Do you pass or not?

[Allison S]

Adding a small update, almost 10 months hrt...
I get sir/he from young women who are probably immigrants or non western culture. They're not rude, I get clocked all the time lol but guys have gendered me female even with minimal effort to wear makeup or do my hair. I panic internally when a random guy comes onto me while I'm alone.
I think waiting has been a very huge struggle for me... I can get hair extensions but I feel like my face is still andro. I don't want to be andro with long hair.
I guess I'm a bit uptight with my fashion choices, I don't even like any wigs I get. But I don't like my natural hair either yet because it's not long enough lol
I feel a lot of resentment that I have to go through all this. I'm not generally an entitled person, but I just feel very vulnerable right now

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[Drexy/Drex]

From your avatar  I think you are doing  very well.... I know how you feel about wigs... I'm the same.... And though
I haven't  had any guys come onto me... I have the odd guy who seems to close and creepy
but then with my size..... and dress code..... It nullifies them
One day when I am as brave as you I will go out as me😉

[big kim]

Thanks Mary T & Charlie Nicki

[Charlie Nicki]

Adding a small update, almost 10 months hrt...
I get sir/he from young women who are probably immigrants or non western culture. They're not rude, I get clocked all the time lol but guys have gendered me female even with minimal effort to wear makeup or do my hair. I panic internally when a random guy comes onto me while I'm alone.
I think waiting has been a very huge struggle for me... I can get hair extensions but I feel like my face is still andro. I don't want to be andro with long hair.
I guess I'm a bit uptight with my fashion choices, I don't even like any wigs I get. But I don't like my natural hair either yet because it's not long enough lol
I feel a lot of resentment that I have to go through all this. I'm not generally an entitled person, but I just feel very vulnerable right now

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I love you girl!

[Allison S]

I love you girl!

Love you too [emoji173] I gotta tell u something that just happened lol

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[Julie -2010]

I guess I'm a bit uptight with my fashion choices, I don't even like any wigs I get. But I don't like my natural hair either yet because it's not long enough lol
I feel a lot of resentment that I have to go through all this. I'm not generally an entitled person, but I just feel very vulnerable right now

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Allison,

I'm trying to grow my hair out but I don't like it.  The wigs I have I like pretty well but in certain situations it would be nice to not have to wear it.  I'm not fully transitioned so I still trying to balance.  I've been on HRT almost 18 months and I wish I was more androgynous without makeup.  Plus I wish my breast were a bigger.  Oh well...

Julie

[Donna]

Give it time girl. One never know how long any changes will take

[Sarah1979]

Visually, never, but I get called ma'am petty much every time when it's by voice alone.
Actually, I need to modify that, I can't pass visually now at(hopefully) the end of my hormonal interregnum.  When I had to stop, I was just getting to the point that I could pass sometimes. (Visually)

[Drexy/Drex]

Not 😑 but then again my heavy metal dress code  and height prob detracts from female

[emma-f]

Well, I thought I did but having a crisis of confidence now. I live full time and have never been misgendered, even on the phone.

Then, out last night with a group a drunk friend said to someone who had never met me before "We have a really mixed group here, gays, lesbians, even one transgender" to which said stranger said "I know, Emma". Which now has me wondering if its just a case that everyone has been so accepting rather than me passing.

Em x

[Harley Quinn]

Well, I thought I did but having a crisis of confidence now. I live full time and have never been misgendered, even on the phone.

Then, out last night with a group a drunk friend said to someone who had never met me before "We have a really mixed group here, gays, lesbians, even one transgender" to which said stranger said "I know, Emma". Which now has me wondering if its just a case that everyone has been so accepting rather than me passing.

Em x

I would think that is was more process of elimination than a statement of identification.  The gay-dar might have been strong with that one...  In which case, probably a guess based on you not coming off as "lesbian".  I would be more concerned with a friend who knew that you didn't wish to be identified at Trans, and eluded to it in a drunken moment of word vomit.

[Donica]

I would think that is was more process of elimination than a statement of identification.  The gay-dar might have been strong with that one...  In which case, probably a guess based on you not coming off as "lesbian".  I would be more concerned with a friend who knew that you didn't wish to be identified at Trans, and eluded to it in a drunken moment of word vomit.

