Hi, Marcie.
I have been on HRT for 13 months, full-time for 10 months.
I don't get noticeable mood swings; I tend to stay on an even keel. But I sure notice that I feel emotions much more strongly than I ever did before. Lots of posts here, news stories, or emails will send me into tears, either of joy or sadness. I always did cry at movies, but I felt that I had to suppress that in guy mode. Now, I don't even try. I just get out my hankie and dab my eyes.
I get giddy with happiness sometimes, just from the sheer joy of being myself. I never in my life felt joy before transitioning. I didn't even know what it felt like when other people talked about it.
I found myself doing a damsel in distress number today, going into the bank to deposit a cheque made out to my deadname. It wasn't an act. I didn't even think about it. It was how I felt, and I let myself be governed by how I felt. Which is a concept that would have been totally foreign to my old self.
I suppose that this is how teenage girls feel. I don't know, never having been a teenage girl. I was a pretty darned serious teenage boy, so I definitely prefer this puberty.
The body changes are nice. I'd be happier if my boobs would grow more/faster, but I can't complain. They're cute. My face has feminized nicely. I'll catch an unexpected reflection in a window and realize that I look like a girl. Maybe not the prettiest girl in the gaggle, but I'm good with it.
The hips and thighs are subtle, really subtle, but definitely different. Body hair, what little I had, is gone, with no laser or electro required.
I understand the impatience. I felt it too. Although I went full-time just about when I had originally planned to, that date became much less of an option the closer I got to it. It wasn't just impending male-fail, either. I just could not tolerate pretending to be a guy any longer.
I had planned to do some therapy sessions to deal with my remaining fears about going fuill-time. But when I realized that doing those sessions would push the date back, my immediate reaction was, "Hell, no!" Nothing was going to make me delay that event by so much as a single day, and the fears just disappeared.
So sit back and enjoy the ride!
