Hi folks! First post here. As I was given so much information over time, through lurking, reading, etc - I wanted to give back. Especially with a bit of a positive story recovering (so far) from one of the most scary complications out there (or so I, and I think a lot of folks probably believe).
First, be warned, this is very TMI'ey. Though not graphic.
Second - I'll be honest - telling this probably helps me too. It's been quite a roller coaster, and I've relied on friends and chosen family, and my therapist for that matter - a lot through the process.
I should mention this is just a story. I am not making any recommendations here, and in fact - the risks I took may seem quite foolish. But here they are:
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I'm 1.5 months post-op. So, I'm well in the thick of things - but my thick of things really didn't go your standard route (but then, who's does, and who is really prepared - I ask myself rhetorically)
So, I had surgery on Valentines day with Dr. Heidi Wittenberg. Things were purported to have gone well - and I'm sure they did - but through a combination of whatever it was, a nick, fate, my taking to food too quickly, my body deciding it would be a blast - it was found that I had developed a Recto-vaginal fistula when the packing was removed.
I was devastated. Through my study there was nothing, short of endless bleeding complications - that I feared more.
I remember crying at the office, being told not to dilate, being scheduled for pretty much immediate revision surgery to patch it - and more importantly - being texted and called directly by Dr Wittenberg and being told they would take care of me.
I got through the 3 days between my packing being removed and the revision surgery getting sicker and sadder, douching and feeling just horrified and gross. Immediately being put on an all-liquid diet.
The follow-up surgery was also purported to go well, a biological tissue patch put in place and everything all stitched well. I was also told it would be best to let everything close up - and go for a revision surgery down the line - which didn't alleviate my sadness at the time - because who knows what the future holds?
A couple of things went through my head during the days that followed -
What if I lose my insurance? What if further revisions weren't covered? How would this effect my relationships in the future? I had also been told, if it was a weak spot instead of a fistula (even though she was 99% sure it was) she would simply show me how to dilate around it.... so.. I made a choice.
I wouldn't use dilators - I didn't have them anyway, but depth was irrecoverable - and what was the patch site but a weak spot? What would more likely to be covered by insurance - a fistula or a revision surgery? I have long, skinny fingers... can't I just dilate around the weak spot?
Preserve the 3.5-4 inches I could? - since surely, a couple inches were already gone (it had been 5 days since the packing was removed by then) and even if I was tight, width is recoverable.
So I did. I dilated with my fingers - as far as I could reasonably, as absolutely carefully as humanly possible - later, with a well, razor that was just shaped right, taped smooth and safe (the size of my finger), condom covered, curved at just the right spot, marked 4 inches, and also being careful as humanly possible - no poking, no pressure on the surgical site. (For me it was on a bottom-lower side of my vaginal wall, about 2 inches in... close enough not to touch or stretch too much).
As soon as I could I told my doctor my activities as well - and explained my reasoning, how careful I was being - how steadfast to an all liquid diet and resting I was being, etc.
She checked the site, on both sides - everything was holding, it was indeed avoidable - she bade me proceed with caution, fingers only.
And essentially, I got lucky I guess, mostly. It kept holding - appointment after appointment. To this day it is still holding, though I swear after a complication like that you see ghosts everywhere. Dilating 3 times a day, mostly with my finger/s careful. Religiously careful.
My recovery, generally has been slow. Two surgeries back to back beats the hell out of you. Being on an all liquid diet for 14 days, then a low residue diet for 14 days sucks. I lost 25 pounds.
My vulva looks stellar, but is hella angry with discharge (not from the vagina mind you, from the clit area) that is unnerving, but apparently ok (I checked with my doc.. multiple times (I needed re-assuring).
And.. I kept the 4 inches. I was given dilators, to recover depth, but will not be using them (my doctor's orders, and my agreement) for another 5 weeks - even then only the smallest size till 3 months, at least.
And.. I'm ok. As I said, it's a bit slow going for me, but that's ok. Dilating in this way feels.. wild and barbaric in some respects, but I know basically every topographical landmark of my vagina's interior, just where the pubic bone is, etc as a benefit XD. Luckily I really haven't had any further complications of other sorts (yet, *crosses fingers*) either.
Anyway, in my doctor's words - thus far I've had the best possible outcome of a really tough complication. By the way, her bedside manner and willingness to really listen and give the best possible advice, along with technical skill is amazing. I really would recommend Dr. Wittenberg.
Here's my sincere hope that things keep being ok. Lord knows I will keep being incredibly careful, with my diet, rest, and activities for as long as I'm still freaked out - which will likely be a while.
And that's that. I really appreciate all the stories, advice, and good reading on this forum. I just wanted to tell kinda a weird one.
Hello everyone. Cheers
