. It started out normal with work until I got a phone call from HAAS (The company that I pay monthly for one of my cnc machines.) I was scared to death because I am already 8 days late on my machine payment, or at least I thought it was late. The guy was wanting to know when I was going to pay the remaining $200 for this month. I should owe about $1300 so something wasn't right. I always pay over the machine payment to make it even and I have accumulated a few hundred dollars that I didn't know about in the last two years. I only had to pay $200 and I am caught up until next month! I am not out of the woods by no means but this gives me time to pay back my friend and start saving money for next month early.

So what did I do? I took the rest of the day off. I know I should be working but, I have already worked 60 hours this week and its only Thursday. I think I deserve it.  It must have been luck that I took mom to work this morning because I had to use the car today. I made another small step and went out in the car as Chelsea except this is the first time out in the day. Me and Alivia drove to the lake. It was beautiful and I actually got out and walked around. There was only a few other people there but I didn't park next to them. I still get really nervous, especially when getting out of the car and it took me a few minuets. Alivia tried to get me to hit the drive through again on the way home  I might have if I had my female voice.

Something I wanted to ask you girls. Sense the earliest of memories I have always felt weird around pretty girls. Its hard to explain. Its a like a jealous feeling I guess of because I don't look like they do or I'm not them. Sense being on HRT this has gotten a lot worse. I have seen a few good looking women that actually threw me into a bad depression more than once these past two months. Today While at the lake I seen another good looking girl and I could feel those feelings coming very strong. Have any of you heard of this or am I just crazy? I got back in the car and talked myself out of it with the help of my girlfriend. I plan on talking to my therapist about it but just wanted to know if this is normal to a trans person? Today was the worst I'm guessing because I was dressed as Chelsea but I was in tears. I'm fine now but I hope I can get over this or I'm going to have a really hard time in public. I think some of it comes from the fear of not knowing what I'm going to look like in the future. Thank all of you for reading this mess of a post but I hate felling like that and wondered what your thoughts are on this.

Hugs,
          Chelsea

Hi Chelsea,

Great news with your machine payments. That must have come as a very pleasant surprise to you, discovering you only owe a fraction of this month's payments than you thought. You absolutely deserved to take the rest of the day off. You work very hard, giving yourself a well deserved treat once in a while is good for your self esteem.

Congratulations on your first day outing as Chelsea. Each time gets easier than the last until eventually you will just do it without thinking about it.

The feeling you describe when seeing other women is not uncommon. I have experienced the same thing. I found that when I am out in public as Jayne and interacting with other people, that dysphoric feeling goes away. The times I have to present male, the feeling is very strong, because I am knowingly hiding my true self. In other words, the more you spend time as your true self, going about your day doing normal everyday things, the more normal you feel and the feelings you describe are just not there.

My thoughts are that today felt very bad for you because even though you were dressed as Chelsea, it was your first time out during the day and you felt very self conscious and nervous about it all. The nervousness overshadowed the comfort of being your true self. It will feel better the next time. You have nothing to worry about regarding how you will look in the future. You are beautiful! As the hormones continue to work, your feminine appearance will only continue to improve. As you start believing in yourself more, you become more confident being out in public. Definitely discuss this with your therapist at your next appointment, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. It all sounds very normal to me.

I am so happy for you. This latest post from you was full of wonderful news.

Hugs,
Jayne