For people who have been here a while...

[Denise]

I just celebrated my third year here a few months back.  I'm wondering if anyone has gone back to read their first posts here.

I intend to just to see how much stuff has changed.

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[jill610]

I'm afraid to see my first post 8 years later...!

[findingreason]

I just celebrated my third year here a few months back.  I'm wondering if anyone has gone back to read their first posts here.

I intend to just to see how much stuff has changed.

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I've been a member for over 10 years here. Making occasional visits over the years. Looking back at my first posts...I am amazed how far I have come. I have worked out so many problems (still have many to go though...), and have become reasonably comfortable in my skin and mind.

[Northern Star Girl]

I just celebrated my third year here a few months back.  I'm wondering if anyone has gone back to read their first posts here.

I intend to just to see how much stuff has changed.

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@Denise
Dear Denise:
No matter how long we have been here, what is worse that reading our first posts
might be viewing our first pictures that we may have posted!!!! 

Each of our transition journey's is definitely a "work in progress" ...

Hugs,
Danielle

[davina61]

2 years for me and yes life is a lot better.

[Devlyn]

I was a member for a couple weeks back in 2010 before I managed to fire off my first post (a regular post-and-dash). I included the second one for a better representation of me at the time.

Hi, I'm Tracey, I am here looking for answers to why I crossdress, MTF. I have read the site rules and TOS several times, I will behave myself and promise to be courteous to everyone. I can't post often, but I'm always reading the posts. Sincerely, Tracey

Wow, what a welcome wagon! Thanks to everyone who replied, and awwww,
Kate brought flowers! My name is Tracey and I'm an alcoholic......no
wait, wrong meeting! My story is a bit different, I am 49 and always
lived happily as a man except for one thing. I was constantly
misidentified as a woman. "Paper or plasic, miss?" or "I can take you
on aisle 5, ma'am" It drove me crazy. (I can hear all my crossdressing
sisters throwing their hands up in the air right now!) So last year
around this time I had this crazy idea that if I couldn't get the world
to see me as male, then maybe with a bit of effort I could tilt the
scales and really look female. So before you could say "Ebay" I had an
outfit at my door, from wig to shoes. I put it all on and wobbled to
the mirror in my first steps ever in high heels. I know that I looked
like a streetwalker, but to me I was staring into the eyes of a
complete stranger, a beautiful woman, and her eyes were saying "Yes,
it's me! I'm here!" Since then I try to be Tracey every weekend, even
if only for a few hours. I wish I had discovered her earlier in my life
but no matter, now we are together or one on this journey. Sorry I
rambled, sincerely, Tracey                           

P.S. I will be 25 years sober on March 4th, 2011

So where are we nine years later? I'm a post-orchi, nonbinary, trans woman. My presentation is strictly
female now. I've learned to accept and love myself, and have found love in my life. 

Great topic, Denise!

Hugs, Devlyn

[Devlyn]

@Denise
Dear Denise:
No matter how long we have been here, what is worse that reading our first posts
might be viewing our first pictures that we may have posted!!!! 

Each of our transition journey's is definitely a "work in progress" ...

Hugs,
Danielle

I'll play the photo game.     

My early crossdressing days. I still have the dress. 

[KathyLauren]

I have been here three and a half years.  Yes, I have been back to look at my first posts.  Reading them today, I get the impression that that person was a quivering mass of fear.  Fortunately, things have settled down a lot for me.

[Chloe]

        This place never ceases to AMAZE me. There have been 65,424 members registered here since I first logged in over 12 years ago! At one point I archived and deleted all posts due to divorce considerations yet remnants do remain but only in the form of other people "quoting" me.

One example is here. I've often wondered if *excess quotations* takes up extra space on Susan's server.

My original quote/post on my server/not here:
Quote from: Kate on 18 December 2006, 20:39:10

I used to think that there was NO way I could do this unless I passed unambiguously 100% of the time... but now I'm beginning to think that as long as *I* am happy with how I look, what people think just isn't as important as I once thought it'd be.

Ah, agreed, but the catch is we're are own worst critics and what people think certainly isn't important otherwise why would we do this at all?? If you were allowed to choose between a great body or a beautiful face which would it be?

(p.s. if you ever change your thoughtful muse's photo I want a copy first please!  Roll Eyes )

[Dena]

One example is here. I've often wondered if *excess quotations* takes up extra space on Susan's server.

My original quote/post on my server/not here:

Quoted text takes up additional space but most of the time it's not that much. On the other hand, the records you deleted are still in the deleted bin as the first record dates to Dec 3, 2005. We can paw through it and find specific records and Susan has the ability to link the records to an existing account. I have deleted only a few of the post I have made however other people removing their threads have reduced my post count by around 2,200 posts. Sometimes it seems like I am not getting anywhere when I post because my post count isn't going up very fast. 

