Returning former member here, I've been loitering and reading for a while. I'm not sure what to include or omit, so bear with me a moment...
Three months ago I began working as a pharmacy technician. During my interview I asked the associates manager that was interviewing me what the company's general position is/was regarding transgender employees. My paperwork says male but my ability to pass is hit and miss, as I'm stuck in that funky, somewhat androgynous 13-year-old-boy with a dirty looking upper lip stage plus I'm overweight and -large- chested despite binding. I'm also primarily misgendered by women.
Either way, she assured me that said discussion would be confidential and gave indication that she was supportive. A few weeks down the road I met with the union rep because of a payroll issue. Afterward he went to discuss the issue with the aforementioned associates manager and then came back to discuss it with me. Upon his return he pulled me into a private space to apologize for "misgendering" me, because when he went to the office and referred to me as "he," the associates manager emphatically informed him that I am female. He and I then had a brief, awkward, discussion about the fact that I am male.
Two months down the road I learn that one of my fellow technicians entered the office recently and stepped into a discussion between HR and said associates manager, all of which were apparently in agreement that I am female. My coworker then proceeded to speak up and defend (ultimately argue) my gender claim.
I've also just learned that I've been struggling with being misgendered by the technicians and pharmacists since day one because the office introduced me as female when they passed along new hire information prior to my first day of work. Most of this has resolved; the pharmacy people are all largely supportive of my right to exist as I am; one pharmacist has lingering issue with this and nearly always misgenders me to the patients/customers.
Sunday night as I was leaving work I and another technician came across one of the HR managers as we were exiting the building and she smiled, said "Ladies, are we having a good evening?" I was caught off guard and immediately blurted out, "It's sir!" She laughed and replied, "I said, "and gentlemen."" She then proceeded to defend her choice in language, because, quote, "Well, you have such a pleasing voice."
I live in Kentucky, where the law doesn't extend protections to gender identities. I recognize that I need to decide where to draw the line and then move on if that line is breached. There's enough chatter that ignoring this isn't really an option.
I get that humans are curious by nature. The people I work with directly have had some questions, usually appropriate, and we discuss the topics (even if just to tell them that their question is inappropriate.)
I get that I'm (evidently) the first transgender employee these managers have encountered. I feel I've been very tolerant. However, I fail to grasp how these discussions are coming to pass, and I begin to wonder if I am a target.
I need advice; help!
