I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle’s Chronicles

[bobbisue]

@HappyMoni   
Not quite bikini weather here yet, the snow is gone from the streets and yards, the mountains are still heavy with a blanket of snow... the night time temps are still well-below freezing and day time temps on the 40's ... but spring is coming for sure.
Hugs,
Danielle

Wow even Alaska is warmer than here I still have snow in my yard and ice in front of my driveway Your shopping trip sounds like fun a friend of mine and I are planning a trip to saskatoon soon congrats on all the suitors I am a wee bit jealous but my wife wouldn't like it so I won't be going there anytime soon

     Bobbisue

[Northern Star Girl]

Wow even Alaska is warmer than here I still have snow in my yard and ice in front of my driveway Your shopping trip sounds like fun a friend of mine and I are planning a trip to saskatoon soon congrats on all the suitors I am a wee bit jealous but my wife wouldn't like it so I won't be going there anytime soon

     Bobbisue

@bobbisue ...  regarding the weather, it is still plenty cold and cloudy here, never got above 38 or 30 Deg F today, tonight will be down in the mid 20's Deg F....  We have been having very heavy frost in the mornings but no precipitation this week, it there were we would have snow on the ground in the morning instead of frost.  Definitely NOT bikini weather yet.  I guess that your area and my area never got the memo about it being Springtime.

I really enjoy my shopping trips and going on regular gym visits with my cis-women friends... and other activities too....  doing things like this are really affirming and a boost to my female ego.... and of course I am charting a new course dealing with male (and a female) Suitors... this is all very exciting but at the same time it can be frightening and scary for me as I have written in various posts in my thread here and on other threads on the Forums.

I am single so I don't have the "spouse" complication that the married transitioners have... but as you read some of the other member's postings (that are married) all around the Forum you will see that a good number of them have good relations with their supportive spouse.
Wishing you continued success in your journey and thank you for your posting.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Karen]

Danielle, thanks for your continued sharing and openness.  You are awesome.

I may have missed it, but how did your being approached about having transitioned play out?   What did you say or do?   Did others, other thank Suitor #4, approach you?

Please don't share if it is too personal.  Just trying to learn how you stepped through it and handled it. 

Hugs

Karen

[Northern Star Girl]

Danielle, thanks for your continued sharing and openness.  You are awesome.

I may have missed it, but how did your being approached about having transitioned play out?   What did you say or do?   Did others, other thank Suitor #4, approach you?

Please don't share if it is too personal.  Just trying to learn how you stepped through it and handled it. 

Hugs
Karen

@Karen   I think I covered all the details on my thread UPDATE titled "This Morning's News"  on Page 8 back on April 11th,  Comment #72.   Read a number of the replies and comments before and after my UPDATE and that should give you the details that you are asking about... if not, please feel free to ask me. 

So far, I am getting great support from most of the people at the coffee shop, my clients and my close friends. This has been a better outcome than I thought it would be... but, of course there are some here that do not approve of a trans-woman in their small town.   I am probably the only trans-woman that they have ever seen or met ... so I am making certain that I am doing things right and acting correctly so that their first impression of a trans-woman is a positive one.

This personal thread of mine has gotten "out of hand"  12 pages and 224 replies.... if you have the time, the best thing to do if you are wondering what is going on with me, and what HAS gone on with me is to first brew a pot of coffee and sit down in an easy chair with your cup of coffee and start at the beginning..... I have documented the details and events regarding all of this.... 
However, there are probably some very personal details that I "might" have left out!!  LOL 
Hugs,
Danielle

Note:  To help you to establish a starting point BEFORE I started this thread on April 8th with my first post, this is what I posted on March 26th with several of my reply posts on another thread:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234097.msg2115605.html#msg2115605
" What made you happy today? For mtF members only, please. 3.0"

[Allison S]

They're lucky to have met you! I definitely agree that once people "get to know" someone, they usually don't judge as much.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[Karen]

Thanks Danielle...

This thread is not too long.

Thanks.  I did follow back at #72, but woke up in the middle of the night thinking of you and wondered how you actually handled it / what you actually said to #4 and or others.    Do you acknowledge it, tell them your whole story, or smile and let it pass knowing you want to live this life (not your past one)?

Reason for asking...curious, and I am living as a physical man, but there are small but cumulative changes in my gender expression, and there are more people I am bringing into my confidence as I seek therapy and help.   Bottom line, I am thinking about what I would say if I was outed today...as I still live as a man. 

Thanks

Karen

[Northern Star Girl]

Thanks Danielle...

This thread is not too long.

Thanks.  I did follow back at #72, but woke up in the middle of the night thinking of you and wondered how you actually handled it / what you actually said to #4 and or others.    Do you acknowledge it, tell them your whole story, or smile and let it pass knowing you want to live this life (not your past one)?

