Chelsea's Transition Adventure

[Northern Star Girl]

Well Alivia has gotten in touch with her family in Alabama and has made arrangements to leave here Saturday. Shes going to have a place to stay with her aunt for a while so she will be in good hands. I still care a great deal about her but I know its the best thing to let her go. I have for the last 4 hours been crying thinking about 10 years of history with her. I don't mind being single for a little while but as I have said before I am a very lonely person anyway. I have anxiety already because I know whats coming after she leaves.
Now I am worried about myself. I know I will just work through the financial issues I have so I'm ok there. I see a lot of transgenders that are single. I don't know why but its scary to me. Once I do go full time, how am I going to meet anyone? I get hit on often on Facebook but they are all guys. I'm not into guys so there is another problem. Maybe I'm over thinking this because I am stressed, I don't know. I guess I'm just being a wimp today. lol



Hugs,
         Chelsea

@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea:   I am so glad to read your update... and very glad that you are making certain that Alivia has her move back to Alabama arranged with her aunt.  Oh yeah, no matter how bad the last several years have been, breaking up is hard to do.... as the oldies song says.

Oh yeah, I am single too, and have been single most of my life, but I have made certain that I extend my friendship to all around me and am actively building relationships, acquaintances, friendships, romantic friends, etc..... in other words, I do not wait for people to come to me.   An adage that my good friend and member here on the Forums... @Jessica  has this on her profile:
"
    "If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."

I am very happy to hear that you are feeling good about getting your finances back in order...

Stay strong, keep on keeping on.... and this next thing  is very important ...
"Positive Mindset... put away negativity"

Thank you for keeping us all up to date.
Hugs and always wishing you the best,
Danielle

[KathyLauren]

Chealsea, don't stress about how things will work out.  They will work out.

Breaking up is hard to do, but it sounds like you are accepting it with a positive attitude and good wishes for Alivia.

I am glad to hear you sounding positive about your financial issues.  You will work through them, I have no doubt about that.

Being single is an opportunity to learn about yourself.  You can experiment will all kinds of presentations, attitudes, activities and friendships without worrying about accommodating a partner.  The best way to attract a compatible partner is to be the best you that you can be, and being single is your opportunity to work on that.

I have no doubt that you will take these changes in stride as they happen.  You are stronger than you think.

[Jessica]

Big hugs Chelsea, we all feel the pain that our sisters and brothers go through, especially during relationships taking a different road. 
How does one re-establish a social life that has never been established?
Social skills need learning, connections found.
Are the choices I make safe when reaching out?
These are dilemmas that young women, growing and learning about the world, go through.
But the social need is strong for a healthy life, so you learn the best you can.
Cues from peers and role models shaped most of our outwards self, whereas the inner most self is struggling to find the connections that make it fluid in manner and panache.

By the way your newest pics have style and confidence!

Bigger hug, Jessica

[Susan Baum]

Huge hugs, Chelsea. You are - and you will be OK.

Well Alivia has gotten in touch with her family in Alabama and has made arrangements to leave here Saturday. Shes going to have a place to stay with her aunt for a while so she will be in good hands. I still care a great deal about her but I know its the best thing to let her go. I have for the last 4 hours been crying thinking about 10 years of history with her. I don't mind being single for a little while but as I have said before I am a very lonely person anyway. I have anxiety already because I know whats coming after she leaves.

If I may, I suggest the emotions you're feeling are grief - and I can personally attest they can be devastating and freeze you in space and time. Allow yourself time to mourn and sort everything out; there is no timetable or gatekeeper here.

While most think of grief in terms of death of a loved one, it can effect anyone who goes through a divorce, has a break-up, suffers a severe accident or faces some other life-changing trauma. The fact that her leaving is effecting you as deeply as it is means that although the relationship has changed, there may always be an Alivia sized hole in your heart; it just takes a bit of time to build a bridge over the space. When the bridge is in place, you'll feel free to live again.

As hard as it is for you to see Alivia leaving you have the comfort and solace of knowing she will be safe and protected. Talk to your counselor or find a good book on the subject - there are many fine titles out there and not all are "faith" based.

No, I am not an expert; this is from experience after losing my bride to the dreaded Big C 8 years ago. YMMV.

