Karen...my journey

[bobbisue]

     I missed that you are also from Canada As Jayne said we have great protections here since last June when Bill C16 received royal accent we became legally protected the same as any other group As to the anti androgens I found they did wonders for my mind and outlook YMMV  I am so glad your wife is supportive it really means so much

     Bobbisue

[Northern Star Girl]

Thank you for your encouragement and support. 

Yes, bad spelling...endocrinologists...

I will let you know how the week end goes.  My wife seems to have moved into a very supportive place... She says she feels positive and empowered, and is getting good support from her naturopath and therapist. In fact last nigh she texted me and said "I can look after the family and house.  You can lean on me." This is the best news of any, as I take these next steps and oddly, at the same time feel like I am losing control of this.   

Lots of positive things happening,with a dysphoria level that seems to be growing at hyper speed. 

Thank you all for your care and support. 
Karen

Karen:  Well, you mentioned about your wife moving into a supporting place and in her text she told you that you can lean on her.....   
Wow... that sounds like good news to me.

Are you and her going to your therapist together at times?   Usually that can be a good thing I think.
Oh, and the dysphoria can be a side-effect of transitioning and perhaps should diminish some as you continue your journey.  Hang it there, it can be a bumpy ride but usually it shouldl smooth out as you continue on.

Thank you for keeping us updated....
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jayne01]

Karen, great news that your wife is supporting. She sounds like a wonderful person. Cherish the effort she is making and the support she is offering. Also remember to support her when things get rough for her. Only this afternoon, my wife and I had a good talk and I realised that I have not been doing enough to support her. I became a little to absorbed with my own issues and wasn't as available to her as I should have been.

Take care,
Jayne

[Jessica]

Hi Karen, I just found your thread and found it helpful for my own relationships.  My wife and I are in a loving situation, but it is hard for her too.  While she puts on a good face and professed support, she was confused on what my goals were.  We are now looking for a couples therapist that can help us clarify what they are and how they will affect our lives.  Communication is the key.
I'm glad for you that your wife is becoming more accepting of the situation.  It does make a huge difference when those you love help you out.

Hugs and smiles, Jessica

[Karen]

Karen, great news that your wife is supporting. She sounds like a wonderful person. Cherish the effort she is making and the support she is offering. Also remember to support her when things get rough for her. Only this afternoon, my wife and I had a good talk and I realised that I have not been doing enough to support her. I became a little to absorbed with my own issues and wasn't as available to her as I should have been.

Take care,
Jayne

Thank you.  I can relate and I will work hard in supporting her...living with gratitude.  I can get so absorbed in my own anxiety, desire and dysphoria...

Thank you Jayne!

Karen

[Karen]

Thanks Jessica and Danielle...

I will up date everyone after Sunday.   

My wife and I are going to see my therapist together on Saturday so she can ask questions and learn.   And hopefully we will see a couples therapist next week to for the first time. 

I am also seeing my MD on Saturday and hope to get to an endocrinologist asap.   

This may shock all of you...but I have never knowingly met a transgender person face to face (other than looking in my mirror).   Monday night I am having drinks with a wonderful woman (TG), who the incredible lawyer introduced me to.   She seems so open and willing to connect.  I can't wait. 

Thank you all!

Big hugs

Karen

[Jessica]

Thanks Jessica and Danielle...

I will up date everyone after Sunday.   

My wife and I are going to see my therapist together on Saturday so she can ask questions and learn.   And hopefully we will see a couples therapist next week to for the first time. 

I am also seeing my MD on Saturday and hope to get to an endocrinologist asap.   

This may shock all of you...but I have never knowingly met a transgender person face to face (other than looking in my mirror).   Monday night I am having drinks with a wonderful woman (TG), who the incredible lawyer introduced me to.   She seems so open and willing to connect.  I can't wait. 

Thank you all!

Big hugs

Karen

It was when I started that I met my first transgender person at group therapy.  One of them and I have become good friends. 
It is a great relief being out with friends, whether they are trans or not, but it gives it a supportive twist when with someone you have a common interest.

Good luck on Saturday!...... Jessica

[Jayne01]

Thanks Jessica and Danielle...

I will up date everyone after Sunday.   

My wife and I are going to see my therapist together on Saturday so she can ask questions and learn.   And hopefully we will see a couples therapist next week to for the first time. 

I am also seeing my MD on Saturday and hope to get to an endocrinologist asap.   

I hope it goes well with both the therapist and the doctor and that you get your referral for an endocrinologist.

This may shock all of you...but I have never knowingly met a transgender person face to face (other than looking in my mirror).   Monday night I am having drinks with a wonderful woman (TG), who the incredible lawyer introduced me to.   She seems so open and willing to connect.  I can't wait. 

No shock at all. Up until last week I was the same as you, then on Tuesday I met another member from here who has not yet transitioned, and yesterday I met a transgender pilot at work who has fully transitioned several years ago. It was really nice to finally meet someone else like me who understands what it's like to be transgender. Best wishes for your drinks meeting on Monday. I hope some of your questions get answered and fears laid to rest.

