Chelsea's Transition Adventure

[maybesoph]

Chelsea omg,

Truth, you look fantastic with natural hair and I think it looks good, but I'm an 80's kid
Can't believe how your face has changed recently, you look so much younger.
You've a beautiful slender neck is try and rock the natural hair I really would.



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[Jayne01]

OMG Chelsea!!! I love your hair. You are totally rocking that look. There is absolutely no male in any of your photos. You are a very beautiful young lady. You and I are the same age, but you look at least 10 to 15 years younger than you are.

I agree with Danielle. Ditch the wig. You look equally great with or without the wig, so why not go out as your natural self. It will do wonders for your self confidence. Your own hair will grow in time to how you would like it. In the meantime, you look awesome, and totally feminine. You don't need the wig to pass.

Looking forward to more of your updates.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Chelsea]

I want to thank every single one of you. Wow!  I didn't expect all of that. I really wasn't to fond of it myself, I guess because its a drastic change from the wig I have. By the time I am ready to go full time (or even part time lol) My hair will have grown out a lot more and I might just be able to pull this off. By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away. Everything else I need I can do as I get the cash I guess.
Again thanks for everyone's input!

Hugs,
         Chelsea

[christinej78]

I want to thank every single one of you. Wow!  I didn't expect all of that. I really wasn't to fond of it myself, I guess because its a drastic change from the wig I have. By the time I am ready to go full time (or even part time lol) My hair will have grown out a lot more and I might just be able to pull this off. By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away. Everything else I need I can do as I get the cash I guess.
Again thanks for everyone's input!

Hugs,
         Chelsea

Dear Chelsea,                    17 August 2018

" By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away."

Heaven forbid; have the Adam's apple shaved, not removed.  The procedure, chondrolaryngoplasty. aka tracheal shave, is what I think you are referring to.

You are doing FINE.

Best Always, All My Love, Always,
Christine

[Chelsea]

Dear Chelsea,                    17 August 2018

" By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away."

Heaven forbid; have the Adam's apple shaved, not removed.  The procedure, chondrolaryngoplasty. aka tracheal shave, is what I think you are referring to.

You are doing FINE.

Best Always, All My Love, Always,
Christine

Shaved, Removed, Whatever the correct term is I want it gone. I'm sure you got my point. lol

[Allison S]

That's the right attitude Chelsea! At least I think it is

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[Northern Star Girl]

I want to thank every single one of you. Wow!  I didn't expect all of that. I really wasn't to fond of it myself, I guess because its a drastic change from the wig I have. By the time I am ready to go full time (or even part time lol) My hair will have grown out a lot more and I might just be able to pull this off. By the time I get my adams apple removed and my voice then I should be ready if I can keep from getting so nervous. No way I'm going out with that thing on my throat or this voice. That's a dead give away. Everything else I need I can do as I get the cash I guess.
Again thanks for everyone's input!

Hugs,
         Chelsea

@Chelsea: 
Dear Chelsea:
I think that you will find that with your natural and already quite beautiful hair, even as short as it is, that you will be much happier and you will be able to change and experiment with various styles. 
For you, I would think that not fussing with a wig in the hot late summer weather and not fussing with a long hair wig at all should be a very welcome change....  just my opinion that is all.

In the past I have grown my own hair out to below shoulder length as shown in some of my earlier photos in my thread, but when spring time came around I decided to get it cut to a more manageable shorter length, much easier to deal with in both informal and formal situations.... and there are many cute and feminine styles for us girls with shorter hair. 

I had thought that I might have trepidation about cutting my hair because it took such a long time to get it to that longer lenghth... but rest assured, I feel no less feminine with it being shorter.   I know that a lot of trans-women feel that long hair is essential to passing and being feminine but my own experience does not endorse that as a fact.   

I may grow it out again but I have been enjoying the way it is now.   


Regarding your adams apple and voice, I would think that your voice would be a higher priority... the adams apple might bother you more than anyone else and can be masked by choker necklaces but it is the voice that can be a dead giveaway.   Also eyebrow shaping, cosmetics, nail polish, clothing, shoes, mannerisms and body movements....   all of these are important to passing.