Oh Harley! Such wonderful advice. I'll have to remember that. (a drunken moment of word vomit.) LMAO. Greate stuff! On pun intended.

Hugs,
Donica.

[AnamethatstartswithE]

For me I'm in a weird binary situation. If I have my hair down and am using a purse I get ma'amed, if I tie it back and use my phone wallet I get sired. I tend to dress fairly girlily during the week, so everyone seems to treat me as such. I do still get more of the subtle things though. A few weeks ago I was in an airport, I had my hair in a pony tail, but a random woman sat right next to me in the waiting area. That never happened when I was a guy. So for me the answer is for the most part, but the illusion can be easily punctured.

[Sonja]

I would think that is was more process of elimination than a statement of identification.  The gay-dar might have been strong with that one...  In which case, probably a guess based on you not coming off as "lesbian".  I would be more concerned with a friend who knew that you didn't wish to be identified at Trans, and eluded to it in a drunken moment of word vomit.

@emma-f
Harleys comments above is exactly what I was thinking too, process of elimination.
also Happy Birthday Emma!! 

Hope you have a great day!!

Sonja XO

[emma-f]

@emma-f
Harleys comments above is exactly what I was thinking too, process of elimination.
also Happy Birthday Emma!! 

Hope you have a great day!!

Sonja XO

Thank you for the birthday wishes Sonja.

And Harley I am 100% sure you are right. He's a lovely guy but such loose lips when drunk!

[roseyfox]

I pass in every aspect. What I never got is why so many trans girl use there guy voice. It usually the biggest give away. It took me a month of self teaching to be proficient at speaking just like every other girl and even then I have about 3 ranges of girl voice I can use. Good example think of my Little pony I can proficiently sound like apple Jack more masculine but still femine country girl. Flutter shy timid low and high and rainbow dash femine in nature but use a more gender neutral way of speaking. in any of these voice I pass as female no problem.

[Maid Marion]

The little things also make a difference.  I shower every night and take very good care of my hands.  Even though I work nearly every day the yard, tending my garden, my nails look amazing!

[Allison S]

I don't think with females I tend to pass at all but I noticed I've been getting male attention... I think I'm still in a stage that I want to wear short dresses. As it gets colder her I'll have to adjust... Maybe I'll grow out of it but I just think it's fun. I helps me feel good about myself and my body. Mostly because it balances my top heavy body shape. Although I could show some cleavage, I don't think I'm ready for that quite yet... I hope by next summer I will be ready.

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[emma-f]

I only transitioned two months ago, and I had a 3 hour conference with someone last week. Apparently she had no idea I was trans, looks, voice, mannerisms. Until she saw my shoes and realised my past because I had big feet and it all then slotted together. Feel a touch insulted as my feet aren't even big for a girl of 5 foot 7 (UK size 7-8) but I'm told that was the straw that broke the camels back as it were.

Seems to me that passing is not a "one thing" thing but rather holistic. There may be a few tiny little things that add up to a giveaway. I'm sure she wouldn't normally look at someone with size 7-8 shoes and think of them as trans, but add in the other little clues, a face that has a few masculine traits being pre-FFS, a voice perhaps a touch deeper than normal, or without the correct inflection, and suddenly the alarm rings.

Obviously there are a few "one thing"s that are an automatic giveaway of gender, a beard for example, but for most other things, height, broadness, voice, feet, shape, mannerisms etc, its more part of an overall parcel. Deal with as many as you have control over and don't worry about the ones you can do nothing about.

My thoughts on it anyway

Em

[Devlyn]

I pass in every aspect. What I never got is why so many trans girl use there guy voice. It usually the biggest give away. It took me a month of self teaching to be proficient at speaking just like every other girl and even then I have about 3 ranges of girl voice I can use. Good example think of my Little pony I can proficiently sound like apple Jack more masculine but still femine country girl. Flutter shy timid low and high and rainbow dash femine in nature but use a more gender neutral way of speaking. in any of these voice I pass as female no problem.

I can answer that. Because it's my voice, and I have no desire to change it. Not every trans girl identifies as a femme girl. It's very important that we all understand our situation is not everyone else's situation. 

Hugs, Devlyn