Where to begin?
Yesterday, before we could head back home, my wife, her niece and I sat down at the table. We were about to transfer title to our van to her, a gift. Before we began to process the title, I needed to clue her in about the name on it. I did not want to get into a public situation and have her be taken by surprise and then go ballistic. So, I handed her the title and asked her to look at the name of the owner, my name. Our expectations were extremely low. The niece has often expressed disparaging views of black, Mexicans, gays, man-buns. But we needed to let her know what was going on. We were flabbergasted by her response. After answering her query as to what that meant she was 100% accepting. She has insisted that I never again compromise my presentation around her. She is worried that she will offend by letting habit cause her to use the wrong name or pronoun. Incredible!
Two of my wife's other nieces have reached out to express their unequivocal acceptance and love for both of us. My wife's family has been, so far, ultra supportive.
On my side, it is a mixed bag. Our daughter is still struggling in spite of her liberal bent. Just too close to home for comfort. My youngest brother is OK as long as he doesn't actually have to deal with me in person. Sort of "Do whatever you want. Just don't ask me to be involved." My youngest sister is in a better place than my brother. She disagrees with what I have decided to do but she will try to work with it for my sake. My oldest sister decided she needed to give me her opinion and advice which I specifically told her I was not asking for. I replied to let her know I got her response and would follow up with a more complete reply. Every time I try to put my thoughts down I get more and more angry with her. Almost every word of her response is wrong in some way or another. Inaccurate, dismissive, disrespectful or self-righteous.
Two sisters have not replied in any way, whatsoever, as yet.
On the positive side, my second oldest sister and her husband and my younger brother's wife are supportive.
We got home from Atlanta this evening and swung by the post office to pick up the mail. In it were a couple of cards from UU members expressing support for me specifically in regard to my coming out to my family. There was a beautiful letter from one of my wife's nieces expressing full support for both of us.
Then there was the card from my older brother. He is a word economist. After stating my letter was hard to read (because of the content), he wrote "I'm OK with it." Related how he questioned, from a early age, why people do such terrible things to other (kinds of) people. I was now "an other kind of people" person. He assured me that he will not abandon me. Commanded me to "Be careful." with a reminder that North Carolina is not the most liberal state in the U.S. Invited me to call if I need to talk. Sent his love to me and my wife. Brief and perfect. One more solidly in the supportive column.
The saga continues....
Stevi