Reason for asking...curious, and I am living as a physical man, but there are small but cumulative changes in my gender expression, and there are more people I am bringing into my confidence as I seek therapy and help.   Bottom line, I am thinking about what I would say if I was outed today...as I still live as a man. 

Thanks

Karen

@Karen ...  you should continue reading all the subsequent comments by me and others past my reply #72 on Page 8 all the way through reply#103 on Page 7 .... read reply #87 closely..... I am not sure that I can add much more to what I had said in that series of comments and replies.

... I did not tell everyone my entire life story, just my gym girl friends and the owner of the coffee shop... all other interested parties I just told them that when I moved to this town that I came here as a woman and started a business.  Some were shocked that I was not born a woman... I will take that as a compliment.  I have had very little blow-back.  Actually the fact that my "secret" was accidentally leaked out by one of my gym women friends when she told her husband...  was actually a good thing... she felt awful about it but the good end-result certainly justifies the means.  She is still a very good friend today... she was one of the friends that came along on my out of town shopping trip last week.
Danielle

[Karen]

Thanks.   Sorry for the hassle.   I can't believe I missed it. 

Thanks again.

Karen

[Northern Star Girl]

Thanks.   Sorry for the hassle.   I can't believe I missed it. 

Thanks again.

Karen

@Karen:  Absolutely NO WORRIES .... not a hassle at all. 
If you have further curious questions please feel free to message me any time. 
I will be happy to share with you.
Hugs,
Danielle

[sarah1972]

Thank you so much for sharing all these updates. I think many here benefit from your posts.

I can not even imagine the emotions you must have gone through after finding out how far the news has spread. At least your most immediate environment seems to be very supportive or at least very accepting. Glad to read you have not lost any of your gym friends too! Your great and open personality may have played a role in getting accepted so quick.

I sometime splay the statistics game to figure out how many trans people live in my town. Statistically it should be 96 (95 + me). For many reasons that number may be higher and while I have met a few living in the county, I do not recall meeting anyone from our little town. So you may not be as alone as you think :-) I really hope everyone ends up at least tolerating you.

Interesting how the news spread. It is still a bit exotic and people like to talk about this. I was frankly surprised how far my coming out email was distributed (I had given explicit permission to my coworkers to forward to everyone I had forgotten, not thinking that this may include a wide array of former coworkers too). Not the same situation but trans news seems to spread very fast.

Hope you had a great first day back to work after you mini-vacation.

So far, I am getting great support from most of the people at the coffee shop, my clients and my close friends. This has been a better outcome than I thought it would be... but, of course there are some here that do not approve of a trans-woman in their small town.   I am probably the only trans-woman that they have ever seen or met ... so I am making certain that I am doing things right and acting correctly so that their first impression of a trans-woman is a positive one.

This personal thread of mine has gotten "out of hand"  12 pages and 224 replies.... if you have the time, the best thing to do if you are wondering what is going on with me, and what HAS gone on with me is to first brew a pot of coffee and sit down in an easy chair with your cup of coffee and start at the beginning..... I have documented the details and events regarding all of this.... 
However, there are probably some very personal details that I "might" have left out!!  LOL 
Hugs,
Danielle

Note:  To help you to establish a starting point BEFORE I started this thread on April 8th with my first post, this is what I posted on March 26th with several of my reply posts on another thread:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234097.msg2115605.html#msg2115605
" What made you happy today? For mtF members only, please. 3.0"

[pamelatransuk]

Interesting how the news spread. It is still a bit exotic and people like to talk about this. I was frankly surprised how far my coming out email was distributed (I had given explicit permission to my coworkers to forward to everyone I had forgotten, not thinking that this may include a wide array of former coworkers too). Not the same situation but trans news seems to spread very fast.

Hello Sarah and Others

I have been reading Susan's for about a year although only joined as a member 3 months ago.

It is perhaps surprising that this matter has not been brought up before to my knowledge (I suppose it has but I have obviously not read it here on Susans). Yes Sarah absolutely nothing seems to travel faster and more widely than trans news; more so than general news, religious news, political news and even other potentially sensational items.

This of course has a upside in that when one decides to be "out", one usually wants to be "out" to most others and "fast grapevine" helps in that respect. But it has a downside in that our culture still sees trans as sensationalist which is shouldn't.

Pamela

[sarah1972]

True - the day I decided to be out, I wanted to be "all in" or better "all out". And yes, this is a bit sensational but I also know it really helped. One female coworker actually called a department meeting to help everyone understand what is going on and gave them an entire presentation about trans. So sweet of her!