As always I am wishing you well, and I am so glad to see and read and to "feel" your positivity.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle

[Chelsea]

@Chelsea: 
Dear Chelsea:
I think that you will find that with your natural and already quite beautiful hair, even as short as it is, that you will be much happier and you will be able to change and experiment with various styles. 
For you, I would think that not fussing with a wig in the hot late summer weather and not fussing with a long hair wig at all should be a very welcome change....  just my opinion that is all.

In the past I have grown my own hair out to below shoulder length as shown in some of my earlier photos in my thread, but when spring time came around I decided to get it cut to a more manageable shorter length, much easier to deal with in both informal and formal situations.... and there are many cute and feminine styles for us girls with shorter hair. 

I had thought that I might have trepidation about cutting my hair because it took such a long time to get it to that longer lenghth... but rest assured, I feel no less feminine with it being shorter.   I know that a lot of trans-women feel that long hair is essential to passing and being feminine but my own experience does not endorse that as a fact.   

I may grow it out again but I have been enjoying the way it is now.   


Regarding your adams apple and voice, I would think that your voice would be a higher priority... the adams apple might bother you more than anyone else and can be masked by choker necklaces but it is the voice that can be a dead giveaway.   Also eyebrow shaping, cosmetics, nail polish, clothing, shoes, mannerisms and body movements....   all of these are important to passing.

As always I am wishing you well, and I am so glad to see and read and to "feel" your positivity.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle

Thank you Danielle.  The wig is just how I would like to see my natural hair in the future. I love the curls and always have. Unfortunately I don't know if I can make it look that way without a small hair transplant.

My voice lessons I will continue if and when I get the money. I miss going to those so much.

Now Cosmetics, nail polish, mannerisms and body movements, I got this girl. Joni and Beth said I did very well.

Eyebrow shaping I really do not know what good it will do considering that they used to be about a half inch higher on my forehead. This why I need the face lift.

Clothing and shoes is another thing.  I just cant afford to buy any at this time.

Thats the reason I wasn't to worried about the hair because I have so far to go before I feel comfortable enough to present myself in public. I know some of you are going to say that I look good enough a should go ahead but until I am happy with myself then I don't see how anyone else will be, and I have mom that I have to sneak around that makes it a lot harder.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[pamelatransuk]

My voice lessons I will continue if and when I get the money. I miss going to those so much.

Now Cosmetics, nail polish, mannerisms and body movements, I got this girl. Joni and Beth said I did very well.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

Chelsea

I hope you are soon able to continue the voice training as you correctly see it as beneficial (and you miss it now).

Well done that you have made such progress on cosmetics, nail polish, mannerisms and body movements and probably others you've not listed.

Hugs

Pamela

[maybesoph]

Hi all,

I'm extremely worried about Chelsea, I messaged her the other night and she is really down, seriously down.

Anyone else heard from her recently??


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[Chelsea]

Hi all,

I'm extremely worried about Chelsea, I messaged her the other night and she is really down, seriously down.

Anyone else heard from her recently??


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I'm here Sophie. Thank you for checking in on me. I have been working daylight to dark and have very little time is why I have not posted anything. I'm not going to lie and say everything is great when its not but, I will make it one day.
For the record because of a comment that was made in a PM, the problems I am having does not have one thing to do with my transition. The only problem I have there is my mother as you all know. Actually my progress with HRT is amazing. I never guessed at my age it would work as good as it has been. I will post as soon as I have something good to report. I love each and every one of you!

Hugs, 
            Chelsea

[JudiBlueEyes]

Thanks for checking in with us.  Take care!

[Northern Star Girl]

I'm here Sophie. Thank you for checking in on me. I have been working daylight to dark and have very little time is why I have not posted anything. I'm not going to lie and say everything is great when its not but, I will make it one day.
For the record because of a comment that was made in a PM, the problems I am having does not have one thing to do with my transition. The only problem I have there is my mother as you all know. Actually my progress with HRT is amazing. I never guessed at my age it would work as good as it has been. I will post as soon as I have something good to report. I love each and every one of you!

Hugs, 
            Chelsea

@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: 
Yes indeed, all of your followers are quite happy now that you have "checked -in" and let us all know that you are alive and kicking.   

I am sorry that you have to work so hard but when one is in a hole one needs to stop digging and start climbing out... soon enough with your determination and willpower you will start seeing some daylight.

I am concerned to hear that you are still having problems with your mother....  keep being persistent and do what you have to do in that situation.