Jayne

[Maybebaby56]

My wife... texted me and said "I can look after the family and house.  You can lean on me." 

That is s-o-o-o-o fantastic!  This augurs well for you, my dear.  This is such as blessing.

~Terri

[Karen]

Hi everyone...

It's been a busy few days for me.   

1. Had my MD meeting and got the anti anxiety medication - Celexa, and started taking it....dry mouth and headaches.  I will give it a couple more days...and might stop.   
2. MD has referred me to an endocrinologist for T Blockers...I can't wait.  Something tells me T blockers won't be enough. 
3. My wife and I had our joint meeting with my therapist.   It was very hard.  Inspite of her support in recent threads, she is having a really hard time.  It helped her to talk about it and confirm we are going to see a couples therapist.   
4. Last night I met with an older TG woman who transitioned in her late 60s.  What a wonderful woman.  So insightful and open about her journey.  I was so curious about how she managed it for so long....the reality is she suffered for through many periods of depression and started to transition in privately in her early 50s.   

Overall, I feel good about taking action on the things I can control vs all the things I am worried about.   During the day my anxiety and dysphoria is low, but in the morning and night challenging as I am closer to my feelings and want to live as me. 

Thank you all for listening and sharing!

Karen

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi everyone...

It's been a busy few days for me.   

1. Had my MD meeting and got the anti anxiety medication - Celexa, and started taking it....dry mouth and headaches.  I will give it a couple more days...and might stop.   
2. MD has referred me to an endocrinologist for T Blockers...I can't wait.  Something tells me T blockers won't be enough. 
3. My wife and I had our joint meeting with my therapist.   It was very hard.  Inspite of her support in recent threads, she is having a really hard time.  It helped her to talk about it and confirm we are going to see a couples therapist.   
4. Last night I met with an older TG woman who transitioned in her late 60s.  What a wonderful woman.  So insightful and open about her journey.  I was so curious about how she managed it for so long....the reality is she suffered for through many periods of depression and started to transition in privately in her early 50s.   

Overall, I feel good about taking action on the things I can control vs all the things I am worried about.   During the day my anxiety and dysphoria is low, but in the morning and night challenging as I am closer to my feelings and want to live as me. 

Thank you all for listening and sharing!

Karen

Karen: 
~Glad you are getting some meds that will help you with the problems you are having....  keep your doctor and/or the nurse in the loop if things don't improve.

~Well, at the beginning, the T-blockers alone WILL get you started on your transition journey... for many, it can be a common first step by your doctor.   Your doctor probably wants to see how low your T goes so the additional HRT drugs can be prescribed properly as blood tests are frequently checked.

~Regarding you and your wife meeting with your therapist ... there is no doubt that all of this is very, very difficult for her.  I give her Kudos for going with you the first time and for wanting to go with you to a couples therapist.

~It is very informative to meet and talk with older folks and/or those that have been transitioning for a long time ... even though their experience will be unique to them and most likely different from your experiences...
...there can be valuable lessons to be learned... talk and share and listen..

~Yes, taking positive actions on the things that you can control are the right things to do and will make you feel better about yourself and result in positive improvements....  Yes, during the day, your feelings will go up and down... at least that was normal for me.... and still is sometimes.

Thanks for posting your updates. 
I am always looking for what you are posting here on your thread and elsewhere on the Forums.
Hugs,
Danielle
.

[Laurie]

Hi Karen,

  Yes, you and your wife have been busy, and busy in a good way. I cannot add much to what Danielle has said  that you already do not know. As for the anti anxiety meds, when I started my Sertraline (Zoloft) the first 3 days were interesting. I likened it to being back on drugs. Which of course it is but I meant street drugs. My head felt a bit strange, I had a cold period for about 20 minutes where I shivered like I was freezing that was followed by a hot flash for a bout 15 minutes then it went away never to return. After 3 days I felt no effects from taking the medication. That persisted for about a month and a half when I began to feel less depressed. Like things were getting a little better. It took a few weeks more for me to feel good enough to escape actively thinking of doing away with myself. a few more to staop talking about having had those thoughts.   What I am trying to say is you will need to give you meds the time they will need to work and it may take several week for you to know whether they are or not. The initial getting used to them should only be several days. Good Luck Karen.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Jayne01]

Hi everyone...

It's been a busy few days for me.   

1. Had my MD meeting and got the anti anxiety medication - Celexa, and started taking it....dry mouth and headaches.  I will give it a couple more days...and might stop.   
2. MD has referred me to an endocrinologist for T Blockers...I can't wait.  Something tells me T blockers won't be enough. 
3. My wife and I had our joint meeting with my therapist.   It was very hard.  Inspite of her support in recent threads, she is having a really hard time.  It helped her to talk about it and confirm we are going to see a couples therapist.   
4. Last night I met with an older TG woman who transitioned in her late 60s.  What a wonderful woman.  So insightful and open about her journey.  I was so curious about how she managed it for so long....the reality is she suffered for through many periods of depression and started to transition in privately in her early 50s.   

