Hi everyone. So living with 3 guys I've made a lot of observations about male thinking and behavior. So I decided to share them with you.
1. A promiscuous guy is a stud. A promiscuous woman is a slut.
2. When you're out with your boyfriend and you get mad when you notice another girl checking him out he smiles and says " she's just looking. What's the big deal?" But when he notices another guy checking you out that's messed up and he starts talking about knocking the guy crosseyed.
3. When you're shopping with a guy and you want to look at something you're wasting time and he asks why you can't ever just buy what you need and be done. But if he's looking at stuff and you complain he tells you to chill out and asks if you need to be somewhere or something.
4. A guy will do anything if another guy dares him no matter how stupid or dangerous it is. If he does get hurt doing it he will say " yeah, but I still did it". Yeah, I lost my arms and legs and went deaf and blind but I did the dare.
5. A guy will go to ridiculous lengths to avoid sitting close to another guy or accidently touching them. Apparently they are afraid accidental physical contact with another guy could cause them to turn gay.
6. Guys can't resist messing with another guy who's passed out. A guy who passes out around other guys can expect to get his head and eyebrows shaved, genitals drawn on his face or forehead, be stripped naked and left exposed in public and all manor of equally unpleasant things. And it's hilarious if you do that stuff to someone. But if you're the one who passed out then it's messed up and wrong.
7. If a guy sees another guy crying, not only will he not try to comfort him, he will quickly leave the area as if he might catch sensitivity from the guy.
8. Guys think it's hilarious to scare you with rubber roaches. But if they happen to be afraid of say spiders, and you do the same thing to them with a rubber spider, then it's messed up and you're a cruel monster. Just like having a guy scare you all the time is hilarious but when you do it to him it's messed up and totally not funny.
9. A guy will complain about how long it takes you to get ready and tell you you don't need all that make-up. Then if you don't have it on they will say " are you sick? You look awful".
10. In the rare event a guy does a little housework he not only expects you to notice it, he expects to be praised for it. You can spend all day cleaning the house and not only does he not notice, if you say you spent all day cleaning he says " oh, did you?". But if you don't clean the house he will ask why "this place is such a mess".
11. If a guy doesn't know how to use something, instead of asking someone who does know he just says the item he's having trouble with is " designed stupidly" and he just doesn't bother trying anymore. But if you don't know how to do something it's to be expected since you're just a dumb girl after all.
12. If a guy can't assemble something it's always because the instructions are wrong or unclear or they didn't include all the pieces.
13. A guy will blab nonstop and try to get your attention while you're watching something. But you risk death if say one word to him while he's watching football.
14. Sports and action movies are cool and good entertainment. Shows women like are dumb and sappy.
15. Guys can only identify the basic colors, red, blue, etc. If you say crimson or aubergine their eyes go blank and glassy.
16. If a guy knows or finds out you're ticklish they can't help themselves. You're doomed. But if you tickle them you're being mean.
17. If a guy finishes leftovers he will leave a microscopic amount in the container to avoid having to wash it. My brother is famous for that. I've found containers in the refrigerator with one kernel of corn, one baked bean, one strand of spaghetti, etc.
18. It's a guy rule that as long as no trash falls on the floor then he doesn't have to take it out. I've seen my brother place something on top of an already full trashcan with the skill of an explosives expert just so he won't have to empty it.
19. When a guy tries on an article of clothing, even if he only had it on for 2 seconds, he will throw it in the dirty clothes instead of hanging it back up.
20. To avoid having to wash something a guy will throw a dirty article of clothing in the dryer with a fabric softener sheet rather than wash it.
21. If a guy spills something on the kitchen floor he will kick it all under the stove rather than get the broom. He will also kick stuff he's spilled under the sofa if he can rather than get the vacuum cleaner. I've found all kinds of stuff under both the stove and sofa.
22. Always check your oven before turning it on. When a guy cleans up the kitchen he will stuff anything that can't go in the dishwasher into the oven rather than washing it. Should you turn on the oven and burn something up, he will tell you it's your fault because you should have looked in there before turning it on.
23. And lastly, if a guy is in the mood for sex then everything else becomes totally unimportant. " you can watch TV anytime". " you can give that old man cpr anytime". " I know the missiles are on their way but we can have a quick one before we head for the shelter".