And, Chelsea, please know that your posts and comments are always welcome here on your thread and around the Forums, no matter if it is good news or bad news.   With the good news we will rejoice with you and with the not so good news we will support you with our thoughts, comments and lots and lots of HUGS.

Thanks again for posting again on your thread.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

[Jayne01]

Hi Chelsea,

Thank you for the update to let us know you are ok. I'm sorry things are not great for you but you have a determination that will get you through anything. Don't ever give up!

As Danielle pointed out, you don't only have to post when there is good news. You have friends here that care about you and will give support when you need it. We are a worrying bunch so when you go quiet here we will start looking for you to check that you're ok. We are here for the good and not so good times.

And for the record, your HRT progress is amazing. You look fantastic!! Sorry it is still a struggle with your mother. Keep doing whatever you need to do to be true to yourself.

Hugs,
Jayne

I'm here Sophie. Thank you for checking in on me. I have been working daylight to dark and have very little time is why I have not posted anything. I'm not going to lie and say everything is great when its not but, I will make it one day.
For the record because of a comment that was made in a PM, the problems I am having does not have one thing to do with my transition. The only problem I have there is my mother as you all know. Actually my progress with HRT is amazing. I never guessed at my age it would work as good as it has been. I will post as soon as I have something good to report. I love each and every one of you!

Hugs, 
            Chelsea

[Chelsea]

@Chelsea
Dear Chelsea: 
Yes indeed, all of your followers are quite happy now that you have "checked -in" and let us all know that you are alive and kicking.   

I am sorry that you have to work so hard but when one is in a hole one needs to stop digging and start climbing out... soon enough with your determination and willpower you will start seeing some daylight.

I am concerned to hear that you are still having problems with your mother....  keep being persistent and do what you have to do in that situation.

And, Chelsea, please know that your posts and comments are always welcome here on your thread and around the Forums, no matter if it is good news or bad news.   With the good news we will rejoice with you and with the not so good news we will support you with our thoughts, comments and lots and lots of HUGS.

Thanks again for posting again on your thread.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Besides my financial problem my mother is my biggest issue. The fights between me and her have gotten a lot worse in the last two months. I have started hanging out with my two nieces Joni and Beth and also I have a new girl in my life that I will tell you all about later. Around them I can be myself all the time. We have been to the park and a few places where im in public but not up close like in a store to let me get more comfortable. My mother sees how happy I am and its killing her.
 
  Last night she come to my room and said she thought she heard something outside and was worried. I jumped up to go see what it was and of course it was false. On the way back to my room she said I wish you would stay off the phone so I can sleep.  (I have been talking to a dear friend at night) This house is over a hundred feet long and there is no way she can hear me on the phone. It was just a reason to start a argument. After that she starts in on me about her car that I have been using for work. I bought this car for her a few years ago for her and paid it off myself and also she never goes anywhere. After that she says "you could help me sometimes too." I buy all the food, mow the grass, fix all the little issues with the house, work almost a hundred hours a week and still get this treatment.
   
I ask her if she would go to my therapist and let her explian whats going on with me and she said that I need a new doctor and thinks this is some kind of fetish. My sister said mom does this to try and get me to stop taking my medicine.  That will never happen and my sister knows it. When any of the family member come over mom completely changes like she don't have a worry in the world. After they leave shes back to treating me like a piece of trash. I cant leave because of I have no money to move and have all of my machines here on her property. Even if I could she would not live a month without me. I am stuck in prison.
   
There is my number one problem and I'm all ears if anyone sees a way out. Thanks to everyone for listening to me vent but this woman is impossible and only getting worse.

Hugs,
          Chelsea

[maybesoph]

Hi Chelsea,

Just so glad your ok, remember no matter how tough things are people always care x



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[Jayne01]

Hi Chelsea,

I am sorry you are feeling like you are in prison.

If I may offer my personal view of what is happening with your mother. I suspect she is going through a grieving process. When you came out to her, in her mind she heard that she has just lost her son. It is a common reaction from family. My wife had a similar reaction with losing her husband. It is a very real grief for them that requires them to go through the grieving process. There are several stages to a grieving process: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. People that are grieving will usually go through some or all of these stages and they could happen in any order.