Take heart,  sweet Chelsea, your journey will go on.

Susan

[JudiBlueEyes]

Chelsea I know it's hard to envision a life without Alivia but as George Harrison wrote in one of my favorite songs.

"Sunrise doesn't last all morning
A cloudburst doesn't last all day
Seems my love is up and has left you with no warning
It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away

Sunset doesn't last all evening
A mind can blow those clouds away
After all this, my love is up and must be leaving
It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
None of life's strings can last
So, I must be on my way
And face another day

Now the darkness only stays the night-time
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time
It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away"

You will do fine.   You have proven to be a strong and resilient person in the face of adversity.  You may not think so but we can all see it in you.   The dark clouds will soon pass you too.

Love to you, Judi

[christinej78]

Well Alivia has gotten in touch with her family in Alabama and has made arrangements to leave here Saturday. Shes going to have a place to stay with her aunt for a while so she will be in good hands. I still care a great deal about her but I know its the best thing to let her go. I have for the last 4 hours been crying thinking about 10 years of history with her. I don't mind being single for a little while but as I have said before I am a very lonely person anyway. I have anxiety already because I know whats coming after she leaves.
Now I am worried about myself. I know I will just work through the financial issues I have so I'm ok there. I see a lot of transgenders that are single. I don't know why but its scary to me. Once I do go full time, how am I going to meet anyone? I get hit on often on Facebook but they are all guys. I'm not into guys so there is another problem. Maybe I'm over thinking this because I am stressed, I don't know. I guess I'm just being a wimp today. lol

Hugs,
         Chelsea

Dear Chelsea,                    21 July 2018

I'll keep it short; most here know I'm MTF transsexual. My counselor told me in no uncertain term that I am not gay. She said I have a strong attraction to women. That makes me a lesbian and I am thankful for that. I cannot imagine having an intimate relationship with a man. With a trans or cis female, that would be fantastic.

I know what men are like and I don't like the way they are. I "were" one once upon a time and don't like the repressed thoughts of the way he "were."

Listen to your heart, but wait until the mourning period has ended; you will know when that happens and that's when you will be able to think clearly. The amount of time varies for each individual.

Please take care of yourself.

Best Always, All My Love, Always,
Christine "the Bloody ol Nag" that keeps nagging like a UTI keeps dripping; an irritant if you will; I truly mean well for you. You will be fine because you are fine.

[Northern Star Girl]

      OH where, OH where is our beloved Chelsea?
I hope and trust that you are doing well with all that you are dealing with in your life.

Your followers and readers of your thread are in desperate need of an UPDATE from you....   
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[maybesoph]

Yes Chelsea

I totally second this girl, your friends are worried about you xx

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

[Jayne01]

Dear Chelsea,

I am sorry I have not kept up with your thread over the past few weeks. I have been away and I am now trying to catch up with all my friends here at Susan's.

So much has happened in my absence. I love the two photos you posted. The photo with your natural hair is my favourite. I even kind of like the messy look. There is great potential for some styling with what you have already. No need to wait for it to get longer. And there is definitely no evidence of any males in any of your photos. You look completely feminine and very beautiful.

I am sorry you have started to feel down with Alivia moving out. This was expected. As others have already posted, you are experiencing grief. This will take time for you to work through. It is different for everyone, so there is no set time. I might suggest to try not to worry yourself about any future relationships. That is something that can wait until after you are done processing your grief. In the meantime, work on Chelsea. Explore what works and what doesn't work with styles of clothing and hair. You have said that your mother does not want to see you as Chelsea. That is tough. You can however find styles that are androgynous, for both your hair and clothing. Speak to a hairstylist to learn what can be done with your hair so that you can style it male or female depending on how you need to present.

You are making incredible progress so far. Keep up your hard work and maintain a positive mindset. You will be ok, better than ok. You are already great and will be awesome!

Hang in there.

Also, you are probably not really feeling like posting any updates right now, but if you can, please post a quick update to let us all know that you are ok.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Chelsea]

Hi everyone!  Is there any Chelsea fans still hanging around? I have had a few emails from members wondering where Ive been so I just popped in to let you all know. I have plenty of time to post the nest few days but I will get to that in a moment. The two main reasons I have not posted in three weeks is I have been working long hours and the second I really do not have anything good to report with the exception of I love how I'm starting to look. Peanut butter and jelly is doing me good.    Ive not done any measurements of my body yet so I might just skip the 5 month update and wait till next month.