Overall, I feel good about taking action on the things I can control vs all the things I am worried about.   During the day my anxiety and dysphoria is low, but in the morning and night challenging as I am closer to my feelings and want to live as me. 

Thank you all for listening and sharing!

Karen

Hi Karen,

You have been busy indeed.

Great news about getting a referral to an endocrinologist. Is there a waiting period or can you get in fairly soon? I was wondering about your anti anxiety meds. If you will soon be getting on T blockers, is it worth postponing the anti anxiety medication if you think you can handle it. Maybe the T blockers will accomplish the task of reducing your anxiety, because you will have officially begun your medical transition to becoming female. Just a thought.

It is fantastic that your wife is putting in the effort to speak with a therapist and willing to go to couples therapy. This is just as hard, possibly even harder, for her as it is for you. I find it heart warming that many partners are willing to push through the hard times because their love for one another is worth fighting for. I am one of those fortunate people too. It's not an easy road but there are some wonderful rewards along the way.

You can learn a lot from someone who has transitioned and already been where you are about to go. Even better when they are a nice person as well.

Take care,
Jayne

[Karen]

Hi everyone...

Doing a bit better the last couple of days.

Still trying to get into an Endocrinologyst....OMG it is hard to get responses and a booking?   Any advice on finding a good one and getting in in Canada would be appreciated.   

Thanks again for all your support and advice.

Karen

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi everyone...

Doing a bit better the last couple of days.

Still trying to get into an Endocrinologyst....OMG it is hard to get responses and a booking?   Any advice on finding a good one and getting in in Canada would be appreciated.   

Thanks again for all your support and advice.

Karen

Karen:   My small town barely has a doctor and an emergency clinic.      My Endo is in Anchorage, a 7 hour drive away, and there are several others there with very little wait times I think.   When I first moved here I got my first Endo appointment in less than 2 weeks. ... perhaps I was lucky.   Being in the USA I don't think that they will recognize the government CHA or private Canadian Health Insurance.... but I could be wrong???

Sorry that I can't be of any help to you with the problems you are having where you live.... good luck getting in, I know that waiting really tests a transgender's patience to the max.

Hang in there, girl.   Patience is a virtue.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Donna]

Hi everyone...

Doing a bit better the last couple of days.

Still trying to get into an Endocrinologyst....OMG it is hard to get responses and a booking?   Any advice on finding a good one and getting in in Canada would be appreciated.   

Thanks again for all your support and advice.

Karen

I don't know about where you are for access but here in Alberta it is so convoluted. It took two months to get a letter back from the doctor that works with the TG community. He requested a referral letter from my therapist and fortunately their office is on the accepted list otherwise I would have to move or take my reports elsewhere. At this point 3 months post request I still have another month to get the letter. After that I can then make an appointment and this doctor is the gatekeeper for all further treatments. If surgery is in the future it then needs one more letter and typically the doctor that does that one is 3 hrs away and who knows how many months. They are still requiring 1 year living as female according to Wpath to be considered for surgery's. I'm fortunate ? That the testes are coming out due to a major cyst growth after July. My urologist is doing that much for me.

[Karen]

Thanks everyone. 

Doing better this week.   I think it might be the anti anxiety meds and having a plan.   The Dysphoria is still there, just less intense.   

Still working on an endocrinologist referral.   Can't wait.   

And still working on couples counsellor dates.

And am going to start meditation. 

One day at a time

Hugs to all of you.

Karen

[Jayne01]

Thanks everyone. 

Doing better this week.   I think it might be the anti anxiety meds and having a plan.   The Dysphoria is still there, just less intense.   

Still working on an endocrinologist referral.   Can't wait.   

And still working on couples counsellor dates.

And am going to start meditation. 

One day at a time

Hugs to all of you.

Karen

Having a plan can be helpful with managing anxiety. I didn't have a plan and lately my anxiety has been escalating to an uncomfortable level. Just creating a rough plan in my head has helped bring the anxiety back down.

Glad to see you are doing better.

Jayne

[KathyLauren]

Still trying to get into an Endocrinologyst....OMG it is hard to get responses and a booking?   Any advice on finding a good one and getting in in Canada would be appreciated.   

It varies by province, but specialists are hard to get appointments with in all parts of the country.  Here in NS, there are only two endos, and the waiting list to see either one is about two years. (!)  I think it's not quite so bad elsewhere, but not necessarily a lot better.

I started my HRT without seeing an endo.  There's a clinic, staffed by ordinary GPs who have educated themselves on trans issues and WPATH standards.  They take uncomplicated cases.  Ordinarily, my age would have gotten me sent to an endo, but I am in excellent health, with no complications, so they took me on.

My wait time was only four months.  There might be similar clinics where you are.

[Donna]

Here in Calgary we have basically one doctor to go thru. Edmonton has a few and once you are looking for surgery you end up there for a second letter. That's the way it was for my daughter at least. I did luck out and find a GP with trans experience that started me on estrogen. So I'm a little ahead of the curve when I finally get an appointment here. So far it's three months since the request and possibly another month until I even get a date to see the doc here.