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Dating trans girls vs cis girls.

Started by AquaWhatever, March 08, 2018, 06:27:33 PM

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AquaWhatever

Trans women are open to posting their experiences with cis men and trans men as well!


I'm just curious as to what you guys think.

Have you noticed a difference in dating trans women vs cis women?
And if so what's the difference? And vice versa for trans women.

I recently decided I mostly want to date trans girls.
(That doesn't mean I am completely closed off from cis women)

I think I would rather be with someone who understands my identity
And basically the opposite of me almost in terms of our biological parts.

I have never had anything serious with a trans girl.
The ones I do know seem very chill or they're one of the guys.

Do you think because we were all once the other gender we just get it?
Or we understand both sexes to a extent?

What do you guys think?
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PurpleWolf

Very interesting topic! I'm interested in this myself.
Never had experience with a trans girl... but I'd assume that two trans people dating must really get what the other one is going through. And yes I do think trans people in general understand both sexes to an extent. Just bcos of all the ->-bleeped-<- we've been through. At least for me I've become very sensitive to injustice and sexism in general. Having felt prejudice, exclusion, social isolation, sexism, pressure to be something you're not, pressure to conform etc. etc. you don't necessarily wanna treat other people like that...! I wouldn't push gender roles on children, I would never think 'girls can't do something' or 'boys can't be like that' etc.

Though really understanding the other sex thoroughly because you were forced to be that - don't think so. I still get guys more than girls in general. Just bcos the society tried to pressure me into being something I'm not doesn't make me understand that any better.

And as for dating... I'm in a beautiful, lifelong relationship with a cis woman. She has always supported me 10000000% and there has never been things between us she wouldn't 'get' bcos I'm trans! She's a person - I'm a person - we are a couple... It doesn't matter if I'm trans! If she were trans too (and had a dick for example) it wouldn't change anything. I don't think trans women are any different to cis counterparts and vice versa. It's all about the people in it.

I'm interested to know what you think trans women can offer you that cis women cannot? Thinking about sex the first thing to come to my mind is that many trans women hate their genitals and don't like having sex before SRS...

Plus generally speaking two trans people in a relationship might be double trouble/dysphoria. Though there are many trans couples. I really don't think it matters if someone is trans or not! It's all about the chemistry.

And as for understanding identity - as a pre-everything (and being like that forever!!!) I can totally say my spouse understands my identity  ;D! And always has, so...! If she didn't, we wouldn't be a couple. Just saying that cis people can be exactly as accepting/understanding as trans people  :). Again - chemistry! And I don't definitely view myself as somehow 'flawed' bcos of being trans! It's not my fault I was born this way - and I don't need to be pitied bcos of it. Or treated any different than any other guy. We are a couple because we love each other and get perfectly along. Gender does not play a part.

She's also completely straight  ;D!!! And still she's with me bcos she just sees me as a guy, so. 
!!!REBIRTH=legal name change on Feb 16th 2018!!!
This is where life begins for me. It's a miracle I finally got it done.


My body is the home of my soul; not the other way around.

I'm more than anything an individual; I'm too complex to be put in any box.

- A social butterfly not living in social isolation anymore  ;D -
(Highly approachable but difficult to grasp)


The past is overrated - why stick with it when you are able to recreate yourself every day
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CMD042414

Interesting question. I don't know how many ftm replies you'll get because it seems that the majority of them on these boards date men. But I hope you do get feedback.

I have not dated a trans woman. I tend to be attracted exclusively to cis women. This does not mean I am opposed to a trans woman. Sex would be difficult for me if she were pre-op as genitals are important for me. I can imagine the ability to understand wholly what I go through would be profound and comforting in many ways. I may not feel as much pressure to "measure up" to cis guys. Though that is generally self inflicted I find. I think the issue for me is, as I go deeper into my transition I feel less "trans". Once phallo is complete I will finally feel like I am in a state of simply being and not doing anymore. As a result dating a trans woman could make this difficult as it may continually remind me. Like something I cannot escape. I am open about who I am in every aspect of my life so this is not shame I am speaking of at all. I am not stealth. I just don't want to always have to feel like the trans guy. So dating cis women helps with that.
Started T: April 2014
Top Surgery: June 2014
Hysterectomy: August 2015
Phalloplasty: Stage 1-August 2018
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November Fox

I would date a trans girl. It wouldn't really matter, cis or not.
However there are many cis girls and not that many trans girls. And, adding to what CMD said, a lot of them (at least locally) seem to be lesbians.