All of you might remember I painted my brothers red mustang a couple months ago? Last week something fell on the hood and damaged it pretty bad so I repaired it for him. Late yesterday I was just finishing the final clear coat on it and tripped on the stupid air hose and fell. I hurt my back pretty bad and cannot walk with out someone helping me so that's why I'm laying here in bed typing this now. Good news is I'm getting a little rest but bad is I cant work for a few days. lol My luck never ends.

I have hurt my back in the past so I know I will be OK in a few days. I'm alive and tiring to stay in good spirits even though its hard sometimes. I will post more as soon as I have some good news for you girls and there will have to be some soon. It don't get much worse. lol

Hugs to everyone.

Chelsea

[Sonja]

Hi everyone!  Is there any Chelsea fans still hanging around? I have had a few emails from members wondering where Ive been so I just popped in to let you all know. I have plenty of time to post the nest few days but I will get to that in a moment. The two main reasons I have not posted in three weeks is I have been working long hours and the second I really do not have anything good to report with the exception of I love how I'm starting to look. Peanut butter and jelly is doing me good.    Ive not done any measurements of my body yet so I might just skip the 5 month update and wait till next month.

All of you might remember I painted my brothers red mustang a couple months ago? Last week something fell on the hood and damaged it pretty bad so I repaired it for him. Late yesterday I was just finishing the final clear coat on it and tripped on the stupid air hose and fell. I hurt my back pretty bad and cannot walk with out someone helping me so that's why I'm laying here in bed typing this now. Good news is I'm getting a little rest but bad is I cant work for a few days. lol My luck never ends.

I have hurt my back in the past so I know I will be OK in a few days. I'm alive and tiring to stay in good spirits even though its hard sometimes. I will post more as soon as I have some good news for you girls and there will have to be some soon. It don't get much worse. lol

Hugs to everyone.

Chelsea

@Chelsea

SHE'S BACK!!!

Hi Chelsea,

Nice to hear from you, sorry about your back but at least you get to sit and read all the updates on Susan's!
I just had to work till 3am because one of my clients f###ed up their planning permission and for some reason it was left to me to fix.. Ggrrrr....anyway, taking a break now....just like you 


Take care,

Sonja

[Jayne01]

Hey Chelsea!

Welcome back. We missed you. Sorry you got injured. I hope you feel better soon.

It's very nice to hear that you are in good spirits. Please keep your updates coming. It doesn't always have to be good news that you write about. We love to hear the good news, but are also here to support you through the not so good times.

Rest up and get well soon.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Northern Star Girl]

@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea:  It is great to see your re-arrival here on the forums.  Your readers and followers have been concerned for you since you went silent for 3 weeks. 
You have a lot of folks here on the Forums that truly care about you and your well-being.

Your 5 month update will certainly be exciting... are you going to that show you had talked about in some of your posts a couple months ago.   After 5 months of HRT you might want to consider going as Chelsea in female mode otherwise how do you explain your boobs!!!  LOL

Sorry to hear about the hood that you had painted and now just repaired... and now with tripping over the air hose and hurting your back....   you could probably blame the hormones if you want to.

Yes, we all will want to read and see your next HRT update.  We are you biggest fans...
We are all rooting for you.

Oh, by the way, I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Stay as positive as you can and please come back to your thread very soon or else we will come looking for you.

Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

***NOTE:  It is indeed great to see you on here again, please don't be a stranger and don't disappear anytime soon.
.
.

[steph2.0]

Hi Chelsea, thanks for the update! Sorry you got hurt.

I'm no stranger to painting. When I build a plane I have to paint it, so I've got two HVLP systems and a homebrew paint booth. Before I went to waterborne urethanes I had to drag around not just the feed hose, but the breather, too. It's a wonder I didn't kill myself or put a hole in a plane trying to navigate the tangle. I've gone from a turbine to a compressor-based system, so now I only have the one small feed hose to drag around, but it's still always in the way or tangling on the rotisserie. When are they going to invent hoseless sprayers like we now have cordless drills?

