Confused, Young Soul and Doubts.

[Jhuanny]

Hello Everyone, I'm new Here and i'm 22 years old -  old virgin, male.

I have some questions and ask for help/advice according to the quotations below - I would like to share some situations and ask for help to understand what I really feel.

Since I understand as people, I have always used and loved women's clothes but deep down I always had the feeling that I had done something wrong. I have an attraction for femininity (trans women, cd, women).


Some doubts
1) I love to fantasize, to imagine myself being a girl with smooth skin, no hairy body, long hair and I would love to be treated and identified as a woman - but I am very masculine, unfortunately. When I masturbate, after cum, I feel so sad, ashamed and regret , to the point of throwing off my clothes and promising never to dress again.
What is this feeling, what does it mean?
(I dress up since my 7-9 years and it's always the same feeling - it does not pass).
Is this typical of cross-dressing fetish? Would this happen if I had to relate to someone else?

2) Usually I wear my mother's clothes, aunts and cousins ​​- I've never had women's clothes. I never looked at myself in the mirror as a woman. I want to start allowing and see what I will feel.

3) I have no sexual attraction to men (manly, masculinity) but I would love to have sex with one. This is so confusing. Can hormones make me feel attracted to men?

4) As a man, I can not look me in the mirror for more than 5, 10s. I have a strange feeling.

5) How do I know if I only have Fetish or if I am trans woman?

6) Since chilhood, I watch trans porn, I'm addicted. This is causing me problems - can I be influenced by pornography? (I dress even before pornography - it was not the pornography that made me feel, just empowered).

7) I had deep vein thrombosis (DVT) in the legs and I take anticoagulant, I read that taking hormones has there is a great risk and is not indicated. Does that mean I definitely, no way, can not take hormones?

8 ) I feel soo good, emotionally excited (as a woman) in chat rooms online with men. My characters in games, movies, anime, mmorpgs have always been female. Does that mean anything?

9) Major time when I get dressed I feel sexually aroused - may I conclude that this excitement is only fetish and I'm not trans ?

I appreciate any suggestion / advice. <3 !

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. If you read through the introduction section of the site you will discover many introduction that read very much like yours. My guess is that your transgender however what I think is unimportant. What you think is important so if you think your transgender, you probably are. I have a couple of links that you might find helpful. The first is our WIKI where you will find out just what it is to be transgender. The second is "the transition channel" where you will be able to explore some the questions that will come up in therapy.

That leaves question number seven. Normally the risk of blood clots isn't very high with estrogens or women would be at great risk from them however there may be a small risk associated with estrogen. It will depend on your health as to what can be done. Possibly a lower dosage which is sufficient to feminize you and maybe patch or injections instead of pills which are believed to have a higher risk. New information on this is still being discovered so discuss it with your doctor and see what can safely be done.

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[V M]

Hi Jhuanny 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M