Not sure what I am

[jameswhiteshine]

Hi Everyone,
        I have been questioning myself since I was 9 or 10 and also been cross dressing in private for quite some time. I was assigned male at birth and I'm not sexually attracted to anyone. I am really tall @ 6 ft 2 inches and I recently turned 21. I feel like I look like a fully grown man and sound like a middle aged guy. I don't see a point in trying to deny what I am biologically yet I can't also deny the fact that I'm nothing like my peers and my mental image doesn't meet up with who I am physically. I don't know the solution and have always wanted to get killed and put an end to this misery. I just can't accept who I am. What should I do?

[Jessica]

Hi Jameswhiteshine! Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica.  I would suggest seeking out help from a gender therapist.  Their training can be invaluable to finding out the real you.  I do understand not feeling inline with your peers, I didn't either.  So I sought out help and found the path I needed to take.  Susan's Place has been a wealth of knowledge from all the members experiences.
I hope you will see that your life is worthy and precious and we do care about you.  If there is a crisis center or lgbtq group locally that can help you when you are despondent, they could be a big help too.
I see your new here, so I'll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site. Then join in on a topic you find interesting and learn and share.

Please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum to tell the members about yourself!

If you are one of our younger members, feel free to stop by the Youth Introductions Forum to tell the members about yourself!

Things that you should read

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[jameswhiteshine]

Thanks for the response, Jessica. I do feel low but I won't take my life as it's against my principles. I'm trying my best to lead a normal life but it's been a hell for quite some time. I said I want to get killed, I don't wanna commit a moral crime by killing myself. Yes, I'm pretty new to these forums. I just want to know that I'm not alone.

[Devlyn]

Hi James, welcome to Susan's Place! Having people understand that they're not alone is our #1 claim to fame. 

A lot of us tried to get ourselves killed, the number of veterans here is astounding. Look around the boards, make friends, and learn about yourself. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[Northern Star Girl]

Hello James, I would also like to Welcome You to Susan's Place.  This is the right place for you to trade information and suggestions with others that may be in a similar situation as yourself.  Transitioning is tough enough but when you have others to support you and you can bounce your thoughts off of them it makes things a lot easier. 

I see that Jessica already welcomed you and at the bottom of her message are LINKS that will help you to navigate around this site and help make your experience here an enjoyable one. 
Please look over the information and if you have any questions you can contact Jessica or me for any assistance that we can offer.

As Jessica mentioned please go to the Introductions Forum to yourself other members here.  Please get involved in the Forums and read others postings and feel free to post your own subjects and comments.

You may find new friends here... feel free to get involved as much or as little as you feel comfortable.
Again, WELCOME !!!
Danielle

[jameswhiteshine]

Hi James, welcome to Susan's Place! Having people understand that they're not alone is our #1 claim to fame. 

A lot of us tried to get ourselves killed, the number of veterans here is astounding. Look around the boards, make friends, and learn about yourself. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Thanks a lot for the message, I definitely do feel better knowing that there are people here who can help me out.

[jameswhiteshine]

Hello James, I would also like to Welcome You to Susan's Place.  This is the right place for you to trade information and suggestions with others that may be in a similar situation as yourself.  Transitioning is tough enough but when you have others to support you and you can bounce your thoughts off of them it makes things a lot easier. 

I see that Jessica already welcomed you and at the bottom of her message are LINKS that will help you to navigate around this site and help make your experience here an enjoyable one. 
Please look over the information and if you have any questions you can contact Jessica or me for any assistance that we can offer.

As Jessica mentioned please go to the Introductions Forum to yourself other members here.  Please get involved in the Forums and read others postings and feel free to post your own subjects and comments.

You may find new friends here... feel free to get involved as much or as little as you feel comfortable.
Again, WELCOME !!!
Danielle

Thanks for the warm welcome, I want to be involved as much as possible.