The much I would like to hide it and just be a women, I also know there will always be moments where it will come out. My brother sent me a comic a while ago where three women are discussing dress colors. While the first and the second date between "Crimson" and "Scarlet" the third just proclaims "red" and outs herself as trans by not knowing the subtle differences of color. Especially for me as an older person with many people I have met over time, my only choice to live undetected is to break contacts with everyone. And even then a medical professional would know (and need to know). For now I decided to try my best but if it boils down, I also embrace being trans. There is an aspect of visibility helping the trans population - the more everyone sees trans as being a great way of living, the more people may re-think their positions and become accepting. I have had several big surprises in the past 10 month where people I was absolutely convinced they could not accept it, turned out to be really great about it. 

I hope the society's memory of my male times fades away one day. But until then, I am the ">-bleeped-< on the Block".

Hello Sarah and Others

I have been reading Susan's for about a year although only joined as a member 3 months ago.

It is perhaps surprising that this matter has not been brought up before to my knowledge (I suppose it has but I have obviously not read it here on Susans). Yes Sarah absolutely nothing seems to travel faster and more widely than trans news; more so than general news, religious news, political news and even other potentially sensational items.

This of course has a upside in that when one decides to be "out", one usually wants to be "out" to most others and "fast grapevine" helps in that respect. But it has a downside in that our culture still sees trans as sensationalist which is shouldn't.

Pamela

[Northern Star Girl]

True - the day I decided to be out, I wanted to be "all in" or better "all out". And yes, this is a bit sensational but I also know it really helped. One female coworker actually called a department meeting to help everyone understand what is going on and gave them an entire presentation about trans. So sweet of her!

The much I would like to hide it and just be a women, I also know there will always be moments where it will come out. My brother sent me a comic a while ago where three women are discussing dress colors. While the first and the second date between "Crimson" and "Scarlet" the third just proclaims "red" and outs herself as trans by not knowing the subtle differences of color. Especially for me as an older person with many people I have met over time, my only choice to live undetected is to break contacts with everyone. And even then a medical professional would know (and need to know). For now I decided to try my best but if it boils down, I also embrace being trans. There is an aspect of visibility helping the trans population - the more everyone sees trans as being a great way of living, the more people may re-think their positions and become accepting. I have had several big surprises in the past 10 month where people I was absolutely convinced they could not accept it, turned out to be really great about it. 

I hope the society's memory of my male times fades away one day. But until then, I am the ">-bleeped-< on the Block".

@sarah1972 :  That was a very nicely composed summary of how you feel about your current transition status.

I kinda of cheated, comparatively speaking, by immediately moving out of town the day I quit my male mode job and went full-time female.  I arrived in my new town as a woman and started my business as a woman.  Until it became public knowledge recently that I am a trans-woman no one had any idea about my past.... there were some suspicions with 2 of my gym  girlfriends as I found out later but then my visit to my Dentist office to see my Hygienist outed me per some of my writings around April 11th  here on my thread.

I enjoy hearing your story as you feel comfortable telling us about it.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jayne01]

Danielle, I only stumbled onto this thread yesterday and have been reading it like crazy. I just caught up. What an interesting story you tell. Thank you for sharing.

I am glad that the weight of keeping your secret has been lifted off you. I had no idea teeth could out you! I learnt something new. From all the photos I have seen of you, I never would have picked you as trans. You are a very beautiful woman and I just love how happy you look in every photo I have seen.

I have also subscribed to this thread and eagerly await for the next update. Is there some room for me in the popcorn gallery? I didn't bring any popcorn, but I did bring along some ice cream (cookies and cream!).

You are a real inspiration.

Jayne

[Northern Star Girl]

Danielle, I only stumbled onto this thread yesterday and have been reading it like crazy. I just caught up. What an interesting story you tell. Thank you for sharing.

I am glad that the weight of keeping your secret has been lifted off you. I had no idea teeth could out you! I learnt something new. From all the photos I have seen of you, I never would have picked you as trans. You are a very beautiful woman and I just love how happy you look in every photo I have seen.

I have also subscribed to this thread and eagerly await for the next update. Is there some room for me in the popcorn gallery? I didn't bring any popcorn, but I did bring along some ice cream (cookies and cream!).

You are a real inspiration.

