Confusion on acceptance vs. approval

[Jailyn]

My therapist has me doing homework . I have been thinking on that I told her I would work on acceptance. She turned it around with acceptance of myself. Rather than acceptance from others. Well thinking on this I think we (myself included) confuse acceptance and approval. I apply this mostly to family or those we are close too. We aren't looking for the their acceptance of who we are or come out as but, we are looking for their approval. The line between these two concepts is very fine. There is a difference. In my case mine are accepting but, not really approving. I don't need them to approve though I have realized. This is who I am and it's not changing. It is complicated and then if you throw in "passing" in real life then that is a whole other level. She also wants a time line for letters and when I want to do surgeries . Which I want to do them NOW, but money may be prohibitive, hehe. Money tree where are you? lol. I am also thinking on what happiness means to me.....hmmmm. My therapist threw me some good ones. Just a few thoughts for you. P.S. I am back it's been a crazy few months away in real life.

[JoniComeLately]

My therapist gives me homework too, and is surprised that I actually do it! And believe it or not, we were talking about acceptance tonight. I was telling her that while passing was important to me, it was more important that I be accepted as a woman. She asked me what I thought the difference was, and I told her regardless of how far I can go in feminizing my appearance, I wanted others to recognize the spirit of the woman I am.

This is a bit different than what you are talking about, but I think in either case acceptance is the best we can hope for. Approval (in your case), or passing (in my case), are icing on the cake. My family will never approve of what I'm doing, but if they accept me I will be satisfied.


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[Lady Sarah]

The only person that you need approval from, is YOU!

The last psychologist that gave me homework suggested that I find somewhere to volunteer daily. She got upset when I told her I can't afford the gas to drive 90 miles a day without pay. Plus, there's the fact that doing so would adversely effect my disability pay to the extent that I would not be able to pay bills or buy enough food to eat. She did not want to see me after that. That's OK. If she did not care about my well being, I didn't need to waste time or money seeing her.

[Allison S]

The only person that you need approval from, is YOU!

The last psychologist that gave me homework suggested that I find somewhere to volunteer daily. She got upset when I told her I can't afford the gas to drive 90 miles a day without pay. Plus, there's the fact that doing so would adversely effect my disability pay to the extent that I would not be able to pay bills or buy enough food to eat. She did not want to see me after that. That's OK. If she did not care about my well being, I didn't need to waste time or money seeing her.

What?! Why would she not see you for that? Wow

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[Lady Sarah]

What?! Why would she not see you for that? Wow

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Some folks around here are fine seeing me as a woman. However, when someone finds out I'm trans, suddenly, they ain't cool with me. Is it any wonder I won't announce it or fly the trans flag? That's rural Texas for ya.