I've seen people with dementia and honestly have no idea what it must be like. Some of them look completely lost and hopeless, others just seem like they inhabit different frames of mind and personality from one moment to the next. I can't say if it's horrible or not for some of them. But I wouldn't want to get it.
If I did get it... I don't know if the gender thing would bother me as I've never identified myself as female in the first place. Maybe some memories of feeling lousy and freakish would come back, but they've never been excruciating as such, or totally disorienting. Unlike some, I've never been as driven as far as suicide or major depression due to the issue of gender, and those early memories are more neutral or "absent" of gender than gendered and distressing. I'd probably suffer from remembering other traumatic events instead, I guess. There are plenty of those in the memory banks.
I can possibly imagine what it might be like because when I wake up from a very deep sleep, for a second I sometimes have no idea who or where I am. I don't know if anyone else gets that, but I do occasionally. It takes a moment for my brain to access the hard disk or something. Maybe it's like an extended version of that. Whether it would be terrifying I don't know... I've never been too bothered about it when it happens. Sometimes it's the result of a vivid dream where I'm someone else, and I have to "recall" who I am on waking up. Sometimes it just seems like waking up and feeling first blank consciousness, before self.
Dementia's just a tragic condition for both the patient and the people who care for the patient, who are often trying their best to do what makes the person happy, but it's all too erratic for them to satisfy. I guess I just hope we figure out better ways to stave it off or prevent it in future. Eat right, stay active/keep your circulation healthy, exercise/challenge your brain rather than sit in front of the TV etc.
Blueberries contain a chemical that helps in generating new brain cells. I've been eating them regularly for several months and quite honestly my post-hypothyroid memory lapse issues have vanished.
As for the issue of care, I'm not sure I could live with it. The idea of being dependent physically on someone else is one I don't want to face but I know it's potentially there. I know people - like family members - will look after others out of obligation but some of them secretly hate every second of it, and I wouldn't want that. Like the idea of having a stroke and being part crippled by it, as well. Other family members have suffered strokes and I sure hope that doesn't happen to me. They've personally cared for relatives with dementia, but I know they didn't really want to. The idea of (infirm) old age in general isn't something I see as all that compatible with my lifestyle and way I am. I'd probably not want to stick around if I felt my mind and independence going, but that's just me.
The topic of failing health has been on my mind lately, not because mine has been failing (it's been on the up) but because others around me have been dropping like flies, or getting seriously ill once they hit 65 ish. Some of them have been health freaks too, while I know chain smokers and winos and ex-druggies who are doing well. It seems random who gets struck down and who doesn't. I suppose it's not worth worrying that much about in that case.
