I am the Hunted Prey : Danielle’s Chronicles

[Northern Star Girl]

UPDATE:   I am glad it is now Wednesday May 2nd.   It is 6:00AM here, got my early morning shower and I now have a fresh cup of coffee next to my laptop as I am writing this ....

Yesterday was kind of a "bust" for me....  it all started out with a bad experience at my local coffee shop while I sat at a table having breakfast before going to work.  I wrote some of this on Moni's thread yesterday, "Moni's The Tipping Point in Transition and Normalization", but I will tell my unhappy story here also.

So far, since my recent "outing" I have experienced very little negativity except for this morning.  A man and woman couple that were just visiting the town chatting away and I overheard them make some rude comments about me to my friends when they saw me at my nearby table having breakfast this morning.   After the couple got up and left, my friends came over to tell me that they were talking about me being a trans-woman and didn't know that at the nearby table to them that the visiting couple were hearing every word.  That explains why the visitors kept staring at me while I was eating.   My friends then kept apologizing to me over and over for not being aware that others were listening to them.... and at least that made me feel good in spite of feeling very uncomfortable.

I went back to my next door office to tackle the tasks building up on my desk ... I was not feeling my happy self all day...  some work projects were not going right... and I discovered that I screwed up a Profit and Loss Statement for a client's business... fortunately I caught the error just before I put it in the mail.
Then the next thing I screwed up was my reply posting on @Steph2.0 thread that @Jayne01 also posted a reply on and I ended up screwing up her post and another post reply by @KathyLauren .....      I got so sidetracked with the bad day events that I forgot all about fixing the errors right away.   Thankfully @Laurie came to my rescue and worked on fixing my errors late last night for over a half hour....  blessings to you Laurie... and thank you for coming to my rescue.

Then late yesterday afternoon it all hit the fan here at Susan's Place with the Security Certificate issues.  I had several emails from members that I have friended recently wondering if it was safe to ignore the WARNING MESSAGE everyone got on their computers when trying to go to the Susan's site....  so I was busy replying to many of them with the assurance that they should go ahead and go to the site.  I got home very late last night from work and I had a hard time sleeping well, so I was up early this morning and showered right after 5:OOAM.   I hate just rolling around in bed trying to sleep so I just got up.   So TODAY is a new day......  things will go better, and I won't take no for an answer!!!!
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Now, my editorial for all transgenders everywhere:
Where I live, I am probably the only trans-woman any of the townspeople have known about and have met. 
I go out of my way to be friendly, kind, considerate, polite....   and give a positive image of a good contributing citizen to my community.

It is important that as transgenders that we present ourselves well and help gain respect for all transgenders.    There is nothing worse that us giving an bad impression because of our actions and remarks.

All we can control is how WE feel and how WE act and talk.  We can not control what others do and say.  When others do and say unsavory things that put us in a bad light, we must be careful how we react to that.   While showing anger and getting back at those that besmirch and defame us may feel good for a very brief time, it is usually not the correct move to make.   .... end of editorial
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More updates to come later....
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

Danielle!  I'm so sorry that happened to you, I'm curious if your friends they talked to stood up for you. 
I'm sorry for your kerfluffle in posting.  I was in the middle of making Chicken Vindaloo and missed it.  Laurie told me I missed a good exercise in the processes as a moderator.

I do agree with your message that love conquers hate.  It does!
You are a model of who we should all strive to be.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

[sarah1972]

I am so sorry about the incident in the coffee shop. It sounds awful and I can fully understand how you felt yesterday. I am so glad your friends have been there for you.I am surprised you could even concentrate on work.

You always amaze me with your positive attitude, even in such tough situations. I can not even imagine what must be going on inside you. You had such a turmoil in the past two weeks and I really hope you will find some quiet time.

You are also such a kind, engaged and polite person. I am sure this will help in your town to be accepted for you. It will spread.

I really hope, this is a one and only incident.

I completely agree - we have our own fate in our hand. And through visibility, we can influence public perception.

Many big hugs! Stay strong!

Sarah

[Laurie]

  Danielle,

  After a morning like that I can understand why your day wasn't the best. It does seem to be that a day started badly tends to propagate throughout the day unless something good happens to derail it.
(Gee, I hope something good happens for me quick... I made a "plan". I set 3 alarms starting at 5:30 so I can get up, dress, eat, and then drive about 20 miles so I could turn my name change forms in.  I got up about 7:30 ...  See why I don't make plans?  lol)

  Frankly Danielle, I am surprised you weren't able to derail the way your day was going. With your bright and bubbly attitude and cheerful outlook on life, I would think you would be able to turn things around. But on the other hand what occurred yesterday shows the rest of us that you my dear are human too, just like the rest of us.  (((HUG)))

   Today will be a better day. I believe you.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Kendra]

The visiting couple that made the rude comments will be gone, somewhere else and long forgotten as they go about their negative lives.  It's their loss.