Get well soon!

Stephanie

[Chelsea]

Thank you girls.  I have missed you all.

[Chelsea]

@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea:  It is great to see your re-arrival here on the forums.  Your readers and followers have been concerned for you since you went silent for 3 weeks. 
You have a lot of folks here on the Forums that truly care about you and your well-being.

Your 5 month update will certainly be exciting... are you going to that show you had talked about in some of your posts a couple months ago.   After 5 months of HRT you might want to consider going as Chelsea in female mode otherwise how do you explain your boobs!!!  LOL

Sorry to hear about the hood that you had painted and now just repaired... and now with tripping over the air hose and hurting your back....   you could probably blame the hormones if you want to.

Yes, we all will want to read and see your next HRT update.  We are you biggest fans...
We are all rooting for you.

Oh, by the way, I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Stay as positive as you can and please come back to your thread very soon or else we will come looking for you.

Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

***NOTE:  It is indeed great to see you on here again, please don't be a stranger and don't disappear anytime soon.
.
.

Danielle I have no idea. I have had two people this week that has not seen me in a long time. One ask me why my face looks so soft and young and the other one I could tell was looking at me a little odd. She kept looking at my face and when I would talk to her she would look away. I felt kind of weird. There is no way this is happening already is it?
I already walk different tiring to hide the girls. Im starting to get worried because I cant come out yet. I like that its working so good but I feel like people are looking at me different than before. I get paranoid in stores now. lol
It does make me nervous.

Hugs,

Chelsea

[Sonja]

Danielle I have no idea. I have had two people this week that has not seen me in a long time. One ask me why my face looks so soft and young and the other one I could tell was looking at me a little odd. She kept looking at my face and when I would talk to her she would look away. I felt kind of weird. There is no way this is happening already is it?
I already walk different tiring to hide the girls. Im starting to get worried because I cant come out yet. I like that its working so good but I feel like people are looking at me different than before. I get paranoid in stores now. lol
It does make me nervous.

Hugs,

Chelsea

@Chelsea

Is it possible that your longer hair is causing people to think to themselves 'why do you look different'?  I'm growing my hair longer at the moment and I see people I know stare a tiny bit longer than normal - theyre trying to figure out whats different about me (not on hrt atm)

Sonja.

[Chelsea]

@Chelsea

Is it possible that your longer hair is causing people to think to themselves 'why do you look different'?  I'm growing my hair longer at the moment and I see people I know stare a tiny bit longer than normal - theyre trying to figure out whats different about me (not on hrt atm)

Sonja.

I think its more my face. It has changed a lot faster than I thought it would. Cant stop it now. lol
Its is going to be interesting and scary. lol

Hugs,
   
Chelsea

[JudiBlueEyes]

mmm, I like PB&J too.  Had one for lunch on Monday! 

I think your face will fill out a bit on estrogen (mine did) and that alone will trigger questions and looks.   Don't get paranoid.  You own this and are on your way.  Enjoy it. 

I'm sorry to hear you're laid up. Please be careful in the shop.  I know its easy to get distracted and trip. I circled around and wrapped the hose around my leg at my last session in November which caused me to fall back against the booth wall.  No damage but it woke me up. 

Thanks for the update.  Don't be so long next time.  Even a little news is welcome!
Judi 

[Northern Star Girl]

Danielle I have no idea. I have had two people this week that has not seen me in a long time. One ask me why my face looks so soft and young and the other one I could tell was looking at me a little odd. She kept looking at my face and when I would talk to her she would look away. I felt kind of weird. There is no way this is happening already is it?
I already walk different tiring to hide the girls. Im starting to get worried because I cant come out yet. I like that its working so good but I feel like people are looking at me different than before. I get paranoid in stores now. lol
It does make me nervous.

Hugs,

Chelsea

@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea:
Welcome to the world of transtioning that most of us that follow your thread are experiencing.   Yes indeed, at about a half year into HRT many have reported breast growth that is difficult to hide.  It is very exciting for sure.   
I was at a full A cup at just 6 months and at the year mark I was close to a B cup.

I am happy for you and for your HRT progess, please keep the reports coming, keep working on your finances and family issues .... and KEEP posting your updates on here..... PLEASE.

Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle