When I started HRT, I took my E orally. I did this for about six weeks; and, when I didn't detect any changes – physical or psychological – I switched to sublingual administration, and experienced my first physical response to E within 24 hours. So, I continued taking my E sublingually.
About five months after starting HRT, I saw an endocrinologist for the first time. I got tested; and, while my T was great (almost non-existent), my E was very low. The endo scheduled me for another appointment three months out, and advised new tests for E: two hours and six hours after dosing.
The results of the tests were dramatic. Two hours after my dose, my E was over 400. Six hours after my dose, it was in the 70s.
When I went back, he advised me to begin taking my E orally again. I was astonished, and I told him so. I said, It's your field, and I have to trust you; but this contradicts everything I've read about taking E. He just smiled. He thinks that oral administration might result in a more steady level of E in my blood. My feminization had basically stalled, and it concerned me.
I did as instructed; and, son of a gun, I think my breasts are growing again. Not only that, for the last two days something within me has been looking for an excuse to cry. As I was driving home from work yesterday, I was moved to tears twice, by two completely unrelated thoughts. And today, while at the grocery store – again, after work – the song on the Muzak made me want to cry. It has to be the E.
Oh, girls, this roller coaster is like no other. I decided that today I would veg out; it's Sunday, and I planned to watch Hallmark Channel movies and eat popcorn (a no-no); and I found myself so jealous of the lead in the first film. So cute; I wanted to look like her.

Isn't life crazy? You have to believe there's purpose and sense to it. There's a reason for us. I can't imagine what it is.
When I was 12 years old, I thought I was going crazy. My parents fought constantly; and for most of my life I thought that the reason I thought I was going crazy was that I was internalizing their conflict. After all, children do tend to think
themselves the reason for the unpleasantnesses around them.
My parents took me seriously enough that they sent me to a child psychiatrist. I saw Dr. Simmons for the summer, then stopped. Apparently, the crisis had passed.
I didn't realize I was trans until I was nearly 60. I think there's a decent chance that the reason I thought I was going crazy was that I was entering puberty, my body was being flooded with T and my brain was freaking out. I wonder what my life would have been like, had the truth been known then. Could have been better; could have been worse.
I'm grateful to know now. That's what matters.