Your friends at least now understand to be more careful chatting about personal information. 

Big hug.  You need it.

[islandgirl]

Your comments ring so true in my town as well! For many if not all the people I come across in my small city, I am the first if not only transgender female they have come across. Very conservative attitudes prevail and so my approach has always been a positive, middle road style approach. I have no need to put myself into a confrontation of views. I try to proceed with my life as best I can. My friends, mostly males with whom I did marathon training with, have been accepting and supportive from day one. I am a lone rider here as there is not really any 'community' to speak of. I have still not gained that group of girl friends with which I can hang out with. When I have joined a group, such as a running group , I am always the oldest by far in the group. This has not lead to social connections. I am luck to have a local coffee shop that is owned by a couple of women who have been very supportive of me.

I think how we, in general, carry ourselves in our communities is important. My approach is to have people not consider me as transgender, but as female. So far so good!

Have a wonderful day, Danielle! Thanks for all your supportive comments. I look forward to your posts, not just for information or fun, but for the way you respond to the variety of posts. You always approach topics with a respectful, caring and positive approach. Your friends are lucky to know you.

As for the couple, as Kendra stated, they are 'out of there'!

Hugs,
Kelly

[Allison S]

Danielle, it may not mean much but I'm here for you. I don't like to hear someone having a bad day, and as you know very well I have had many... I know you always comment and help me when you can. Like you said in your other post, "it's a new day".
When I first read about the couples actions yesterday, I didn't think much of it because your friends were apologetic to you.
Still, you're allowed to feel the way you do about what happened... I would feel the same way

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

[amberwaves]

Danielle we all have bad days from time to time.  You still seem so amazingly positive about things even when you are down.  That is a truly remarkable trait.  Pay no mind to the strangers giving you looks.  They likely don't know any trans persons and have never had their preconceived bigotry challenged yet.  I know it's easier said than done, but look at the response from the locals.  They seem to accept you and you are a great ambassador to show them that we are not freaks or weirdos or the like.  I hope things improve.  If you need to vent, you know how to reach me [emoji4]

[nikkiannukts]

Danielle,

My thoughts and best wishes given your bad experience at the hands of common humanity.  Generally these people are always the first to complain when they are not treated with consideration or immediate attention, yet they feel they can pass judgement on everyone else.

We tread a difficult path as result of our unique psyche/situation but this often means we have a far more enlightened view of life.   

My personal thanks to you for your continued positivity and warmth here at Susan's as there are many days when my world has been made a lot better by your cheerful and warm postings.

Look forward, not back and I am certainly grateful for your time and energies here.

Nikki

[Katie Jade]

The visiting couple that made the rude comments will be gone, somewhere else and long forgotten as they go about their negative lives.  It's their loss.

Your friends at least now understand to be more careful chatting about personal information. 

Big hug.  You need it.

Dear Danielle,
Kendra's comments as well as all the other girls posts are so right, its their problem, and your friends are here as well as obviously in your new home town (seems to me you have more every day).
Its just one of those things that you are definitely bigger than so shrug it off and get on with the saga (please !!)
So loving your eloquent description of your world of possible liaisons, so beautiful it keeps us all waiting for the next twist and turn. Loving it. You write this bit of your life very well.
Hugz
Katie

[Northern Star Girl]

Wednesday afternoon update:

Dear ladies... my wonderful and dear friends here on Susan's Place that have made comments and posted replies on my "journal" chronicles thread....
@Jessica @sarah1972 @Laurie @Kendra @islandgirl @Allison S @amberwaves  @nikkiannukts
@Katie Again @Jayne01  @I Am Jess  @KathyLauren @Roll @Steph2.0 @Julie -2010  @SarahFehrman
@davina61 @HappyMoni @Karen @amandam @JudiBlueEyes @TonyaW @Megan. @Susan Baum
@Charlie Nicki @pamelatransuk @bobbisue @MistressStevie @Rachel @Karen_A @josie76 @Sonja
@Chelsea @JLT1 @Cassi @natalie.ashlyne @Colleen_definitely @Nicole70 @Gertrude @ChrissyRyan
@softbutchharley @Mumei @AnamethatstartswithE @V M @Jessica_Rose 
   
Thank you so very much for your kind and supportive remarks.   
After my bad day on Tuesday (yesterday) it was nice to see your very kind replies and PMs that were very much a welcome sight.

