Trans+crossdressing : How to know If we are drag, cosplayer, or other ?

[Flysander]

Since some months, I'm more and more interested in opposite gender crossdressing, not as an identity but just as an occasional funny/private moment.
I saw "femme FtM" existed as FtM cosplayers do and I guess "FtM drags" too.

But I feel very attracted by the fact of wearing latex female-like gear to have a sexy appearence.
After I felt this interest, I saw a documentary/interview about biological men who wear latex living doll costumes and it made me a little surprised. The majority of them are heterosexual, old, very mannly and have a responsible life.
I'm not old nor heterosexual, but I'm manly too (I have facial hair and my passing is just perfect) and have a hard life.
Unlike them, I would not try such a costume as a kind of escape from the hard reality, but like them I find it a way to hide my true being. I think I would not embody the female persona but stay an actor playing a role. I would dress up a female role to fill a void in my private life. In fact, I'm a little frustrated because I feel like some of a bisexual transman and I've only relationships with men.
I think I'll have this fetish in order to "create" a female-like I cannot meet, but I'm unsure, because it could also be the fact I'll find through a female appearance the way to seduce more people.

I don't understand what I'm about to do. I just know that is nothing to do with my identity : I'm a man inside of me and a true nag, but I have this want to just play a woman/doll role and show how seductive I could be like that.

But I'm very confused, I don't know if I'm a drag, a cosplayer, a living doll, or just an occasional crossdresser ?
I put aside the term "femme", 'cause I don't feel effeminate at all, I just would try to express my seductive skills.

What are you thinking about it ?

[BT04]

Human sexuality is a wonderful, perplexing, and utterly ridiculous thing. I love it.

I expect to pass pretty quickly when I start T - at this rate, I just need the voice - and I suspect when I do achieve the more male body that I've always needed, it'll free me up to really, genuinely explore my feminine side without so much discomfort and hangups. I'd always liked wearing catsuits and tight stuff (not latex though, I can't stand the feeling of my skin not being able to breathe), corsets and the lot of it. I've been avoiding that side of me for a number of years now because of the dysphoria, which sucks. I can't wait to finally look "right" wearing fetish gear.

I'd say stop psychoanalyzing yourself and just have fun. Sometimes Freud is right, sometimes the "whys" are actually just meaningless coincidence. I'd also recommend you start talking to other people who do some of this stuff regularly, and have a healthy, well-adjusted relationship to it. You might make some great friends, go to some fun events, and maybe learn a little more about yourself in the meantime. Fetlife is a good place to start for finding munches in your area, which are casual meet-and-greet type get-togethers in public where you can ask questions and get a feel for your local scene. It's a no-pressure environment and if you're lucky, there'll even be some good food too.