So unless you got to know her online, I don't know how you'd find one another.
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Megan.

In my life I've dated one cis-female (when I still presented male), and now a gorgeous transwoman.
I think the dating has far more to do with the individuals and their personalities, rather than their gender identity.

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

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Devlyn

I'm dating the transwoman that just posted. Thanks for the compliment, beautiful!   ;D

I think it makes a good relationship because we are in tune with each other's feelings. We understand what the other is facing. I can slay her dragons, and she slays mine.

Hugs, Devlyn
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Megan.

<adds Dragonslayer to resume> [emoji5]

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

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Charlie Nicki

Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.
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Devlyn

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sarah1972

Aww! Congratulations! You make a cute couple :-)

Hugs

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 11, 2018, 08:16:05 AM
I'm dating the transwoman that just posted. Thanks for the compliment, beautiful!   ;D

I think it makes a good relationship because we are in tune with each other's feelings. We understand what the other is facing. I can slay her dragons, and she slays mine.

Hugs, Devlyn

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Cassi

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 11, 2018, 08:16:05 AM
I'm dating the transwoman that just posted. Thanks for the compliment, beautiful!   ;D

I think it makes a good relationship because we are in tune with each other's feelings. We understand what the other is facing. I can slay her dragons, and she slays mine.

Hugs, Devlyn

So, Megan, is the one who got you all those roses???????
HRT since 1/04/2018
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Devlyn

Quote from: Cassi on March 12, 2018, 11:40:48 AM
So, Megan, is the one who got you all those roses???????

Yes, she was.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn
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Cassi

HRT since 1/04/2018
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Cassi

Quote from: Megan. on March 11, 2018, 05:00:32 AM
In my life I've dated one cis-female (when I still presented male), and now a gorgeous transwoman.
I think the dating has far more to do with the individuals and their personalities, rather than their gender identity.

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

I agree on your comment about individuals & their personalities.  When I was being evaluated the shrink also said that there was a big difference between gender and sexuality.  Cool on you two!  I can now say the Devyln made you do it :)
HRT since 1/04/2018
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sarah1972

Not sure. I think she is secretly one of the princesses and lives in one of those fancy castles in the British countryside. Your Royal Highness Lady Megan. Apparently it is in for Americans to date British Royalty these days :D

Quote from: Cassi on March 12, 2018, 11:55:00 AM
You do know she works for MI-5, right?

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Cassi

Quote from: sarah1972 on March 12, 2018, 12:01:10 PM
Not sure. I think she is secretly one of the princesses and lives in one of those fancy castles in the British countryside. Your Royal Highness Lady Megan. Apparently it is in for Americans to date British Royalty these days :D

Surprisenly, I found out that I had "English" blood in me a few months back when I had for 63 years believed it was german and native american. 

Winston Churchhill was bi; british/american, lol.
HRT since 1/04/2018
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Megan.

Quote from: Cassi on March 12, 2018, 11:55:00 AM
You do know she works for MI-5, right?
Shhhhh, Devlyn has yet to find the fake rose with the mic and camera.

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

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Cassi

Quote from: Megan. on March 12, 2018, 12:05:16 PM
Shhhhh, Devlyn has yet to find the fake rose with the mic and camera.

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

OMG, I'm sooo sorry.
HRT since 1/04/2018
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Devlyn

Quote from: Megan. on March 12, 2018, 12:05:16 PM
Shhhhh, Devlyn has yet to find the fake rose with the mic and camera.



Wait, what?  :laugh:
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Cassi

HRT since 1/04/2018
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