Today is all better now... at the coffee shop this morning when I was getting my take-out espresso, I saw my shy Suitor #3 there having breakfast with what appeared to be one of business friends.  As I was leaving with my coffee cup in hand he waved me over to his table to engage in some brief and friendly chit-chat and then introduced me to his friend.... he introduced me as his most beautiful lady friend in town.  After they had breakfast they walked next door to briefly greet me at my office. *happy smiles  *

Well, that was a good start to my day.  My work load today has been very manageable and without too many difficulties.   After waking up so early this morning I got hungry for lunch about 10AM my time.... so now it is just after noon here and I am getting out of here early this afternoon to go to the GYM this afternoon with my gym girl group for our weekly scheduled workout.   No worries about the creepy Suitor #2 at the gym, one of the women in my gym girl group will keep him away from all of us... she is the bouncer for our group wherever we go. Here is a picture I posted on this thread when we all went on our big city shopping trip on April 19th.  My Dental Hygienist aka: Suitor#4 is wearing the dark jacket sitting next to me.  The gal on the left with the blonde hair in the light blue jacket is another gym group friend, our girl group bouncer, she is always coming to my rescue at the gym when she sees the creepy Suitor#2 come near to where I am working out.


Well, a wonderful and good day today...  I will get home fairly early after the gym routine workout-visit.

Outside it is a snowy cold day, the temp finally got up to 36 deg, last night was so cold at 24 deg so I am thinking that when I get home after the gym (I am not going back to work today) that I will light up my propane stove, warm up my house, perhaps do some baking after a nice dinner, I put a small pot roast with lots of veggies in my slow cooker when I left for work this morning... and then later I plan on changing into my night clothes and curling up with a blanket in my comfy chair next to the propane stove and just enjoy relaxing and reading a good book that I have been working on.

Life always has ups and downs.....   today is an "up" day for sure.

Thanks again to all of my readers/friends here for your kindness and uplifting support that you have shown to me with your replies and PMs.
<3  Hugs,
Danielle

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Danielle.  Glad to see you are having a good day and are scheduling some self-maintenance time!

[Jessica]

Today certainly made up for yesterday!

[davina61]

Now that  sounds like my night , slow cooker for tomorrow with chicken and veg and shower and nighty but TV not a book.

[Nicole70]

Hi Danielle,
Sorry to hear about your bad day, I've only just caught up, these time zones mess with things. Like others have commented you are an inspiration with your bright outlook, I had a pretty crappy day yesterday too, and your attitude regarding us presenting ourselves well to others really hit a note for me, as do many other things you post, thank you for that.
I'm glad you are feeling better today, and taking some time for yourself, hope you have an enjoyable evening.
Hugs
Nicole

[natalie.ashlyne]

Glad you had a much better day, happy to see that.

[Karen]

Hi Danielle

Sorry to hear about your bad day, and am so happy to see your post today!!

Thanks for including us, and know we are always hear for you to listen and support you.   

Sorry to hear about the snow .    Spring is finally here.

Karen

[Jayne01]

Danielle, I am sorry that our different time zones prevented me from replying to offer my support in a timely manner for your bad day. That couple came to visit a small town, and instead of having their lives enriched by the nice people in that town, they chose to be rude to one of the nicest people I have ever encountered. That is their huge loss.

I admire your positive outlook on life. You are a real inspiration to me and many others and are a wonderful role model.

I'm not sure what you were referring to about screwing up my reply post on Steph's thread. I didn't notice anything. I didn't get any of the security certificate issues either, but I use Tapatalk on my phone to access the forum, which may have made a difference.

I'm very happy that you didn't dwell on that bad day and just got on with things. And now it's a new day and you are feeling better. It is a pure delight to follow you along your story. Thank you for sharing and including us on your life.

Jayne

[JudiBlueEyes]

Danielle it's so nice to hear you've bounced back from that awful day.  Keep smiling and enjoying life! 

Judi
ps: I don't know where you find the time to bake.  You are one busy woman.

[Northern Star Girl]

Danielle it's so nice to hear you've bounced back from that awful day.  Keep smiling and enjoying life! 

Judi
ps: I don't know where you find the time to bake.  You are one busy woman.

@JudiBlueEyes:   I "make" the time to bake, I find that baking and cooking is good therapy... plus I get to eat and share the rewards of my efforts.   In fact, the owner of the coffee shop has asked several times for several dozen of my cookies and perhaps a pie or 2... of which I gladly provided. 
In addition, turning on the oven and baking does help to nicely warm the house... that is another reason I like to bake, especially on a cold and snowy day like today.
Thank you for your reply post.
Hugs,
Danielle