I only noticed some rather vague differences, comparing how I got treated while appearing female vs. appearing male. However it's difficult to know how to judge the 4 years in my transition when I pretty much passed 50-50 and appeared very androgynous no matter what I did. So I'll only judge the times I was clearly perceived as either male or female, before and after that long grey-zone.
Before, people were slightly more likely to be over-protective of me, like to an embarrassing degree, when I was upset or hurting.
- Now people are slightly more likely to think I can handle myself, but most of the time both before and after, people have been/are protective to a reasonable degree.
Before, people were more likely to show care or support when I talked about having been through sexual assault.
- After I started passing as male, people have been more likely to be rude about it or think of it as funny.
Before, I got free drinks at bars/clubs, from both men and women.
- Since after passing, that happens extremely rarely, and it's only been gay/bi men who've flirted with me. Much more likely I'm the one to offer free drinks, to both friends and guys I've flirted with.
Before, I was not expected to move for others or open doors, etc.
- Nowadays, if I don't move/open doors I'm given the death stare and sometimes am called rude things.
Before, when going to a heavy metal concert I was often very wild, rude and even brutal in the crowd close to the stage and no one cared.
- When I was somewhat passing as male I went to one more such concert and was my usual wild, rude and brutal self but it nearly resulted in being given a black eye... so that wasn't appreciated.
Before, cis guys were more likely uncomfortable/withdrawn around me, with the exception of other aspies and drunk friends, pretty much. Women were much more likely to approach me. (I don't mean sexually though, I've never been approacked by a woman flirting, before or after).
- Now, men and women seem equally likely to approach me, although for some reason middle aged women seem to flock around me nowadays... I don't mind though, they're usually kind and interesting people.
This is a weird one. Nowadays I'm expected to walk on the outer side of a sidewalk when crossing paths with a woman on the same sidewalk, but no such expectation when it's another man. This seems to be some weird, unspoken, hidden "rule" that I've just uncovered. I don't like it much, cause it gives me bad vibes, as if it's something to do with the idea that men are supposedly disposable while women supposedly should be protected at all times. Like nope, I don't want to risk my life by almost walking out in the street on a very narrow sidewalk for some random woman I don't even know. But whatever. It's a pet peeve.
On a more general note, these days I do feel like I'm treated with more respect and am being taken more seriously, but really, I think that has a lot more to do with that I'm 10 years older now and people tend to in general treat 29 yo's with more respect than 19 yo's. My sister who's 2 years younger than me but is cis has noticed the same kind of effect with her social life. So it's likely not trans-related for me either.