It sounds like your mother is going through an anger stage and she is displaying all kinds of passive aggressive behaviour towards you. My wife did the same to me and it can be very hard to be at the receiving end of irrational anger towards you. I know it is very hard to do, but try not to engage in any arguments over seemingly trivial things. Stand your ground with things that you cannot compromise on, such as continuing to take your meds and following through with being Chelsea as much as you need to. With non trans issues, try to reach a compromise with your mother where you can even if you don't feel it is warranted. Remember her behaviour is a result of her grieving process.

My wife went through most of the grieving stages. She also had several major meltdowns along the way. She lost her husband. It's even worse than if I had died. With death there is closure, but with transition, the person they thought they knew has gone but you are still there as a constant reminder, so there is no real closure. Maybe she will come to terms with it all, maybe she won't. Only time will tell.

That is just my personal opinion and I could be way off the mark, so please use your own judgement.

Stay strong and keep posting here, even if it is to just vent your frustrations. This is a community of friends who understand what you are going through.

Hugs,
Jayne

Besides my financial problem my mother is my biggest issue. The fights between me and her have gotten a lot worse in the last two months. I have started hanging out with my two nieces Joni and Beth and also I have a new girl in my life that I will tell you all about later. Around them I can be myself all the time. We have been to the park and a few places where im in public but not up close like in a store to let me get more comfortable. My mother sees how happy I am and its killing her.
 
  Last night she come to my room and said she thought she heard something outside and was worried. I jumped up to go see what it was and of course it was false. On the way back to my room she said I wish you would stay off the phone so I can sleep.  (I have been talking to a dear friend at night) This house is over a hundred feet long and there is no way she can hear me on the phone. It was just a reason to start a argument. After that she starts in on me about her car that I have been using for work. I bought this car for her a few years ago for her and paid it off myself and also she never goes anywhere. After that she says "you could help me sometimes too." I buy all the food, mow the grass, fix all the little issues with the house, work almost a hundred hours a week and still get this treatment.
   
I ask her if she would go to my therapist and let her explian whats going on with me and she said that I need a new doctor and thinks this is some kind of fetish. My sister said mom does this to try and get me to stop taking my medicine.  That will never happen and my sister knows it. When any of the family member come over mom completely changes like she don't have a worry in the world. After they leave shes back to treating me like a piece of trash. I cant leave because of I have no money to move and have all of my machines here on her property. Even if I could she would not live a month without me. I am stuck in prison.
   
There is my number one problem and I'm all ears if anyone sees a way out. Thanks to everyone for listening to me vent but this woman is impossible and only getting worse.

Hugs,
          Chelsea

[Dena]

There are only three options that I can think of and none of them are good.

1. Do nothing and just stick out.

2. Start preparing for an escape. Set aside a small amount of money each paycheck for moving expenses. Also start looking for another location to move to.

3. Talk this option over with your therapist but it's confrontation. As she won't see your therapist, on her ground you need to personally or with a supportive group or with your therapist confront her directly. This approach is difficult because you need to come up with a response for every objection she raises so a knowledgable group or a professional is the only way to make it work.

Often we end up with a difficult decision like this and unfortunately there is no easy way out. I hope you find a way to address this.

[Chelsea]

I made some tiny baby steps last night. I know these are not going to seem like much to you girls but it was not easy for me. I have been hanging out with my two nieces Joni and Beth lately and have gotten really close to them. Last night Joni wanted to do my makeup. I made the small step to go through the drive trough and get us all food. Beth ordered so I didn't have to use my voice. After we get to the window I was shocked that nothing happened like I thought. No weird looks, no comments, nothing. I don't even think they could tell.
    With my confidence rising Beth said I got of too easy and that she needed to stop at pilot for something.(The pilot that I stop every day in and know everyone.) After we stopped I figured out what she was meaning about getting off to easy.
What did she do?? She goes in and outs me to Kelly and Megan that was working and told them Chelsea was outside. Of course they both come running out to the car to see me. Again I was extremely nervous but that quickly went away after they talked to me for a few minuets. I actually got out of the car this time and talked to them for a few minuets and it felt great. They both told me I was ready and could not tell besides my voice. As soon as I have the cash I will get back into voice therapy.
   Like I said its not a big deal for some but this is the hardest part for me is going out in public. I had a great time last night and just wanted to share it with all of you.    I got this!!

Hugs,
          Chelsea

[pamelatransuk]

Always uplifting to read a happy story from you, Chelsea. You are making progress and gaining confidence.

Good luck with resumption of the voice therapy.

Hugs

Pamela