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Started by Priya, March 04, 2018, 01:10:54 PM
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Quote from: NatalieRene on January 02, 2019, 10:52:35 AMOh yeah the token trans friend and getting outted is the worst.It still ticks me off that my sister and my mom outted me to my sisters in laws. Why did they need to know? This is the same sister that had my little sister in the bridal party but excluded me. Next year for Christmas I am looking forward to looking better then her for the dinner party and church.
Quote from: NatalieRene on January 02, 2019, 10:52:35 AMOh yeah the token trans friend and getting outted is the worst.
Quote from: Michelle_P on January 02, 2019, 12:51:35 PMOuch! Yeah.I had an acquaintance who invited me to lunch. When I arrived there was another woman present, and I was introduced as "My transgender friend, Michelle."Lovely.Disclosure without my permission, and dropped into the category of transgender friend... how very special! I walked out, and later sent an e-mail to detail why this was incredibly inappropriate, tone-deaf behavior.
Quote from: Dietlind on January 03, 2019, 10:56:59 PMWas out to eat at a nice beach side restaurant tonight, to watch the sun set over the Gulf. Both, the host and the waitress said ladies to us without hesitation, and served my foot with a excuse me ma'm, to reach around me!I think I passed tonight without any problem!
Quote from: Devlyn on January 04, 2019, 01:33:50 AMDonner party, your table is ready!
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on January 04, 2019, 08:31:37 AMCool time!Eat until the guests are gone!
Quote from: Beverly Anne on January 02, 2019, 10:26:55 AMAnd, have any of you ever experienced that person you thought was a true friend, only to realize you were their token trans friend to make them feel cool? I have. That's a kick in the head.
Quote from: Dietlind on January 04, 2019, 09:07:40 AMYup! Some of them were a little tough, but the knifes were pretty sharp, so it worked!
Quote from: BrianaJ on January 04, 2019, 09:06:22 AMThis! I never thought about it till it happened to me. At my last position, I became "friends" with two of my supervisors that reported to me. I saw myself as an older mentor or coach to help them move towards manager positions. We seemed to really all click. I'd occasionally go out with my team after work to socialize and to seem "human". On one particular occasion, it was just the 3 of us and two of their girlfriends joined us. When the one introduced me, she said, "this is my transgender friend...and boss Briana." One of her girlfriends does the "OMG this is the >-bleeped-< at work you're always talking about??." Just like I wasn't there. Then she turns to me and says, "sorry...I'm not sure what to call you guys." Needless to say, I didn't hang around. And neither did the two that worked for me. <wink>
Quote from: Anne Blake on January 05, 2019, 09:56:12 AMbut it makes me aware that I appreciate time with our queer community so much more than with many of the cis world that should know better.Tia Anne
Quote from: Priya on March 04, 2018, 01:10:54 PM . . . curious to hear your passing stories
Quote from: Dietlind on January 05, 2019, 10:48:06 AMyou are lucky that you have access to such a community. Many of us are "lone fighters" in a sea of homophobics (like I was informed yesterday that no urologist in SW Florida would do an orchiectomy for transgender reasons only), and have no groups we can hang out with. I am lucky that my therapist has organized a group of trans people to meet at least once a month (today is a meeting, and I am looking forward to it), but one cannot call that hanging out with a group.I am lucky, all my friends are cis, and everybody is really supporting me very well, and a close circle tries to understand what being trans means.
Quote from: KatieP on December 28, 2018, 12:52:44 AMDoes it really matter?So, I just got back from working 15 days in Buenos Aires, and in those 15 days I was not misgendered one single time by ANY Argentinian. Not waiters, not hotel staff, not taxis, and not customers. Madam/she/her 100% of the time. Even in the bathrooms, other women were chatty and pleasant. The entire population was absolutely spectacular regarding my gender and treating me exactly like any other woman there.I didn't think I passed that well, and so THAT is what made me wonder if I was actually passing or if the entire Argentine nation is positive and respectful to transgender people.Actually, I still don't know which option explains my experience. But I am very much looking forward to going back in January, and knowing that I will have fewer issues there than I would if I traveled to Texas...Kate
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 05, 2019, 11:26:08 AMLinde,By attending the transfeminine group today, you may meet people whom you may wish to socialize with on other days. Good luck.Chrissy