Making a little progress to help my gender dysphoria

[karenk1959]

I don't want to transition at this time for many reasons, including a fear of losing my relationships and worsening my already bad depression, especially since I won't pass and I know deep down that I want to be a complete woman, not a man that looks like a woman. I am happy to say, however, that I made a little progress toward self-acceptance. My wife was away and I was able to wear panties and pantyhose all day without getting depressed and feeling like a freak, at least most of the day. Just kept on saying that it is okay that I am woman in a man's body and accept whatever affect it has on my marriage. It will take time for me ~

[BlueJaye]

That's great, Karen!

My wife, unfortunately, can't tolerate seeing me in women's clothing. Not even something like panties that can be hidden under male clothing:(. But, we recently agreed to try a low dose HRT treatment, and the effects have been really much better than either of us had hoped for. My emotions and anxiety from gender dysphoria have reduced quite a bit. For the first time in my life I feel like I might be able to live this way without doing a lot more.

If you haven't discussed HRT with a therapist, it might be worth your time. It has made a very positive change for me. It might also help you cope with not being able to fully transition.

[Karen]

Thank you both for sharing.   My wife is in the same place as BlueJaye.   

Karen, I had a lot of stress - shame and fear - when I started to realize I was transgender and told my wife.  I was also fearful and shameful of wanting to wear panties, stockings...nighties to bed when she is not there.   I am more than good now and am accepting of who I am.   These little things act like an acceptance and acknowledgment of me, and part of me that I have denied for ever. 

It sure is nice and it helps as I navigate this path and find what's right for me. 

Karen.