[DawnOday]

Kathy, You and I are of a certain age and I can tell you that fear ruled my life for half a century. My first posts revealed the anger and confusion as to my marriage failure 40 years ago. Wen was my everything and I could not let it go. Coming out nearly three years ago has made life so much more enjoyable because I no longer have to hide my identity. I crossdressed because for most of my life the description of Transgender did not exist. Thanks to the internet I now understand the why and how.

[Denise]

I agree with all the quivering, confusion, and questioning responses.  Thank's to Susan and all the admins.  Without you I'm not sure where or if I'd be today.

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[Victoria L.]

I joined pretty much exactly 13 years ago while I was still in high school and very inexperienced in life. I've gone back and read my posts here and other places over the years and it is just painful for me. I was just so melodramatic. Since then I have experienced some serious hardships in other areas of my life. I still experience dysphoria and get really depressed about not being able to transition, but I express it a bit differently now.

Or that's what I want to say... You should have seen me this time last week. I got really dysphoric noticing my face, hair, and facial hair (which has become a hundred times more aggressive in recent years) showing signs of aging to a more irreversible masculine stage and throwing me into a real fit desperately looking for anything that could be done without completely crossing that 'transition' line that I can't cross because I don't want to lose my parents which I love dearly.

I went off-topic, sorry...

[Chloe]

I joined pretty much exactly 13 years ago . . . I was just so melodramatic . . . I can't cross because I don't want to lose my parents which I love dearly.

I went off-topic, sorry...

I've known for a while I'm a transgender person, but I've never really sought help on the matter.

~Victoria~ *sigh* that makes two of us but not because of my parents. Never noticed your posts before . . . almost as original as Susan Place's woodwork! Everything seems "off-topic" these days!

Dena found what I think is my very 1st deleted post: perhaps your confusing me with my former namesake spelled "Keira"?

[LizK]

I am coming up to 4 years in June since being an active member here. I spent quite a long time lurking and just reading...I thought I already had an account but could not for the life of me remember the username but then again it was during my drinking days so I could easily have been another forum LOL but here is one of my early ones

Just Turned 51 myself and after years of self abuse and neglect I took a huge leap of faith and have started the ball rolling for my own transition...I am transitioning away from where I am now to a better place and where that transition will finish I have not idea. Been in a relationship for 30 years and my wife, god bless her. is fully supportive. She still has a long way to go to be comfortable but we have both committed to each other again and are working through it.

.......

I have come a long way since then.

Liz

[Dena]

I didn't look for your deleted post before as there was no reason. As you made a follow up post about it, I looked and the second post you made on the site was deleted. I don't know if you removed it or if it was removed by somebody else.  There is a little clue. When I look at the post history link in your profile, I not only see what you see but I also see the deleted posts. It's sometimes handy when we are trying to figure out what happened in somebodies life or in an argument but normally there isn't much point in doing it. If you're looking for a deleted post, I would need to know the topic of the post or the date then it's simply a matter of looking for deleted post covering that topic pr on that date.

[Laurie]

What about retrieving posts  for someone that were deliberately deleted from the deleted file? (I do not believe that posts just magically disappear. I worked on PCs, servers and mainframes for over 40 years and know better)  Are those able to be retrieved?

[Dena]

What about retrieving posts  for someone that were deliberately deleted from the deleted file? (I do not believe that posts just magically disappear. I worked on PCs, servers and mainframes for over 40 years and know better)  Are those able to be retrieved?

Post in the deleted pile may only be removed by an Administrator. Sometimes is accidentally happens when two people handle the same thread without being aware of the others actions but there is a sticky in the deleted area to remind us to leave the contents alone. Because posting history is often critical to moderator actions, it's important that anything subject to review be preserved.

As for recovering it from a backup, that could be somewhat difficult because the data is held as part of a SQL data base. I don't know how those data bases are organized and what tools are available to extract the data from a backup so that question is best answered by somebody with more knowledge of the environment.

[Danielle Kristina]

I have been around for a little more than nine months now.  I remember very well my first post on Susan's.  I was so scared that I might be transgender and praying that I wasn't.  I still look at my early posts, particularly that first one, and wow!  What a difference that nine months has made!  I'm no longer scared that I MIGHT be transgender, because I know that I AM transgender.  Today I'm ok with that; during my first post I was not.  Today, I can't wait to advance to the next step of my transition, while back then I dreaded the thought as I beleived that my life as I knew it would be over.  I still have a long way to go, but I have also come a long way.


Danielle