Endocrinologist but a little different

[v_7]

Dear all,

I am going to the Endocrinologist tomorrow.

The my last post was about me being unsure about whether identified as nb or ftm.(*)
My life in regards to family is not too easy right now due to the fact that one of my siblings (who has the wrong friends and even adapted an anti social attitude) wants to isolate himself from his family members in any way possible. This has been an emotional strain for me for quite some time.

I have been attending counseling sessions; during which we talk about "my problems in my life".
I think she he is a good counselor, however, I haven't been able to figure (*) (please see above) out. Still I only know that I do not identify as a woman.

A reason why I am seeing the endocrinologist tmrw is due to two reasons:
1. I want to get my hormone levels checked
2. I want to ask the doctor about the process of transitioning

A reason for the first is that many month ago I tried to get rid of my mens by going to the women's doctor by getting progesterone. The pills and the injections were given to me. I do not " it" and I am usually in a lot of pain. However, it had the reversed effect: I was constantly bleeding and felt depressed. The bleeding stopped after 5 months when another type of progesterone was given to me for 12 days which made me really depressed for the time I took it... a month later period is back and feeling like I have lost.

The second point is something what I have wished for a lot but there were also some doubts (see former post). My mum is especially conservative - needs to give her opinion on everything. So, I haven't told my parents about how I feel inside.

Tmrw with the endocrinologist I wanted to talk about how my period can be stopped :/
Should I also ask him/her about the transitioning process?
A problem with the German system is that you need to be ftm or mtf in order to be able to get hormones - what if I tell the endo that I do not know yet how I feel (I assume that I have an inner blockage which I just cannot break because of the fear of admitting it to my parents and I do not want to stress them even more out because one of my siblings is already making a lot of stress). Plus, I wanted to move out of Germany in the next few months and I do not know whether it is possible to do that in the country moved to.

A problem, however, is that there is not one single day I do not think about my problems. Sometimes I am just crying and thinking that I have just lost.

Any advice? What should I do? Should I just tell the endocrinologist or wait?

Thank you!

[josie76]

I can't really tell you what to do.
If your therapist doesn't have experience working with transgender people you might consider finding one who does. Many Endo doctors in the US still require a recommendation letter from a therapist before they will prescribe hormones for transition. Some like my doctor starts patients at a low dose and waits until the three month follow-up appointment to talk over changing dosages. Generally if the opposite hormone is right for you, this is enough time for you to feel the psycological effects. If the hormone change is not right for the patient they usually can tell by then.

[v_7]

Hi, thanks for replying.
As far as I know my therapist has some experience with transgender people.
Regarding hormones - it is different over here in Germany; just got the information: you gotta be 12 months into therapy until you are allowed to take them.

[blackcat]

OP, I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. I'm AFAB and not completely sure what's between my ears - I just know that isn't female.

My entire life, I had have terrible, terrible physical and psychological reactions to any kind of hormonal birth control, especially progesterone. It has always made me wonder if something in my chemistry might be different. If I could throw a switch to stop the periods in a second, I would.

I hope you're able to work out something with hormones that feels right to you, and you're able to continue your regimen when you move. Wishing the best for you, and your sibling, too.