Jayne

@Jayne01  ... thank your for your message and I am quite flattered that you subscribed to my thread....  my journey has been quite an exciting ride for me especially when I became full-time and moved here.   
Obviously before that I had the same frustrations, disappointments, some successes that all transitioners experience but after about 18 months of HRT I was no longer passable as a male no matter what I did so that was the catalyst for me to move on.  I am single, and no kids, so that made the move much easier but I did have to build a new network of friends, acquaintances and business clients from scratch but given that I am outgoing and sociable that was not a big problem.
Thanks for your comments and replies ....  Yes, lots of room in the popcorn galley... I imagine the other regular readers will share their popcorn as long as you share your ice cream...
Hugs,
Danielle

[Jessica]

@Jayne01  ... thank your for your message and I am quite flattered that you subscribed to my thread....  my journey has been quite an exciting ride for me especially when I became full-time and moved here.   
Obviously before that I had the same frustrations, disappointments, some successes that all transitioners experience but after about 18 months of HRT I was no longer passable as a male no matter what I did so that was the catalyst for me to move on.  I am single, and no kids, so that made the move much easier but I did have to build a new network of friends, acquaintances and business clients from scratch but given that I am outgoing and sociable that was not a big problem.
Thanks for your comments and replies ....  Yes, lots of room in the popcorn galley... I imagine the other regular readers will share their popcorn as long as you share your ice cream...
Hugs,
Danielle

Danielle, you share the adventure, we'll share the popcorn.  Enough for all.

Oh........and ice cream goooood!

Jess

[Jayne01]

I am happy to share, maybe even some chocolate.

Danielle, you have quite a fan club here cheering you on.

Jayne

[amberwaves]

Danielle is simply amazing and it's no wonder she had so much interest in her, both from suitors and us.

[sarah1972]

Hi @Alaskan Danielle -

I feel I owe some clarifications to my previous post and sorry for derailing your thread a bit.

You are absolutely correct, this is the story of my transition. I should have better posted it in my thread.
Every trans persons life story is different, some have it fairly easy and can openly live as trans, others have a much rockier road and may lose friends or family in the process of becoming themselves. Some prefer to live completely stealth and are successful doing so, others want to be visible activists. Such a great variety of life stories and people.

For my personal goal: I hope one day it will be possible that people I have never met or only met briefly will see me as women and will not question my past even on brief social interactions. I am not advertising my status.

I know you have been going through some rough times yourself before being able to fully live as yourself. You are a strong and amazing women and I have so much respect for what you did to get where you are today. It does feel like you have arrived at a (mostly) happy place and even your unexpected revelation is something you have been able to handle extremely well. I do hope your happy days continue!

Hugs

Sarah

P.S. And yes, I am also in the Danielle Fan Club...

True - the day I decided to be out, I wanted to be "all in" or better "all out". And yes, this is a bit sensational but I also know it really helped. One female coworker actually called a department meeting to help everyone understand what is going on and gave them an entire presentation about trans. So sweet of her!

The much I would like to hide it and just be a women, I also know there will always be moments where it will come out. My brother sent me a comic a while ago where three women are discussing dress colors. While the first and the second date between "Crimson" and "Scarlet" the third just proclaims "red" and outs herself as trans by not knowing the subtle differences of color. Especially for me as an older person with many people I have met over time, my only choice to live undetected is to break contacts with everyone. And even then a medical professional would know (and need to know). For now I decided to try my best but if it boils down, I also embrace being trans. There is an aspect of visibility helping the trans population - the more everyone sees trans as being a great way of living, the more people may re-think their positions and become accepting. I have had several big surprises in the past 10 month where people I was absolutely convinced they could not accept it, turned out to be really great about it. 

I hope the society's memory of my male times fades away one day. But until then, I am the ">-bleeped-< on the Block".

@sarah1972 :  That was a very nicely composed summary of how you feel about your current transition status.

I kinda of cheated, comparatively speaking, by immediately moving out of town the day I quit my male mode job and went full-time female.  I arrived in my new town as a woman and started my business as a woman.  Until it became public knowledge recently that I am a trans-woman no one had any idea about my past.... there were some suspicions with 2 of my gym  girlfriends as I found out later but then my visit to my Dentist office to see my Hygienist outed me per some of my writings around April 11th  here on my thread.

I enjoy hearing your story as you feel comfortable telling us about it.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Charlie Nicki]

@Jayne01  ... thank your for your message and I am quite flattered that you subscribed to my thread....  my journey has been quite an exciting ride for me especially when I became full-time and moved here.   
Obviously before that I had the same frustrations, disappointments, some successes that all transitioners experience but after about 18 months of HRT I was no longer passable as a male no matter what I did so that was the catalyst for me to move on.  I am single, and no kids, so that made the move much easier but I did have to build a new network of friends, acquaintances and business clients from scratch but given that I am outgoing and sociable that was not a big problem.
Thanks for your comments and replies ....  Yes, lots of room in the popcorn galley... I imagine the other regular readers will share their popcorn as long as you share your ice cream...
Hugs,
Danielle

It's great to read your perspective in this post. Sometimes when we see successful transitioners like you it's easy to think that you might just be lucky and the rest of us are doomed so it's good to read that you once had the same frustrations that those of us in the middle of transitioning still have. It gives us hope.