Hello,
I am 51 and a transgender woman. I have raised two children who were mine, and in their 20's having been in the system for so long, I struggled so that they could finish school. I am married but these were my children from my past. I also have half a dozen children from marriage. However, the only thing I know how to do with them is stay in therapy. I have motivational issues. It is hard for me to get out of bed. Beginning with my relationship to my mother, we all need to ease up on ourselves for being dysfunctional. Having kids, and literally transitioning my gender was not the greatest challenge I have faced. Yet, I admit with my kids who went through the system I faced complete defeat, and literally felt defeated. In my experience, the greatest challenge has been in staying active with even one community. I started in AA with the 12 steps at the age of 26. I became a Transgender LGBT activist at 40. Finding a balance to keep my interests going, and achieving my goals has been the hardest struggle. I have 31 graduate credits in Education and it maybe I will have to satisfy the requirements without a diploma before having to start over again in the humanities. My experience is that raising children as a Transgender is very much a single experience. While I love my wife, and love that we can be close, my conviction not to leave the past behind to give my kids a chance may have been late in our needing to have a family of our own. I believe once Transgenders can accept themselves they can begin to think of their own families as a multiple unit. Until then we can feel left up to our own completely, no matter how hard we try.
